I'm............ PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!

Image compliments of blogs.warwick.ac.uk

Hilariously enough... I'm not going "facebook-public" with this news.  So if I do happen to know you, email me, let's celebrate, but please don't mention anything on Facebook yet!  Most of my friends and family don't read my blog, and I wanted to sort of explain what's been going on with me recently, and how it's been affecting my life and yoga practice.

So we did start trying in July, and things have been incredibly rocky all the way through until about a week ago.  My body was not exactly acting according to my plans, and it was making me kind of crazy.  I had an incredibly difficult time accepting what was going on.  I hardly had the energy to practice consistently and did not have the positivity I always try to connect with when I write.  Thus... blog silence for the most part.  Though I believe people like to read the truth, I also believe that if you're going to put things out there in the universe, err on the side of being positive.  If you don't have something positive to say, maybe it's best to hang back.

I struggled with exercise, turned to food, and slipped a bit into a bare minimum style of living, where getting through the day and getting home seemed like an incredible triumph.

So a week ago today I took a pregnancy test and it was positive!!!  I'm ecstatic.  I know it's quite early on in the process but my policy has been to tell many people I'm close to in my daily life.  First of all I have absolutely no poker face and second of all if something does happen I would want all the support I can get.

So now begins the joys and challenges of practicing Bikram while pregnant, and just, in general, living while pregnant!  I already find it challenging to be in the hot room and notice that because of the increased blood in my system, the increased demands on the heart of pumping said blood, that I get to that heart-slamming place a lot faster than I used to.

I have made a policy for a while of staying out of the front row and kind of minding my own business in the back of the room so as to keep from getting my ego involved in my practice.  It's medicine, and it doesn't matter what the poses look like, it's what's right for you on any given day.  Blank slate.  What does this mean for my practice so far?  Sometimes I have to spend a little time in standing bow set up just literally catching my breath.  Kicking out in head to knee is optional though I've been doing it (hence the need to catch my breath in standing bow.)  The spine strengthening series all I can say is OW OW OW OW!  When I'm on my belly.  Locust pose I've stopped smashing my breasts with my arms which means I can't get my hands together.

Everything else is still normal.

Teaching... wow.  This is where I feel it.  I get out of breath and sometimes have to stop talking to catch my breath.

The physiological effects of pregnancy are so fascinating to me.  It's like I'm my own science experiment for the next eight months or so.  I'm looking forward to blogging about it.  I do intend to keep this blog as a yoga blog and I don't intend to turn it into a baby blog or anything.  I'm not a big fan of kid blogs because I think it violates the privacy of the child.  Who wants to know that mom posted pics of you in the bath when you were little??? Really???

In general I'm grateful for this gift, this experience, and the strength I needed to get through a challenging time. I couldn't have asked for a more positive and awesome conclusion to that chapter and I'm excited for the new story that's just beginning.  Namaste all friends.

Still kickin

Compliments of Weblo... THANKS!

I'm still makin' it through over here... Have had some medical issues that put me into a place where I was struggling with reality.  Some things I've tried are keeping up with my yoga and exercise (to the best of my ability), doing some EFT with a professional, dropping therapy for a while (why force things?) and just trying to relax and appreciate the good things in my life like my hubby.

I'm not in any serious trouble or anything just wishing for things to happen faster than they are.  That may give you some clues!

Hope everyone is out there taking great care of themselves and being kind in the mind.

Happy Blogiversary! A giveaway for followers!

photo courtesy of http://kedarphotography.wordpress.com

Many thanks. Today is my blogiversary!

Last year I started this blog as the dream of attending Bikram Yoga Fall Teacher Training 2009 materialized in my mind. Teaching yoga is something I knew I wanted to do from the first moment I sat down to stretch with a book I received as a gift – The Supple Body http://www.amazon.com/Supple-Body-Fitness-Strength-Flexibility/dp/0028604415. I learned the routines and practiced them on a family trip to China for three weeks. As we cruised along the Yangtze River I awoke and stretched on the upper deck of the boat, watching the fields go by. The air was murky, the water a churning yellow, and the landscape serene in the morning sun. The quiet and calm of purposeful stretching inspired an introspective mental state that felt like home to me. That was in 2000.

As the spring Bikram teacher training gets under way, I reflect on all the changes in my life since I made that decision to go to training last fall. It was a grueling experience and I am indeed fireproof (as Bikram would say) for having come through it. I am pleased that trial-by-fire training was my first. I will teach lots of yoga in my lifetime, only some of it being Bikram. Not everyone is ready to step into the hot room. I will go to them; I believe in the power of practicing and learning about one's own body. In my opinion, everyone needs to experience the vessel through which they experience life - in an intimate and personal way. Yoga is the method I use for that work (any yoga butt that ensues is a definite plus ha ha).

My goal as a teacher in the workplace and in the studio is to be a model of self-acceptance in the practice of yoga. I strive to practice patiently with a good attitude and a smile, whether I'm falling out of standing bow for the umpteenth time or doing restorative practice surrounded by pillows. I have fulfilled a life long dream and my life is much fuller for it.

I'm giving away a fabulous prize to express gratitude for my blog followers. Thanks swankysoothers (on Etsy.com)! I got one for myself too. Hey - it's my blogiversary - I can relax if I want to.

These awesome 100% organic wraps are made with flaxseed and rice for ultimate heat therapy! They are lightly scented with soothing lavender chamomile and smell sooo great! They are made with swanky, designer fabric- you will look good while relaxing :)! Can be used hot or cold. To heat just warm in the microwave in 30 second intervals (they come with instructions). Eye soothers can be warmed for 1-2 minutes. Eye measures approx. 3x10. Flaxseed is great for retaining heat and moisture and giving a calming effect. Rice is also great for retaining heat. ****lavender and chamomile create a calming and soothing scent, great for right before bed!****

Here's the deal :

• If you are a PUBLIC follower as of 5/1/10 at 12am
• You live in the USA (shipping costs, people!)
• Please leave a comment in this post asking to be entered to win the eye pillow
• Make sure I have an easy way of emailing you or contacting you either through your blog or profile.

I will do the drawing this weekend by letting my hubby pick a name out of a hat. I'll contact the winner by next Monday. My family members are not eligible to win.

Thanks for reading. Here are some linky treats for you!

A really cool guide to mudras. I don't know much about hand positions for meditation. I liked this guide.

http://anmolmehta.com/blog/2010/04/26/yoga-mudras-free-illustrated-how-to-guide/

A long and in depth article about teaching yoga to treat low self esteem

Yeah Dave on Big Round, Hefty and Sexy
These pictures of Iceland's Blue Lagoon are incredible. Breathtaking.
http://peaceloveyoga.blogspot.com/2010/04/vist-to-blue-lagoon-relaxing-magic.html

My blogger skills aren't great right now I know these links should be renamed and "hidden" but I guess I still have more to learn. Always!

Thanks readers and friends for being with me on this fabulous journey.

A photoshoot tomorrow

Hi friends! Here's some campanula to start your day courtesy of All Posters.com.

I'm quite excited today and a bit nervous. I am doing a photoshoot tomorrow to capture some of the poses that I teach in the workplace so I can make up sequence sheets with non-pirated images. Most of what I teach in the workplace is very low impact - viniyoga moves, and gentle yoga. Things that can be detrimental to yoga for beginners in the workplace: weight bearing moves, balancing, strenuous or deep stretching, and vigorous pace. Instead, the focus is on movement and stretch while keeping the body as safe and relaxed as possible.

A big focus of this session will be on capturing low impact moves. I will however stick in a few more advanced postures just because I'm not sure when I'll have this opportunity again!

Which brings me to my very human admission of some body issues coming up as I prepare for the photo shoot. To be honest, I feel less-than as I look at beautiful long-limbed lean yogis online doing perfect sun salutations. My husband and I talked about this, and he said, what's the spirit you're bringing to this?

My answer is this. Self-acceptance and emotional growth are the basis with which I mark progress in my personal practice. Not the perfection of asana. I may carry extra weight as a result of my battle with and subsequent and ongoing recovery from compulsive overeating disorder, but I am strong and I am proud of all my body can do for me.

The decision to share some photos with the online community and with my students around my state in workplaces is a kind of coming out, a kind of acceptance of myself, a marking of a point in time, as I continue to grow and change.

So... I'm hoping to have some cool stuff coming up and I am excited and nervous, but I know I'm heading in the right direction. I can feel it. We shall see how the pics come back!