Thursday, June 25, 2015

My fat told me it would make me famous

Image compliments of

In the book A Course in Weight Loss by Marianne Williamson, the second exercise is to write a letter to your fat, and to write a letter back.  It's called "Thin you, meet not thin you."  Here's an excerpt:
Any reaction to your not-thin self that is based on fear - judgment, attack, self-criticism, self-loathing - will only keep your excess weight in place.  If the miracle you are seeking is the removal of excess weight, then learning to love all aspects of yourself - even her - is your liberation.
As counterintuitive as it sounds, it is your learning to love Not-Thin You that will cause this aspect of yourself to disappear.  She didn't ask to be here; she isn't comfortable here; she was summoned up, and summoned up by you.  As you make her your ally rather than your enemy, she will disappear into the light of your true being.  She is quite literally a manifestation of a ghost, a mere twisted thought given form by your subconscious mind.  But before [the force of] love... all that is nothing.   ACIW p. 43
And two more freaking insane gems from this chapter/lesson:
Consciously, you feel like Thin You is the real you, while Not-Thin you is the imposter; but subconsciously, you feel like Not-Thin You is the real you, and Thin You is the imposter.    ACIW p. 46
... [I]n keeping her out of your heart, youve kept her on your body.   ACIW p. 47
Just let those rip through your system for a moment.  (Pause).
OK, now to proceed!

I fulfilled the lesson, writing two letters.  The first, not surprisingly, had the message that it's getting hard to get around, I don't want to feel this way, and that the way the fat seems to keep adding on is one of my few experiences of true abundance.  (Interesting, that!)

The letter back was... we'll just say... pointed.

You NEED ME.  I have so much to give you that you have been unable to receive.  How can you let me in?  Daily breaks.  (Some notes about my yoga practice and teacher.)  I want massages and acupuncture and therapy.  I want a pre-meal embrace and ritual.  I want a break at 10:30 EVERY day.  Don't f*cking stuff me away with food anymore.  And if you're having a second drink (or, especially, a third, or a fourth), I'm being shut out.
A little later, this:
I WILL be heard I WILL be felt even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming I will be heard.
Whoa!  She's a strong and feisty one.
I will make you famous.  I am your gift to share with the world.  Use my programs and I'll start to shapeshift for you.

So that said, I'm starting work on an online yoga program for managing the nervous system.  Starting to shoot videos even at my current weight.  I'm hoping to launch something (fantastic) by the end of the year!

That said, it's getting on near 10:30 in the morning and this lady needs her break.  Try writing a letter to your Not-Thin self.  You might be surprised what you hear back!

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