Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Finally, back at it. 30 TO GO!

I took a grand nine day vacation from practice. There. I said it. I had to do it. It's very easy for me to become militant with myself, and frankly, I was getting to the point where I was not enjoying my practice. I was seriously bored. So I took some time off, and feel really refreshed.

Back in the studio yesterday, my practice was definitely a little wobbly - more than usual. But I just relaxed and didn't push too hard, as I am going to complete a 30 day challenge now, then modify my practice for my needs the few days before I leave for training.

I have felt some wrist tendonitis activated over the last month, something that I thought I got through. After a week off, practicing yesterday, I identified exactly what has triggered it recently. I have a bit of extra heft. I'm working on it, I'm working on it! I've lost a lot of weight this year - a lot of weight for the fact that I'm not dieting it off, I'm eating more healthfully.

This extra weight does get in my way in certain poses. In rabbit, for example, I have not been able to grab my feet well ever. In the past six weeks or so, I have actually done some rabbits - real ones, where I grab my heels.

So having taken some time off, I was very curious yesterday to figure out what was triggering the wrist pain during my practice. Wrist pain that nags me all the time when it gets triggered. It's uncomfortable. So... as soon as I did the real grab, which I can barely hold, my wrist exploded with pain.

Now I know - that pose puts too much strain on my wrist at my current weight. Because, I have to reach really hard to get around the thighs to the feet, I have short arms to begin with. So I immediately went back to what I was doing before, which was to grab my towel as close to the heels as possible and use that for leverage.

As soon as I did that on the second set, the wrist pain went away. It doesn't require me to bend my wrist too far to do that. I was loving rabbit when I could grab, but my top priority is to be as pain free for training as possible. So I'm really excited to do this last 30 day challenge to complete my 100 class summer now that I know for certain what's triggering the wrist pain.

Other than that I feel great. No more booze going into the system. I'm trying to eat healthfully without restricting myself, allowing for some treats. But really, I know that refined sugar is just not going to do me very much good at this point. So I guess those treats need to be wholesome stuff.

I look forward to training. I am incredibly nervous about training. I feel like everyone there will be skinny and I will not be. I'm really going to have to keep my head in a positive place. I have my line all planned out for when Bikram calls me a fatty - I'm going to say, you should have seen me last year, boss!

Last year at this time I was not as far along in my recovery from Binge Eating Disorder and Compulsive Overeating Disorder. I was not exercising that much. I was significantly heavier. I don't know how much on the scale because getting on the scale does not assist me in my recovery. I am much stronger and more confident now, and I know without a doubt that I will be an amazing yoga teacher.

Since my last post I have started leading a weekly yoga class at my office. It's nothing much, yet. I want to work with the ladies that come in building strength and confidence eventually, but first I want to show them the joy of yoga - the relaxing of the muscles, the care for the heart and mind that comes from watching the breath and moving with intention. This ain't no bikram class. Really I am going to teacher training for my own personal practice - I look forward to teaching bikram, but it's just the beginning of my teaching journey.

If I had tons of cash and time, I'd run right off to the Viniyoga certification, anusara, and iyengar certifications. I do however believe strongly in the healing power of bikram, and would send someone to that practice first. But the other traditions have much to give, and I am a student always.

So... nerves, living on pennies for these last six weeks, hoping to meet some good friends at the training, hiring a temp to replace me, hoping that person just kicks so much ass to give back to the company that has allowed me the nine week leave of absence, trying to feel connected to my hubby, who is very sad about the reality of living alone again...

and the saga continues!

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