When one door closes, another opens. Usually a bigger better one. Like French doors with stained glass, right?

Sadly, this yoga teacher training I wanted to attend has been cancelled. I applied for a scholarship to do social media and blogging to publicize the training. I must say I was really hoping to go. So I found out yesterday there were not enough attendees so they had to cancel it.

This disappointment and my last - the unexpected passing of my dear aunt, have led me to the kitchen. In my past, as I recover from Compulsive Overeating Disorder, I might have gotten junk food to numb out the pain. I did something slightly different this last two weeks. I cooked a fabulous dish definitely serving as comfort food (lasagna last night and brisket two weeks ago). But the difference between bingeing on junk food and cooking a dish that requires time and effort, care and attention, is huge.

I love losing myself in cooking. Especially a complicated recipe like lasagna, where you simmer the sauce, boil the noodles, grate the cheese and assemble.

I will find my way back to my mat this afternoon for a trip to the hot room to do some Bikram. It really has been too long. I'm also dabbling a little bit with home practice and am wanting to dip my toe into ashtanga to work my upper body strength. Unfortunately I tweaked my wrist a little bit ago and am just starting to get my chaturunga back.

When I thought about going to Bali in August, I wanted to do a lot more vinyasa based yoga to get strong in that way as well. So I am going to pursue that goal over the summer, while still practicing Bikram as well. I am giving myself a little time to grieve this small loss before pushing on ahead and trying to practice every day.

Hoping you find love on your mat today.

back2kcab

that's back to back...

I am exhausted - I did 3 hrs of yoga last night with a 25 minute break in between. The second class was not bikram exactly, it was "hot yoga." I know I would have been better mentally if it had been Bikram, because I knew what to expect. Instead it was a bastardized version of the series, which I really don't dig very much. However, it's not my class, not my studio, not my problem. I did it because a friend asked me to stay and do it with her. It wouldn't have been such a big deal had I not been working out at the gym a bunch this week and eating light.

It was nice to take the first class easy - I didn't slack off at all, just kept it light and stayed right within the range of happy thoughts, happy mind, no struggle. I was surprised, actually, at how much my postures were about 80% the same with that kind of mindset. Sometimes it's important to turn down the "struggle" dial and let the practice be, pay attention to the breath and the room, etc.

Have not done much on the meal planning front, though have been enjoying some tasty delights.

On Sunday, I whipped up this veggie/minestrone/mulligatawny soup.

I had steamed some broccoli so had some broccoli water. Started there.

Added a head of cauliflower, rough chop

one pepper rough chop (could have used more)

Added kale that needed to be used

one onion

green onions

can of diced tomatoes (big)

de-fatted chicken broth (quart at least, it was a big soup)

lots of turmeric and ginger

other spices - s&p, garlic powder, crushed red pepper

optional - bag of edamame thawed or red beans cooked
tiny touch of olive oil.

continue to spice as it cooks - ginger and turmeric being the keys here!

I mean holy moly it was so tasty. I LOVE it. It was so easy to put together, especially since we had good homemade chicken stock ready to go. It was super easy... usually I would sautee the veggies before adding the broth but I just started the

Up and coming in 2010

Happy New Year! So... I have made it through the holidays, all the vacation, rich foods, drinking, parties, etc. I'm glad to be on the other side, frankly, It was enough to come home from training and try to get back in the swing of things... but then to have the holidays was amazing and fun, but I'm happy to get back to ROUTINE.

I have changed the name of the blog because I DID go to training and in a sense it was way easier than I thought it would be (the old name of the blog.) It's not appropriate for what I'm going to do in the future, however. I will continue to write about yoga on this blog, but will also include some thoughts on eating and cooking. DH (dear husband) has decided he wants to shape up a bit. I couldn't be more excited to continue my journey and include him more in the healthy eating. Possibly even exercising and coming to Bikram with me!

So as I begin to delve into the world of writing and talking about food and eating, I want to write with full disclosure that I am currently in recovery from Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and Compulsive Overeating (COE). In my recovery journey, it's been very important for me to NOT diet. Starting in the fall of 2007, I legalized all foods and swore that I would never diet again. In late 2008-2009 I worked with my therapist to learn how to start tracking my food intake without playing mental games with myself. I learned and am still learning how to be objective, use information, and make informed, adult decisions on how to live.

I am happy to report that I am on hiatus, maybe permanently, from therapy! I also consider myself in strong recovery. There are times when I use food to soothe my emotions, but it is no longer like it used to be, where every single day I would starve myself and tell myself I had to get thin then get home and binge myself into oblivion. No longer do I come up with crazy extreme weight loss plans and binge as soon as I eat one extra almond. That is very unhealthy mentally, physically, and especially spiritually. It's mean on the spirit and I will never again treat myself that way.

That said, I have had the goal of actively losing weight, to get my body mass index down, so as to be leaner, stronger, and to look more healthy. Thankfully, these days, I feel extremely healthy on the inside, and I am moving closer and closer to having my outsides match the great way that I feel on the inside. Through using the fitday.com food tracker and measuring tape, and doing regular bikram (not to mention the teacher training for 9 weeks) I have definitely shaped up this year. I have not done much weighing yet so I can't say how much.

So... posting about cooking, food, and eating on this blog along with the yoga will be a very personal experience for me. I may even talk about weight. I hope that I can do it in an honorable way - and if I can't, I'll just go back to writing about yoga. But I think it's a more honest reflection of my life in the blog to talk about all of it together. Especially since DH (dear hubby) is along for the ride now and wants to do a healthy eating challenge. I am committed to enjoying myself and not depriving myself. And hopefully having fun and making the blog more interesting!

We're going to use South Beach as a game plan. True, South Beach has a restrictive phase, but I will treat those as guidelines, not rules. Continually I will assert - no food is off limits to me and if I'm hungry for something or just want it anyway, I can always have it.

That said, along with writing about our journey through this, I also want to blog about the idea of meal planning and cooking in advance and freezing. I have always thought that those were things I'd love to do in an ideal world. However... it has never really happened.

This week is the first go at planning for and shopping for the week's dinners in advance. I used a menu planner from the Rachel Ray magazine. It's not south beach style cooking yet, but that's fine. I actually think portion control is more challenging than not eating white rice or bread. We hardly do that anyway. So hopefully by the end of 2010 I'll be a whiz at putting together menus and shopping lists and doing some bulk cooking and freezing. Hey who knows... this time next year I might even be pregnant!