Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Class 6 of the 30 day challenge (class 20 of the summer)

Yesterday's class was pretty amazing. A visiting teacher to the studio really kicked our butts. It's always wonderful to take classes from new people as I do the same sequence of poses in bikram over and over. I cherish the new insights and new ways of thinking about my body in the poses. For instance, my instructor yesterday talked about seeing the feet activated like suction cups, creating a beautiful arch that sucks the energy up the legs. I greatly enjoyed that imagery, as I work through foot issues.

My standing poses were deplorable yesterday and I felt very embarrassed as the new teacher saw me, lowly me, who's supposed to be going to teacher training this fall. I had a very strong second half of class and felt great this morning.

I feel a lot of fear when I think of how I will do taking eleven classes a week with posture clinics and late night lectures for nine weeks. I'm very attached to my sleep and I feel like my body will be really challenged to keep up with the demands of all those classes. As usual, I fear that everyone else in training will be better than I am, have nice slim and trim bodies and amazing and deep postures, while I struggle to hold my poses and fall out of them. I am scared that people behind me in training will get annoyed with me because they have to look at my back as I wibble wobble my way through class. I might mess up others around me who can't keep their balance as I distract them.

I think the fear is natural... And I can't be anyone other than who I am right now. I'll just have to breathe through it.

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