Wednesday, June 2, 2010

When one door closes, another opens. Usually a bigger better one. Like French doors with stained glass, right?

Sadly, this yoga teacher training I wanted to attend has been cancelled. I applied for a scholarship to do social media and blogging to publicize the training. I must say I was really hoping to go. So I found out yesterday there were not enough attendees so they had to cancel it.

This disappointment and my last - the unexpected passing of my dear aunt, have led me to the kitchen. In my past, as I recover from Compulsive Overeating Disorder, I might have gotten junk food to numb out the pain. I did something slightly different this last two weeks. I cooked a fabulous dish definitely serving as comfort food (lasagna last night and brisket two weeks ago). But the difference between bingeing on junk food and cooking a dish that requires time and effort, care and attention, is huge.

I love losing myself in cooking. Especially a complicated recipe like lasagna, where you simmer the sauce, boil the noodles, grate the cheese and assemble.

I will find my way back to my mat this afternoon for a trip to the hot room to do some Bikram. It really has been too long. I'm also dabbling a little bit with home practice and am wanting to dip my toe into ashtanga to work my upper body strength. Unfortunately I tweaked my wrist a little bit ago and am just starting to get my chaturunga back.

When I thought about going to Bali in August, I wanted to do a lot more vinyasa based yoga to get strong in that way as well. So I am going to pursue that goal over the summer, while still practicing Bikram as well. I am giving myself a little time to grieve this small loss before pushing on ahead and trying to practice every day.

Hoping you find love on your mat today.


Yolk E said...

I'm so sorry to hear that the training did not work out. It's hard when you feel like a certain path is the right one for you and then it doesn't work out.

I'm glad you're taking comfort in preparing food as much as eating it, though! I definitely understand both desires. I cook to distract myself, but also to serve--myself, the people I'm feeding, whatever. And cooking lasagna for yourself is still probably better than going out!

anna said...

Yup - I think cooking this for myself really worked to satisfy this craving. I love to cook. My husband taught me how and now he says I'm better than he is (he was a line cook). He's still better with the knife work than I am ;)