Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Settling back in...

I'm finally feeling like I'm inhabiting my own body after training. It was amazing how the last 24 hours in Vegas, the trip home, and the first week home at various points felt like I was watching a movie of my life happening... like I was disconnected from my body, and especially my own volition. I had set things up and they happened to me, around me, and for me. Sure, I still had to do a bunch of stuff, but I followed the path I had created for myself and landed home safely.

Getting back to work within 24 hours of landing was a choice I might not make the same way again. However, I love my job and the people there and so it was the right thing to do. I only managed three practices last week. My body is and was crying out for MORE YOGA PLEASE.

Last night was my third class teaching. I felt great. Much more comfortable. The timing of the class was great, the attendance good, and the heat was perfect. Nice and hot, not TOO humid. Lots of red smiling faces at the end of class. Someone brought a seltzer into class and cracked it during class... it inspired me to add "Crack a beer" to my dialogue. It was funny if I do say so myself.

In general, I feel that my teaching dialogue is strong through the first water break. After that... I have strong poses in a sea of mush. My second teacher to take my class said lots of great things to me about my class and my energy then gently reminded me to keep reading my dialogue. I have not stopped. I took week 9 of training off of dialogue study and I'm thankful that I gave myself that peace. Since I have been home I'm back to listening to the dialogue recording I made in the car, at work, whenever I can. I love auditory learning. So at this point, I feel good about:
Half Moon/backbend/forward bend
standing separate leg stretching pose
fixed firm

I feel ok about:
pranayama breathing
kapalabhati breathing
standing head to knee
standing bow
balancing stick
standing separate leg head to knee
spine twist

I could really stand to work on:
balancing stick (it just feels a bit icky)
tree & toe
full locust
separate leg head to knee w/stretching

I know that all the dialogue will get there. The stuff I have I have cold, exact, verbatim.

Regarding practice, I squeezed in a mini-bikram class yesterday before teaching leaving me feeling glowing and plumped up. Maybe pumped up is the right word. 45 minute class with myself in the studio was really really awesome. I looked around when practicing by myself and said... hey! I am a yoga teacher! I'm practicing here, practicing hard, doing my thing, and I have this beautiful space all to myself. I did feel energized for teaching. A little longer though and I would have that wilted sweaty look that I don't want when I am teaching.

Today I'm off to a sister studio to get my butt kicked. I'm hoping to practice every day this work week - 5 classes - plus sunday morning makes 6. I'm hoping that amount of practicing gets me back to feeling like my body is singing. I don't feel awful per se, I just feel the transition from Vegas to Vermont, relative warmth to WINTER, yoga life to regular life with job... I feel it in my body.

I have read some stuff recently by Erich Schiffman (a yogi I admire) and many other yoga blogs that I follow. I wonder if sometimes my blogging about yoga is petulant and whiney, rather than sage and "still" as it "should" be. What a gas. There are always lots of "shoulds" I'll be working with in my life. That's the way my mind works.

I read other people's stories and see them immersing themselves into the yoga world much more deeply than I will be able to do. I admire and envy them at the same time, then return to my perspective, my life... and realize that a life of balance, love, family, and commitment to my circle of people is more important than running off to India to study with the masters. There are many things I can be doing to deepen my practice while maintaining my regular old life. I can be more joyful with what I have right here and right now. I don't have to run off to India or open a yoga studio of my own to do that. In fact that would not be a balanced act on my part.

I am committed to helping my current studio increase its profitability over the next year. I'm helping with marketing materials and ideas. Hopefully we can see some real benefits from marketing over the next couple of months.

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