Moving with Grace

First class teaching in four months!

2011-09-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of allposters.com

Yesterday I taught for the first time in four months! I'm so grateful to have had the chance. The class was small and full of seasoned practitioners. It was nice to see these friends and show them a really cute picture of my little guy who is 3.5 months old.

I had many doubts about teaching. I plan to return to regular teaching in October, so this was a test balloon if you will. It was no problem and was great fun! Lots of dialogue rolled off my tongue. There were a few places where I didn't have the words I sought but it was certainly not evident to the students. Places I want to brush up on: Standing Separate Head-to-Knee pose, Triangle (always), Cobra and the entire spine strengthening series... and Rabbit. I actually forgot the pose name of rabbit. The students reminded me.

I believe my tone has changed a lot since training and now since motherhood. I knew there were those in class who hadn't been in a while and who needed encouragement but not too much pushing. I think I hit a great balance, because one woman who was nervous before class said she felt lucky that she picked this class for her return.

I made it to class myself before teaching which was wonderful. My body has been crying out for yoga which I'm able to supply only some of the time. I've been rebuilding my strength at the gym when possible. All the relaxin has left my body and the ligaments have tightened right up! In one sense, it is great to feel that rigidity of structure again. On the other hand, I feel all kinked up from three months of being hunched over the baby breastfeeding.

I kicked out in Standing Head-to-Knee pose for the first time in over a year I think. Man did it feel great. Last year at this time I had just found out I was pregnant and was having the first trimester ickies. What a long hard rewarding year it has been. I still have a long way to go with my physical goals but I do feel a sense of emergence.

Yoga with a babe.

2011-07-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

Image Compliments of layoutsparks.com

Needless to say everything has changed; here I am posting at 2am because it's my "free" time - I'm hooked up to the pump with a hands free bustier on! So I have a bit of time to type before heading back to bed and snagging as much sleep as I can before the 5am feeding.

I have been practicing Gary Kraftsow's Viniyoga Series for Hip Therapy found here:http://www.amazon.com/Viniyoga-Therapy-Back-Sacrum-Kraftsow/dp/B000U0C9UE
I think it's a great series to help restore things around my c-section area, both in terms of scar tissue and just general hip and stomach fitness. It gets in nice and deep and is not too challenging when I'm so drained that I can't do much more.

I am headed back for my third bikram class tomorrow - I'm very excited to get into the studio. Last class I did was quite hot and it totally left me drained... but in a good way. It's so wonderful to work hard like that and my body craves it. I did most of class, even added the situps in the floor series. However I did sit some sets late standing series and was very much "done" by the end of class.

We will see what tomorrow brings.

So the first few months with a babe is so hunched over! And so much time parked under my little man, sitting. My hips and lower back don't feel great I'll just say that. I would be doing bikram every day if I could but I'm still pretty sleep deprived and unless he sleeps during the day, I don't have a chance to practice, even in a non-heated way (like just dabbling.) Still, I will get my practice and my body back. It's just a matter of time.

first class back

2011-06-19T15:50:00.001-07:00

wow. don't have much time so I'll keep it brief.

Manny was born via c section. his umbilical cord was tied in a true knot. when the cord knot cinched, thankfully my hobby saw the heartrate drop and flagged someone down, we were in the operating room in 10 minutes. Hubby may very well have saved the baby's life. I also came down with bells palsy before the birth and still half of my face is not moving. this is supposedly temporary.

so it was not the birth I imagined and recovery has been slower than I have liked. Still I made it to class today. Manny is four weeks old. Class was challenging and I won't get into it except to say I feel better than I have in ages. I am so grateful for my practice.

Third Trimester on the Mat

2011-03-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of funonthenet.in

Do you notice the neutral title of this blog post? If you don't have anything nice to say... don't say anything, right?

I'm just kidding. Let's start with saying some nice things about practicing Bikram in the third trimester.

In general, I'm free of back pain
In general, I'm free of hip pain
Class leaves me feeling less pregnant and more human
Many students offer me words of encouragement for even being there, which I drink up.
Exercise is good for me and the little one on board!
My blood pressure is great.

As one gets bigger, everything gets harder. Balance is a dream best left behind. The lung capacity shrinks, standing bow is a wibble-wobble fest... etc.
I tend to try my best through the standing series and depending on the teacher and the heat, I usually make it through the postures. Triangle, which used to be my nemesis before training, is now one of my favorite poses, though I don't hold it for all four sets every class. Second part of awkward and the standing balancing poses are kind of a joke. I do them, I do my best, but I spend way more time falling out and getting back in than I do in the actual poses.
When I get to the floor, I do my best but at rabbit (which we substitute with seated butterfly pose), I don't go down on the floor for savasanas - I just stay upright seated between the poses. At that point I don't need to be racing to the side-lying savasana and getting back up.
I've also substituted a wide legged twist that allows for the belly - I learned it in an Iyengar class and it's just way better than trying to do some sort of ardha matsyandrasana with the belly in the way. Oh I so wish I could find a picture of it - if you have a burning desire to see it email me and I will be happy to snap a pic and send it to you. It's a wonderful way to twist while pregnant.

I'm officially 33 weeks now and my belly is WOW - HUMONGOUS. I'm quite proud I've kept up with my practice and teaching. I do teach still, though I teach the floor series seated, getting up to help people with corrections. I find that practicing then teaching is still something I can do but it leaves me drained the following day. At this point, anything that gets me out of my own head and burns hours of the third trimester is a good thing. I love seeing the students at the studio and talking about yoga, I love giving a good hard bikram butt-kicking to these dear students, leaving them feeling all sweaty and wrung-out and recharged.

I look at their practices with sheer envy - just missing the ability to work hard like that, to do all the poses, to do situps and compression poses. I cannot WAIT to get back to my practice for real.

Soon enough! Soon enough.

Getting harder.

2011-02-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

image compliments of missouriplants.com

Bikram practice is definitely getting more challenging! My third trimester officially started yesterday which means I'm in the twelve-week countdown period until my due date! This coincides with a greatly enlarged belly, decreased lung capacity, and all the requisite lack in stamina that goes along with those conditions.

I have found myself sort of huffing and puffing my way through the floor series which has always been the easier part of class for me. Just moving up and down from pose to savasana is awkward and tiring by the end of class so I've made some adjustments. There are times that I stay sitting up from rabbit through the end of class since situps are out at this point as well.

Yesterday was my marathon take then teach two classes back to back as I do most Mondays. I did not work my hardest in the standing series because I knew I needed the energy left to teach. Normally, when I practice, I emerge energized and ready to blast the students with my energy - but during pregnancy especially the back half of pregnancy it doesn't really work that way. There's not a bunch of extra energy floating around to tap into.

Not maxing out meant honoring my heartburn and not going too deep into forward bends (hands on the floor in front of me for padahastasana and sep legs stretching) and for the first time, and this is sad to me, but I put my elbow on my knee for the first set of triangle. I did do the second set. Still, even with all of these modifications, I was sweating and working hard in class. In our studio, we substitute full wheel (backbend) for bow pose as an I'm-feeling-awesome-and-strong modification. We also can do the standard hip raise instead.

I tried to push up into wheel and it didn't feel very good in my mid-back. So... I'm going to try to be flexible (ha ha) and allow myself the chance to do/not do what feels right at that point for the rest of my pregnancy. There was a time where I felt like the pregnancy modifications were taking away from my class but now as I approach the end I couldn't practice without them.

With the entrance to my third trimester I'm looking forward gratefully to the days when my babe is on the outside of my body and I can return to practicing real Bikram!!!! Even if it's in a hot closet in my house early in the mornings when I've had no sleep, I'm craving those forward bends and compression poses like no one's business.

In the mix... Third Trimester is here!

2011-02-09T10:00:00.000-08:00

image compliments of flowerwower.com

I'm plugging away at this pregnancy, it seems... on Valentine's Day my third trimester will start. Yoga is my savior now and I greatly appreciate and need all the pregnancy modifications to the Bikram series. I've had some days where I've needed a nap more than a yoga class - days where the heat seems like the wrong place for me to be, and I trust those instincts. However, my body really needs and wants the practice, having missed classes due to snow and exhaustion for the better part of a week.

Today I get to practice! Woohoo! And I don't even have to teach to go along with it. It's truly a gift when I get to be "just a student" in the studio.

The aspects of practice that I feel are benefiting me the most are as follows:

The Heat:

Being in a nice warm humid room for ninety minutes is wonderful in these cold New England winter days. The heat stimulates detoxification of the skin. I'm not leaning on the heat to gain flexibility these days, I am instead working strength in the poses and breathing. But the heat feels so good. As a pregnant person, hot tubs are contraindicated. But since my bikram practice is consistent, my body has the ability to regulate core temperature while doing the series. So it's like being in the sauna or hot tub, which I'm not supposed to do.

Pranayama Breathing:

As the baby takes up more and more room, my lungs are taking a hit. I'm out of breath from little things like walking into work from my car and even from putting on shoes and socks. In bed, sleeping can be uncomfortable because of reduced lung capacity and increased weight. So for the seven minutes at the beginning of class where I take deep, deep breaths and use the body shapes to create more lung capacity, I'm in heaven. Well let's be honest... sometimes it's hard but by the second set I'm feeling the increase.

Standing Series Workout:

The standing series is such a wonderful cardiovascular, strength and flexibility workout all rolled into one. My heart pounds more now than ever in the past. By the time I hit the floor I'm always so grateful for the chance to have participated.

Floor Series Stretch:

The floor series during pregnancy is not nearly as challenging as it is non-pregnant. However I do enjoy practicing in a more mindful and meditative way. It's quite appropriate for pregnancy.

Some specific notes about the series: because of the constant change of my body shape now, the second part of awkward is really hard for me to hold my balance! I'm always tipping one way or another. I finally held the pregnant (ashtanga) version of head to knee for more than five seconds on a side last week. It's quite a hard pose. I always enjoy my downward dogs even as I miss all the head to knee poses. Can't wait to do cobra and rabbit again.

I taught a back to back last week (teaching the 4 and 6 pm classes) and I will not be doing that again while pregnant! Teaching is quite challenging as the lung capacity decreases. I've mellowed quite a bit and am not in rapid fire mode. It's just gotta be that way. I'm currently trying to lighten my already light teaching load to allow for full focus on practice these last few months.

That's all for now... much love!

Good Class = Bad Class = Just Class

2011-01-12T10:38:00.000-08:00

image compliments of aspca.org

I'm currently 23.5 weeks pregnant and I can feel our little guy kicking up a storm inside me as I type! I've definitely popped out a bit and have a nice round bump which is quite fun. I've been practicing 3-4 times a week still and I am quite certain it's helping with back and pelvis discomfort, and also helping me sleep well on days that I practice. Other days... preggo insomnia is crazy. You go to sleep, get up to pee, then have to go BACK to sleep... therein lies the problem.

Anyway, with the baby bump comes all the joys of the physical expansion side of pregnancy. I've stopped even trying to do a deep backbend in half moon. It doesn't feel right. Same with Camel - just inflating the pose with the breath is the way to go. I quite enjoy the pregnancy modifications for spine strengthening series. I miss the head to knee poses a bunch though.

I've started working with two other preggos in my studio which has been great fun. Important points I share with them:

In general, as the relaxin kicks in, focus on strength in poses rather than using the relaxin to go further in the poses.
6 inch foot separation in the half moon backbend always, and be gentle as the shape of the spine changes
do NOT crank "stomach thighs hips forward" (in any backbending pose)
add 6 inch foot separation in any pose at any time if it feels better in the pelvis
eagle may start to feel a little scrunchy in the pelvis, if it does, don't go as far with the leg wrap (this pose is contraindicated in some yoga traditions - esp. Iyengar)
Head to Knee modification is difficult, so don't forget to focus on the standing leg first
Down dog replaces separate leg head to knee, have someone check your form if you have questions
Locust Pose - on hands and knees - do not collapse in the belly area as you lift the leg. Keep the spine relatively parallel to the floor
Tailor sit for both sets of rabbit. Watch Rabbit. Miss it. :)
Don't scrunch anything in last two poses. This is harder than it seems.
Kapalabhati Breathing is contraindicated for pregnancy. Just do six counts in and six counts out.
This is not a total list of modifications by any means!! Check with a qualified teacher.

And, when you need to rest, do so. When you feel overheated or nauseated, stop and if it doesn't pass quickly, step out of the room if you need to. The other day I was done before camel. I had wanted to stay home and nap so I considered it a win just to get through the standing series. Also I taught the class afterward and needed my energy! Non-pregnant, practicing fuels me for teaching. While pregnant, it's always up in the air. There have been two classes where I needed to leave the room when I knew the heat was normal. It was just me. Some days in the second trimester, I'm rock solid and can practice balls-to-the-wall. But I assume nothing.

You learn at training... good class, bad class, it's all just class. You go in without preconceptions and practice, and check your ego at the door, doing the best for you that day.

Second Trimester Bikram and a battle wound from standing bow

2010-12-01T06:56:00.000-08:00

image compliments of http://www.worldgallery.co.uk/art-print/Flower-Power-III-130131.html

Second trimester Bikram is GREAT!!! In general, for the most part, I feel human again - in the first trimester I definitely felt pregnant and weird enough to keep me tentative. Not just in the studio, but also just in regular life. You never knew when a random wave of nausea of extreme tiredness would hit.

Second trimester is very different. As I said, I feel like myself - as opposed to feeling pregnant. Sometimes I have to remind myself there is a little being growing inside of me. I remember though when I get dressed, as no pants fit anymore (thank you bella band.)

In the studio, even after a week off for Thanksgiving travels, I was able to do a whole class, all postures, no problem. Sure it was hard but that's because it's Bikram! In the first trimester I never knew when I'd be sitting some of the standing series or feel wobbly or dizzy.

The pregnancy series does leave me feeling a little bit sad because I miss doing standing head to knee the way everyone else does it. And I REALLY MISS standing separate leg forehead to knee. If you get to do that pose a lot, CELEBRATE it!! The benefits to your endocrine system are incredible and the compression to the internal organs and digestive system is unparalleled. I cannot wait to do that pose again.

So I have a serious Bikram battle wound from Monday's class. I was practicing in the back (as I do when I'm doing pregnancy modifications) and was kicking so hard in standing bow that my foot slipped out of my grip and the top of my big toe left side smashed down onto my glass waterbottle which was sitting on the window sill behind me. Luckily: I didn't break my toe or the glass, just spilled the water. My toenail is still attached. I was bleeding as I sliced the top of the toe skin near off. Huge flap. Blood and grossness. Also I swore loudly as I went down.

I was transported back to training when there was unbearable pain and the breath, and that was it. I didn't get up for balancing stick I was sort of looking at it and realizing I was bleeding. A few paper towels helped mop it up and I finished class as best I could. Wow. I was really kicking. Note to self: stay away from the window sills. Never again.

Hope you are all finding joy in your yoga practices whatever and however they may be - celebrate the fact that with life we can do yoga and that is wonderful!

Iyengar fabulous

2010-11-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of arebonteam.blogspot.com

I started an Iyengar class last night that I'll be attending for at least seven weeks. Boy was it awesome!!! The teacher taught at a local yoga festival I attended and I was sure to catch her class, as I've been curious about her for some time now.

I was greatly inspired by her class at the yoga festival and found that she had a series starting yesterday. The class was well attended - it's her level1/level2 iyengar class (as opposed to her foundations yoga class). I have done some Iyengar in the past in NYC at the beautiful center there and loved it. So much yoga, so little time!

Anyway yesterday we did a lot of work on extending the upper thigh bones out of the pelvis. Also a great and difficult downdog to chatturunga move repeated a few times. My chatturunga hold is measly. My form is good but my stamina is lacking. I don't practice enough sun salutations! The series culminated in full arm balance (handstand) which she helped me get up into and I balanced off the wall (awesome!)

It was a great wonderful amazing class. She's a strong and challenging teacher with a firm voice that demands compliance. What I miss from iyengar is a real emphasis on subtle opening in small parts of the body. I was able to modify everything for pregnancy with relatively little change from the rest of the class. I have a feeling I'm going to learn a lot from practicing with her pregnant as far as how to modify. Sure I know the Bikram pregnancy modifications but that only covers the Bikram class. I know the basic tenants but there were things I learned last night.

My sanskrit is a little rusty so I'll just call the pose separate leg drape over front leg, hips rotated - I learned that pregnant or menstruating you don't have the heels in one line so as to leave more room (less pressure) on the pelvic area.

I had a total blast. I'll be teaching Bikram tonight. I practiced some in the last week but am also making sure I get my swimming in.

Take care yogis and yoginis!

Moving through the first trimester - introducing pregnancy modifications

2010-10-19T08:26:00.000-07:00

image compliments of photos.ibibo.com

I started to incorporate the pregnancy modifications and it's been wonderful. I had a sonogram and I am over 11 weeks along so it's been the perfect time to start adding them in. I've felt a little weird in the belly down stuff for a while so it's nice to have a set of postures I know I can do without hitting contraindicated things. This allows me to do class at 100% of my ability, rather than dropping off here and there working at 50% or less in a pose that I know will eventually be contraindicated.

One thing about the pregnancy series that I miss is the hormone flushing effects of standing separate leg forehead to knee and rabbit. Instead, I do down dog. Good for the upper body strength, but not so good for pressure to the pituitary gland.

I will have to post more on this subject, but I'm happy in the hot room, sharing the news in my studio, and feeling very healthy otherwise. I even ate KALE last night. I normally like kale and leafy greens but in my first trimester it's been difficult to keep up my veggie intake. Without nausea to blame, I feel it's important to give it the old college try, so that's what I'm doing. By the way, we added bacon to the kale. That's how you make anything palatable apparently!

Teaching has been great recently - and I just got my bikram certificate finally after paying off the last $3500. My hubby gave me a nice gift certificate to get it framed.

The wonders of practicing Bikram while pregnant

2010-10-05T06:23:00.000-07:00

Image Compliments of Claudia's Boutique

Aaaaah.... finally. After a difficult week last week of practice - first trimester meets jet lag meets a cold meets triangle... I was able to do 90% of class yesterday and was also able to teach a fun and energetic class afterwards. I feel amazing today. Not drunk with pregnancy hormones - but darn near normal!!!!

Class last night I had very few expectations. I had emailed Diane Ducharme earlier to ask about how my practice seemed to be falling apart last week and she said to skip practicing for my first trimester! I am not really taking that advice because of how good I feel when I practice - it affects me positively better than any other exercise. Her message had a wonderful impact on my mind going into the studio - like it was all icing on the cake - whatever I could manage to do. (Managing expectations.)

The first set of pranayama is so hard. It takes a lot of discipline not to breathe extra - to last the entire six counts. But by the second set my body is able to open up and breathe. It's wonderful.

Warm up yesterday was pretty good - put it this way, I was not struggling to keep my hands in the grip in half moon. That when you know you're in for it. I can usually do an abnormally deep backbend - I mean I can get a foot or two away from the floor. Yesterday as I went back slowly I felt a tug in the uterus area and backed off. I will see... but it may be the end of my super deep back bending for a while.

I was able to do some kicking out in standing head to knee and standing bow was good on my right leg both sets... left leg I was struggling. By balancing stick I was starting to get short of breath but I managed to do most of it and catch my breath at separate leg stretching. Made it through all four sides of triangle (barely) and skipped a set of sep. leg forehead to knee (which is an abdominal compression pose and I don't want to be doing it "hard" anyway.) I was not dead by tree and was able to do tree and toe - first time in a while.

The spine strengthening series I'm taking really easy now. I started to go up "like normal" for cobra and felt the tug in my uterus again and slowed way down, using a bit more of my arm strength to get up into it and hold it. Locust I'm using my forearms right under my hips to relieve pressure in my abdomen and am not lifting high, just focusing on tightening the leg. Full locust I'm not lifting up high and floor bow I'm not doing much more than getting the grip. I don't want to create any undue pressure down there.

Beyond that, I felt the tugging in camel so I backed off it a bit and rabbit I'm not really walking the knees to the forehead at all. I was mostly just so pleased to be able to do class yesterday. I feel amazing today.

I need to drink about twice as much water as usual after class, and also between practicing and teaching I had an Ultima electrolyte mix and an apple. Was able to teach a strong and energetic class. This morning it was the MOST. IMPORTANT. THING. that I got scrambled eggs. :)

A** on a platter

2010-09-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

image compliments of redbubble.com

First trimester plus jet lag plus triangle = complete collapse.

I had a brutal practice yesterday. Though I entered and left the room with a smile on my face. This pic is of a thorn flower, because practicing yesterday was a thorn in my side.

I took a week off to go on vacation (which was booked before we got the positive pregnancy test.) We had a wonderful time. It was like a honeymoon, only four years delayed. I managed to stay away from nausea and have a good time. The travel there and back was tough - especially dealing with the six hour time difference.

I had a pretty good idea that yesterday would be difficult. Just walking into the hot room felt uncomfortable. Bad sign. In pranayama, I was dripping sweat and struggling a bit. By the end of the warm up, I knew it was not to be a great class.

I did not kick out in standing head to knee, but still, by the second set of standing bow, I was kneeling about every other set. I felt waves of nausea and lightheadedness when I tried to stand up for tree/toe stand so I just went into savasana. I noticed I was pretty clenched - uncomfortable... even my face showed it I'm sure. It's tough as a teacher to be sitting out so much of class. I don't have a baby bump and only the teachers know I'm pregnant so it's a real ego check to practice appropriately and take care of myself.

The spine strengthening series is difficult for me to begin with as my breasts are sore. Last night I was barely picking myself up a few inches. Bow pose was a joke. By fixed firm I couldn't believe how badly I was feeling and felt the need to leave the room and get some electrolytes to mix with my water (I use Ultima).

I completed most of the rest of class... first set of camel was a no go, but I did do the second set. I did the super beginner modification of rabbit (hands on the floor). Seperate leg head to knee with stretching happened at about 50% of my normal effort and strength as did spine twist, and I did some exhales on the floor (supine) as people did kapalabhati breathing.

I was toast. I was dripping sweat. It was amazing. I got home and had to have OJ mixed with water and I rested on the couch.

So... I'm looking forward to getting my practice back little by little. I know the jet lag and return to work were complicating factors. And, when you take time off you always pay for it!

I'm............ PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of blogs.warwick.ac.uk

Hilariously enough... I'm not going "facebook-public" with this news. So if I do happen to know you, email me, let's celebrate, but please don't mention anything on Facebook yet! Most of my friends and family don't read my blog, and I wanted to sort of explain what's been going on with me recently, and how it's been affecting my life and yoga practice.

So we did start trying in July, and things have been incredibly rocky all the way through until about a week ago. My body was not exactly acting according to my plans, and it was making me kind of crazy. I had an incredibly difficult time accepting what was going on. I hardly had the energy to practice consistently and did not have the positivity I always try to connect with when I write. Thus... blog silence for the most part. Though I believe people like to read the truth, I also believe that if you're going to put things out there in the universe, err on the side of being positive. If you don't have something positive to say, maybe it's best to hang back.

I struggled with exercise, turned to food, and slipped a bit into a bare minimum style of living, where getting through the day and getting home seemed like an incredible triumph.

So a week ago today I took a pregnancy test and it was positive!!! I'm ecstatic. I know it's quite early on in the process but my policy has been to tell many people I'm close to in my daily life. First of all I have absolutely no poker face and second of all if something does happen I would want all the support I can get.

So now begins the joys and challenges of practicing Bikram while pregnant, and just, in general, living while pregnant! I already find it challenging to be in the hot room and notice that because of the increased blood in my system, the increased demands on the heart of pumping said blood, that I get to that heart-slamming place a lot faster than I used to.

I have made a policy for a while of staying out of the front row and kind of minding my own business in the back of the room so as to keep from getting my ego involved in my practice. It's medicine, and it doesn't matter what the poses look like, it's what's right for you on any given day. Blank slate. What does this mean for my practice so far? Sometimes I have to spend a little time in standing bow set up just literally catching my breath. Kicking out in head to knee is optional though I've been doing it (hence the need to catch my breath in standing bow.) The spine strengthening series all I can say is OW OW OW OW! When I'm on my belly. Locust pose I've stopped smashing my breasts with my arms which means I can't get my hands together.

Everything else is still normal.

Teaching... wow. This is where I feel it. I get out of breath and sometimes have to stop talking to catch my breath.

The physiological effects of pregnancy are so fascinating to me. It's like I'm my own science experiment for the next eight months or so. I'm looking forward to blogging about it. I do intend to keep this blog as a yoga blog and I don't intend to turn it into a baby blog or anything. I'm not a big fan of kid blogs because I think it violates the privacy of the child. Who wants to know that mom posted pics of you in the bath when you were little??? Really???

In general I'm grateful for this gift, this experience, and the strength I needed to get through a challenging time. I couldn't have asked for a more positive and awesome conclusion to that chapter and I'm excited for the new story that's just beginning. Namaste all friends.

Morning Viniyoga Therapy for Hips

2010-08-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

I've been doing this great yoga therapy sequence in the mornings. It's from Gary Kraftsow's Yoga Therapy for Hips, Lower back and Sacrum. It's such a great way to wake up.

I go right into the other room where my mat is set up alongside a portable DVD player. The room is nice and big with a high ceilings featuring a pair of skylights and tons of windows with a view onto the green side of our house including the garden.

The series begins supine (on the back) and works in the viniyoga style - which is gentle targeted movements that are timed with the breath. Most poses have two phases - moving in with the inhale and coming out with the exhale. This is so different from your typical yoga approach - get into an asana and stay for a while, calm breath.

The purpose of the 30 minute hip therapy routine is to stimulate circulation around the hips by working the distinct muscle groups of the hips in rounds of poses. I have been practicing this series to work my own hip issues. My left leg is currently .25 inches longer than my right and with the help of Bikram and a chiropractor, I've made progress. Great progress... but have still had this nagging pinching sensation on the left medial illium area.

This yoga therapy sequence is healing me! Not only that, but it's helping me be able to hike - an activity that I've been unable to do for a few years. I'm also learning it from the inside out because I want to teach it. It's not like in my corporate yoga work I can do targeted yoga therapy for individuals. There's no time or money for that. But in these worksite group settings, I'm dealing with inflexible, stressed people in office clothes. So I need to find adaptable poses that aren't too challenging and are close to the floor.

Taking sessions with Gary at a YJ conference was mind blowing to me. Sure, you look at people doing viniyoga and the yoga perfectionist mentality scoffs. Knees bent in warrior two? Spending a half hour on the floor doing yoga in the morning? Really? But the work you do is safe and balanced enough to get deep into the body and heal it through gentle breath-centric movement that increases circulation, keeping what's working working and allowing some easing of tension in other muscle groups.

Anyway, there's this great lunge series I thought I'd share with you.

Stand on the knees, knees hip width apart.

Bring the left foot forward, creating a 90 degree angle with the left leg (left foot under the left knee), both hands on the left knee.

Inhale as you lunge forward, and gently lift the chest.

Exhale and come back out.

Repeat twice.

It's easy, in this part, to really lunge forward and feel the right hip stretch. However what I've learned is that if I don't max out the lunge (which seems to stretch the surface muscles of the hip) and really focus on the chest lift away from the pelvis, you stretch much more deeply into the psoas and hip. Deeper connecting muscles. It feels A-MAZ-ING!!

On the third lunge "in" instead of coming out on exhale you stay for a couple breaths, adding in an arm movement.

Exhale drop right arm to the side.

Inhale lift the right arm to stretch deep into the psoas. If you start to get the nuance of how to stretch deeper into the hip connectors, this arm reach can augment the stretch.

Exhale arm back to the side, repeat twice.

Come out of the lunge, repeat this series on the other side. So you can work this so intensely and deep that you're shaking at the end of the pose. However it's safe for uninjured beginners. They don't quite get the nuance and the set up is a little challenging to their stability, but they will certainly be able to work to the point of feeling something great.

I love it.

With regards to Bikram, every time I'm on the mat right now is really tough. I'm starting the journey of conception and basically it's toying with my emotions a lot, which for me, just makes my Bikram practice so hard. I don't feel I have the fortitude of spirit to even get on the mat a lot, and last week I gave myself the week off - I didn't push myself to practice. I don't feel awesome though - it definitely helps me when I do practice. So my goal this week is to hit the mat four times between today and Sunday. Here's hoping!

Still kickin

2010-08-26T12:47:00.000-07:00

Compliments of Weblo... THANKS!

I'm still makin' it through over here... Have had some medical issues that put me into a place where I was struggling with reality. Some things I've tried are keeping up with my yoga and exercise (to the best of my ability), doing some EFT with a professional, dropping therapy for a while (why force things?) and just trying to relax and appreciate the good things in my life like my hubby.

I'm not in any serious trouble or anything just wishing for things to happen faster than they are. That may give you some clues!

Hope everyone is out there taking great care of themselves and being kind in the mind.

Struggling with acceptance

2010-08-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

Something is going on in my life that is quite difficult for me to accept. I'm asking anyone out there, if you read this, to please send me some prayers of hope and acceptance. Patience, hope and acceptance. Thank you.

A teacher helped me last night

2010-08-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

Setting: The pool.
Task: complete a set I cooked up that's quite challenging

10 x 300 yards
first 200y of each repetition is freestyle (8 lengths), best moderate/quick pace possible
then 100 yards (4 lengths) backstroke, recovery pace
then rest approx 20 seconds

I've only gotten through six passes of this set. I've tried a few times. Swimming 3000 yards is almost two miles so I was willing to work up to completing the set, honoring my joints, as I get my endurance back in the pool.

A guy in the next lane asked me if I wanted to do some workout stuff with him but I declined, as I have declined him in the past. He asked what I was doing and if he could join in (smart guy, eh?) Of course, I said! I had completed 3 x 300 at that point. He is much faster than I am. He basically "paced" me and urged me to swim a bit faster than I would have.

It kicked me up into a higher gear and I powered through numbers 4-7 with him. Then he was off to do some coaching - I swam with the masters swim coach! I had a great time, and after he left, I slogged through the last three repetitions of the set. Not as fast, but I made it.

He encouraged me to come swim with them in the winter - and maybe I will! I'm so proud of this set. It's quite hard and takes real endurance. I can't wait to do it again! The next few times I will just try to complete the whole 3000 yards (1.81 miles). After that, I'll start working the intervals in more concrete times (rather than a loose 20-30second rest at the end.

I couldn't have done it without a teacher's help. I love love love feeling like a student. Being a student. Being helped and supported.

I was a mess on the mat

2010-08-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

Image Compliments of mooseyscountrygarden.com
Last night's class was in the midst of a huge and torrential downpour. The humidity was amazingly high in the studio. Our studio has been closed for a week so I enjoyed my week off from practicing and teaching. For me, Bikram is a practice I will do for the rest of my life. How can I do that? The best recipe for me is to not burn out on it and to learn to be very kind to myself in the practice room.

So when presented with a week off, I took it.

Sunday was the first day back, great class. Teachers don't rush to end right on time for our Sunday morning class, and it's always an exercise in endurance and limitations when even three to four minutes are added to the class! I worked hard, took class from a teacher I haven't had before. Then I spent the day weeding and mulching in my garden. Lovely!

Which brings us to yesterday, Monday. The studio air was thick, it was raining, and it was a steamy class. I'm adopting a modification for some lower back pain - so I'm practicing with my feet apart in pranayama and half moon. Class was difficult for me from the start, and I really struggled during standing balancing poses. Standing bow should really be called wibble wobble or falling bow or something. It's such a challenge for me to stay in it.

My balance was off, and by triangle and separate leg forehead to knee, I was exhausted. I think I even caught myself swearing at the teacher in the floor series - something I haven't done for ages. The floor series was difficult. I couldn't even do rabbit - I had to do the serious modification of hands on the floor.

I felt like a mess on the mat, my head was all over the place, I was getting into and out of poses late and early respectively, but I was doing my best. That much I knew. I didn't have any juice in the tank.

I'm hoping this means that better classes are around the corner - it always does.

My teaching class last night was just packed with dialogue. As someone who teaches at a non-dialogue studio, I have always worried about the dialogue slipping. However I listen to my recording in the car pretty faithfully and last night just spewed it. It came very naturally. Dialogue that still needs work: Standing separate stretching pose (this was one of my easiest at training thus I haven't worked it at home at all), bow pose (really???) and rabbit and separate leg forehead to knee with stretching.

None of it is that bad though. I know what the dialogue points are, it's more a question of order.

Anyway, I was wiped after my class (as opposed to feeling juiced and energetic as I usually do). So... teaching was going to be a challenge. Just add dialogue, watch the clock, and the students had a great class.

Breakfast Cereal Compared - Cereals from Post, Kellogg's & General Mills

2010-08-05T11:39:00.000-07:00

Breakfast Cereal Compared - Cereals from Post, Kellogg's & General Mills

I found this to be a great resource for comparing breakfast cereals!

(If you don't already eat your own colon blow concoction of bulger flax flakes that you ground yourself.)

An incredible concrete result from 30 days of Bikram

2010-08-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

Here are the results

And here's the excerpt. This is absolutely amazing.

I have high blood pressure and diabetes. Bikram's claim to help did meet me with skepticism on my part BUT I have to tell everybody my Blood Pressure has gone from hovering around 170/98 to a consistent 125/75! My doctor was astounded and actually took me off TWO different blood pressure medications I was taking. My daily fasting blood sugar has dropped from 240 to 130! The only think in my life that has changed is 30 days of Bikram Yoga.

I can not recommend it enough, it is a miracle to me. Although my postures are far from great, I try, and that is enough to receive my benefits.

Guest Teaching - I did it!

2010-08-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, so beautiful! Image compliments of Luk Waiho at wedding.lukwaiho.com
I teach all over my state in worksites, however, I had not taught Bikram in another studio until last night! I was quite nervous but of course, things went wonderfully. I ended up with two teachers in my class (the studio owner and an attendee.) It was wonderful and fun. I'm quite proud.

I "brushed up on my dialogue" as Manali would say and taught a strong class. I noticed I was pushing through postures quickly - I ended up a few minutes earlier to the end of the floor series than usual. This was a bonus because I'm usually rushing the final breathing.

For those of you who don't do Bikram, it's taught based on a dialogue (a monologue really) of instructions. The partner in dialogue is the student's body. Though thankfully my studio does not require strict dialogue, some studios do. So I choose to keep my dialogue chops up but also teach in my own style all the time. It's a nice way to balance the purist in me and my creative power.

In my own practice I've actually been... well... practicing in a more consistent manner. It's like I fell back in love with Bikram. It took a while after training. But I'm back - fallen in love.

My Philosophy on... Philosophy

2010-07-23T06:53:00.000-07:00

So there has been some talk recently "out there" in the blogosphere about philosophy and concepts, especially as presented in yoga classes by teachers. (Specifically here and here (no. 2, religion) )

It's got me thinking, as I am both a philosophy major, and thus incredibly drawn to that which lies beyond asana, and a bikram teacher, who teaches a pretty secular yoga class that is heavy on asana, light on concepts. Though I'm a Bikram teacher and practitioner, I'm also a practitioner of Shambhala Buddhism-inspired mindfulness and meditation. So where do I fall in?

When it comes to yoga, I do not personally feel that teaching sanskrit concepts is an authentic representation of my being. Were I to teach the aspects of spirituality that I find most powerful, and, frankly, helpful (utilitarian), I would teach learning to stay via the secular study of meditation.

I feel that the concepts that lie behind both asana and this style of Buddhist meditation are powerful. Further study in these concepts has accompanied the deepening of my asana practice and my meditation study, it's true. However, I agree with Bikram that hours upon hours of physical study (asana, pranayama and meditation) is the best way to advance. The benefits that come of practice are the embodiment of everything the concepts strive to teach us.

For instance, yamas and niyamas which serve as a sort of ten commandments of yoga (thou shalt and thou shalt not), a batch of ethical guidelines... they are wonderful. I subscribe to them fully. However I don't think of them as a personal guidepost. The fact of the matter is that my path of practice has led to the general (and ongoing) purification of mind and body. It's just not possible to practice with regularity and maintain certain habits. For me. As I increase my mindfulness and awareness in my life I am naturally tending to gossip less, be more truthful, be more compassionate, harm less, commit more to that which I believe in, and become less attached to the physical things that surround me. All in degrees, of course. I have not mastered any of this.

Has that come because I think about and talk about the yamas and niyamas? No. It's come about because I practice, and I meditate, and I try to bring mindful awareness to my life (if only to realize that sometimes I'm completely not mindful). I'm not going to get further into the eight limbs of yoga nor the different meditation practices and concepts... I think one example suffices.

So this brings me to explore the case of what it would be like if I did have a platform at the beginning of class to talk about concepts, similar to an Anusara yoga class (which is another style of yoga which I love.) You would most likely find me talking about ways in which to handle that which comes up in the specific practice of asana and even more strongly in the in depth study of meditation. Self-acceptance and honoring of the body we are in right now would be my refrain - because learning to be nice to myself has opened up my ability to bear witness to the world around me from the point of view of the present moment. The only way I could stand the power of the present moment is to learn some sort of inner kindness.

You probably wouldn't find me talking about a sanskrit word, what it means, and how it applies... at least not at first. I have recently purchased a book called Nourishing the Teacher (which is co-written by a local teacher here in Vermont, Anjali Budreski of Yoga Mountain Center, Montpelier VT). It's like the bible of Anusara-inspired lesson plans which are based in yoga concepts applied in real life. The book is quite amazing and I really like it. Should I start teaching a more concept-based style of yoga later, I will certainly be learning from and working with this text.

So I guess this brings me to my point. I feel I teach a philosophy-based yoga (whether in the studio or the workplace.) But rather than the concepts driving the theory, I try to let the practice of practicing drive my teaching and communication. How do you learn best?

Tough class last night

2010-07-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

Last night my studio head taught Bikram - and I rarely get to take class from her.

I think the class was about 95 minutes long (as opposed to 90) and it really pushed my limits. The second set last side of triangle seemed to take an eternity. And she introduced the pose as "we're going to do it Anna's way" so I knew I couldn't drop out of the pose. I just couldn't.

I hung there for what seemed like an eternity!

I am pretty good about honoring my body and my practice and taking breaks when I need to. I use the breath as a barometer and know when I am in my "uh-oh" zone with the breath. However, I also have the strong urge to set a positive example in class of how to work the asanas. This is my edge.

Sometimes that urge to set a positive example allows me to hang for just a second or two longer than I think I can without going into the uh-oh zone, where I'm breathing in and out hard, and without control (though always through the nose).

Pose specifics... I'm finally finding the setup for standing head to knee (yes I said the setup) to be a bit more comfortable. It's always been a really hard thing for me to hold the foot - I think because of my bustiness, frankly. Kicking out, I'm able to hold in the position for much longer, though not ever yet through the entire first set (60 seconds). Elbows down? Iffy... haven't touched the forehead to the knee for some time. I'm more interested in firming up the strength in the setup than that final part.

Standing Bow - I'm moving more slowly and falling out less. But still falling out a lot more than I'd like. (Hello expectations!) I am working hard on the standing leg strength. Also, as I start to come down, I'm thinking about rotating the shoulders around the axis of the upper spine. It's the COOLEST feeling that I discovered a few weeks ago. Every once in a while I get to my max and am able to hold it and work it. My flexibility is miles ahead of my strength in this pose so my goal is to move more slowly to allow myself to hold it longer rather than maxing out and falling out over and over and over.

Toe stand - I fall out every single time. I have short arms and can't touch the fingers to the floor when I walk the hands around. I'm so wanting to balance here! Sometimes I have a glimpse of it.

Cobra - My cobra really feels good and strong. I try to not come out early even when I go up nice and high. Sometimes it feels like FOREVER.

Locust both legs up I'm truly getting the sensation of bringing the weight forward and pushing the chest down. This is getting me more height than ever, though it's not anything impressive.

Really working the stretch in rabbit...

that's where I'm working most right now!

Triangle - I've come to love it!

2010-07-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of 3.bp.blogspot.com
Yesterday morning it was a lovely Sunday morning Bikram class. There were surprisingly few students at the studio. It's usually one of the most crowded classes of the week. I walked in and there was a spot front and center for me, so I took it. I haven't been practicing quite as regularly as I should, so I knew that to work hard and hit my maxes I'd be taxing my system. I made a note to watch the breath very carefully and work on lengthening the exhales, to move slowly, and with intent. That always serves me well.

Lynn Whitlow came to Vermont in June and I learned a lot from her about how to teach triangle. From the setup (warrior II) there is a nice way to go into the pose that seems to work well for students. Let me just say that getting students into warrior II with a nice wide step and the bent leg thigh parallel to the ground is another thing altogether! From a well-aligned warrior II, if you just move the arms, but stay upright, the upper body stays lifted.

From there, you reach the bottom hand down toward the toes and the upper hand up toward the ceiling. The amazing thing is that when you raise your eyes up to the ceiling and turn chin to shoulder - THE SHOULDER IS RIGHT THERE WAITING FOR YOU! The benefit for students to practicing this way is that they don't experience the upper body tipping over and dragging the body frame down. Instead you enjoy a lifted upper body from the beginning.

It's so amazing, and I've been teaching it this way since I saw Lynn. Yesterday in class, as a student, after the first set my teacher asked if I'd demonstrate. I've come a long way with this pose. It really used to be my nemesis and getting down into warrior II was something I thought I couldn't do. Even at training, on the carpet, I could hardly hold both sides both sets more than a few times.

Now I demonstrate triangle. Better yet - I LOVE IT!!!

Moving slowly in the heat

2010-07-09T12:13:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of ichiben.info - get it? A snail? Moving slowly? :)
What is moving with grace for me these days? It's been a period of calm, quiet introspection. I've been practicing but not pushing or straining. I've made it into the pool a few times as well. I'm headed to teach my first class tonight in 1.5 weeks.

There come times when the best thing to do is to "not do." To move at a slow pace. To do the bare minimum and be really glad to have done so. I'm going through a period like that, of calm and quiet, of light practice and effort, of minimal movement and lots of water.

It's hot, it's summer, it's time to enjoy!

I love wildflowers

2010-06-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

I just got a bunch of wonderful seed and spread it... here are images of the flowers I planted.

Foxglove (freefoto.com)

blanket flower (bloomingflowerseeds.com)

asters

and scroll down for the yellow flowers at the head of a post on the front page - the yellow ones are evening primrose.

I love gardening!

My first yoga therapy session (as a teacher) and Bikram

2010-06-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

Image Compliments of thisgardenisillegal.com
I am on my way to becoming a yoga therapist in the viniyoga style. This may take me years - it's quite a long program to become a therapist - a full two years - and there is a stepping stone program as well that I'd need to complete as a prerequisite.

So... it's quite a ways away but I have started working individually with folks in my office. I use Gary Kraftsow's Yoga for Wellness to help me find good types of sequences (ok... so I'm not officially therapying myself yet). I trust his work. Then I identify one to four postures to work with and I'm encouraging them to work on their own - to really "own" the poses. I have two people I'm working with so far - one with recent knee surgery and one who runs and has tight hips.

Yesterday I made it to Bikram after a dentists appointment (out of the frying pan into the fire, eh?) and had a great class. I didn't blow it out because I'd just had oral surgery (filling). But I loved being in the room and practicing. Then I taught a great clear and concise and hard class. Woo hoo!

I just took a break from this post to teach my ergonomic workshop... OVER THE PHONE. I won't be doing that again - it's very disconnected. Luckily I've taught it a few times and have the patter down tight so I have my rights and lefts all secure. It's so important to be really clear. The group is in Vermont with a branch in Arizona so I just spread my worksite yoga beyond the borders of Vermont - first time!

Eat like a Greek for Health

2010-06-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

Image Compliments of Oldways.com
The Mediterranean diet has been shown to lengthen lifespan, combat cancer, protect against diabetes, help you breathe better, and improve rheumatoid arthritis. The summer is a great time of year to experiment with this delicious and healthy style of eating. Visit Oldways (www.oldways.org) for great details and recipes to get you started eating Greek for health.

Bring fruits and vegetables to every meal. Consume whole, unprocessed, and local fruits and veggies when you can. Wash them well.
Next, add beans, legumes and whole grains like: barley, bulgur, whole wheat breads and pastas, buckwheat, wheatberries, rice, and quinoa.
Lean protein is the name of the game with an emphasis on seafood and fish, poultry and chicken. Red meat is an occasional treat, and portions are small.
For dessert, opt for fruits first.

For breakfast, try low-fat yogurt with fruit and nuts, or steel cut oats, or a veggie omelet. At lunch, you can “go Greek” by filling a pita with hummus and stuffing it with fresh greens and vegetables. Another great idea is a salad with olives, nuts, and a lean protein of your choice. Dinner starts with vegetables and grains. Try a new recipe each week (check oldways.org). Pasta with sauteed vegetables and beans or fish is a great solution and is quick to make. Enjoy a glass of wine with dinner in moderation, and a bowl of berries and greek yogurt for dessert.
Refer to the Oldways Mediterranean food pyramid as your guide to going Greek for health.
Source: Oldways, On Health Vol 21 No. 8

Vietnamese Cole-Slaw Type Salad

2010-06-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

This is an amazing salad.
4 large bok choy leaves, rough bottoms discarded, stems cut 1/4" bias and leaves shredded
4 big leaves Napa Cabbage
1 bunch watercress rough chop
1 large carrot cut into matchsticks
leaves from 9 stems each basil, mint, cilantro, rough chop
1/2 small cucumber (I used 2 whole cukes)
a chili, thin sliced (optional)
1/2 cup roasted salted peanuts
grilled protein of your choice

Vietnamese Salad dressing
1/4 cut fresh lime juice
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar (used rice vinegar)
2 tsp soy sauce
1/4 cup fish sauce
1/4 tsp hot pepper sesame oil (just used regular sesame oil)
2 tbsp agave nectar (we used honey)
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp minced ginger
2 tbsp finely diced red onion or shallot

Recipe and Video Compliments of GOOP.com

The ultimate Indulgence - 2 hours of yin yoga

2010-06-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of wikipedia

My studio head teaches yin once a week. I rarely make it to the Thursday 6pm class, but I have been interested in this method, and have started reading up on it on my own. I have Sarah Powers' book Insight Yoga. Last night I did the long form series for stimulation of the kidney meridian. For more on the kidney meridian, click here.

The yin method is opposed to more yang styles of yoga, like Bikram or Ashtanga or even vigorous vinyasa. Yang is all about doing - Yin is all about being. I have had the pleasure of doing my yang work the last two days in the garden. I've been transplanting day lilies all over the place. It is such a pleasure to have gotten my movement in through home improvement! And a deeper pleasure last night to sit down, while my husband worked, for two hours with my mat, blanket and pillows.

Once I worked out a clumsy way to use my cell phone alarm to give me 5-8 minute long countdowns, I settled in to practice. Poses were: Butterfly (like badokanasana but heels away from the groin, and supported), saddle pose, Sphinx, Seal (this one was tough to hold for 4 minutes!), supported forward bend, spine twist, happy baby, and savasana.

I don't have pics of these unfortunately but luckily there is this resource if you are curious. Yin Yoga Pose index It took two hours to get through the sequence holding most everything for at least five minutes. The twists I did 3-5 minutes on a side. I went deep, relaxed, and I'll tell you what - I slept like a BABY for the first time in over a week. We have an oversexed and territorial woodpecker who likes to get drummin' at about 5am these days. We're going to hang some pie plates as deterrents but haven't gotten to it yet. So I was able to sleep from about 10:30 through to 7am. Wonderful.

Vitamin D - gettin' the good stuff!

2010-06-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of http://janezlifeandtimes.wordpress.com THANK YOU IT'S A BEAUT!!

In my life as a worksite wellness practitioner, I write monthly health newsletters and have done so for over a year now. Vitamin D is consistently in the news. There are always vitamin-of-the-year trends (like selenium and vitamin E in the recent past, both of which were shown to be just fads in trials). However, Vitamin D keeps coming up as providing some SERIOUS benefits!

Vitamin D plays a big part in reducing the risk for a great number of diseases: osteoporosis, some cancers, autoimmune infections, and cardiovascular diseases. It's essential for calcium absorption, which is why you see many calcium fortified foods also now contain vitamin D. How do we get this vitamin? Both through diet and exposure to the sun. Did you know that ten minutes in bright summer sunlight provides a blast of 10,000 IU of vitamin D? (We'll get to dosing and IU - International Units - later.)

Blood levels of vitamin D in adults in the US are amazingly low. 77% of adults were shown to have deficient levels in a recent study. Why is this? We're inside more, we wear sunscreen (which blocks vitamin D absorption from sunlight), we don't, in general, eat enough of the foods that are naturally rich in vitamin D, and many parts of the United States don't get strong sunlight year round.

In fact, if you draw a line from San Francisco to Boston, any location above that line gets weak sun for most of the year - exception being the summer. During the fall, winter, and early spring months, the sunlight at our latitudes is not strong enough to provide vitamin D for skin absorption. And... don't get me wrong - I am not advocating tossing your sunscreen either. It protects from many harmful aspects of sunlight, those that can cause skin cancer.

So what are we to do?

The current recommendation is 400IU (International Units) of vitamin D daily. International units are the measure of vitamins and other supplements, and can be found on the nutritional information of all vitamin supplements. Studies are underway to assess whether that 400 IU number is enough. It is projected that the recommended dosage may creep up to 800 - 1000 IU daily for adults. And, for those who have vitamin D deficiency, taking larger doses (like 2000-3000 IU daily) may be needed to boost levels to the recommended amount. Blood tests can determine your vitamin D levels, and check with your doctor before beginning a vitamin d regimen. Signs of vitamin D deficiency are lethargy, muscle soreness and low energy levels, but those may be the result of extremely low levels. You may want to ask for this test next time you get your blood work done.

Standing in the bright summer sun for ten minutes can bring a dose of 10,000 IU in one quick blast! However, we do not recommend tossing your sunscreen. How can you balance this out? You can go outside during mid-day, in the summer, and sit for exactly ten minutes, which is not long enough to give a sunburn. Set a timer to make sure you do not burn! Then apply sunscreen as you would. You'll get the health benefits of vitamin D without the dangers of sunburn and sun exposure over long periods of time.

How do we get vitamin D in the winter in the north?
Dietary sources are tricky. Fatty fish like salmon, herring, and mackerel are rich in vitamin D, especially when the fish is wild, not farmed. In foods that are fortified with vitamin D (milk, orange juice, soy milk) there may be 100IU per serving, which means you have to chug a lot of milk to get a good vitamin d boost.

Which leads us to supplements.
Because sun exposure can be tricky and have negative side effects, and food sources are few and far between, supplements may be for you. I personally take seven seas fish oil and vitamin d3 supplements, along with one or two other things. Vitamin D3 supplements come in many doses, even up to 2,000 IU capsules. Check with your doctor before taking large doses, to see if it's really necessary for you. Who knows - maybe you're one of the 22% of the population with adequate levels of the vitamin, in which case - keep at it!

Vitamin D in the news.
Keep your eyes peeled for the results of this great study that's starting soon. The Vital Study is getting underway testing Omega-3 and Vitamin D3 supplements - together and separately. Omega 3 oils are shown to help cardiovascular health, and the disease fighting vitamin D will be tested as well. Harvard and the National Institutes of Health will be working on this five year study, involving placebos, double blind testing, the works. They're testing people over 65 to see how the supplements affect risk of developing cancer, heart disease, and stroke in people with no history of those conditions.

That's the scoop on vitamin D - keep it in mind next time you get your blood tested. I went to the doctor today and am scheduled to have a full blood panel done - it's been ages since I've even had a primary care doctor, so it's time. I'll let you know how it goes!

Social support means so much.

2010-06-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of myopera.com frogboots365 photo - THANKS!
I just wrote a 14 page single spaced case study on the PATH wellness program in Vermont Schools. I work for PATH, loosely, during the day - yoga teacher by night! So it has been a long and stressful last ten days. Thankfully I am on the other side of it.

Hubby was gone for the weekend, leaving me lots of free time to go to a Bikram yoga seminar with Lynn Whitlow, and to work on the case study, and to teach, all of which I finished by about 2pm on Sunday.

However, as I was slogging it out (writing) and working on my personal yoga practice, I felt a distinct lack of human connection and support. I ended up taking yesterday off because I was so burnt out. I even found someone to cover my class last night so I could stay home and have an evening with my husband. It was so important to have the physical and social and emotional connection with him. It righted my balance so much.

It's not all about doing - work, yoga, exercise, achieving the body you want to have, etc. It's sometimes about being with those you love, and that's all it needs to be.

The posture clinic with Lynn was amazing. I was only there for Saturday because of work, unfortunately, but I got a great dose of serious teaching. I was refreshed in the seriousness of Bikram, as a prescription for health. I will talk more about this in the future... but I wanted to just get back on the blog, post a pic of a peony to honor the beauty going on in my own garden, and to say thanks to my husband for being my partner and my social support, the one who rights me.

Very happy to announce....

2010-06-17T14:54:00.000-07:00

I've been awarded a Wellsphere Top HealthBlogger award! Woo hoo - check out my badge!

Anna Van Fleet

Yoga Community

I'm going to a posture clinic with Lynn Whitlow of west coast Bikram yoga fame this weekend and I couldn't be more excited. Something has happened in my Bikram practice recently. My hips have completely opened up and I'm able to hold the foot both hands in namaskar during tree and I'm able to get up with the upper body in toe stand pose.

I taught a great class yesterday in the worksite, teaching most of a viniyoga routine that has been medically proven in an evidence based study to alleviate low back pain and stabilize that area. The executive director of the organization has been to all of my yoga classes. I'm so proud of them - talk about executive buy in.

I also have created an ergonomics workshop that I've given twice now. Once to a room full of guys! Most of my worksites are more non-profity but this one was all guys. They were good sports and asked some great questions.

Lots going on with work, wellness and yoga and I'm quite busy. I just wrote a proposal for the National Wellness Institute - they're calling for webinar presenters for the fall 2010. Hope I get it. And I'm working on a case study in wellness profiling a group of 19,700 people. It's amazing work.

Back on the Mat - Bikram or Bust

2010-06-12T14:38:00.001-07:00

It's great to be back on the mat. I've taken a bit of time off the blog, getting my head back on straight, and doing a bunch, a BUNCH, of work - teaching in the studio, I led a great ergonomics workshop at a client (will repeat once more Monday and on a conference call to Arizona later next week) and am writing up a case study on wellness at work. Phew!

I finally got back to taking some Bikram classes. I practiced on Monday, Thursday and Friday (and heading tomorrow and Monday) to classes taught by people!!! No more of this practicing Bikram on my own. Well... not as a mainstay. I've decided that after the end of this week I'm not subbing anymore and am just working on getting my practices in consistently.

I don't know why, I can't even believe it, but I was discounting this practice for a little while. I was thinking I was only making "marginal" gains in my body with Bikram and was looking to add some new stuff in. Well, I am going to add some new stuff in, but am going to get 4-5 Bikram classes in as well. The power of the practice escaped me while I was not getting into the hot room with a teacher for a little while. Classes are actually challenging for me right now, first time since training that's happened.

I'm also pushing it to my limits, which often pushes me off balance. For me, when I'm pushing to my flexibility edge, I often don't have the strength to support it for long. However, I know I've made progress by working out there on the edge. On Friday, I worked half moon to full bend, deep backbend (saw the edge of my towel) and am able to hold my face to the legs (even with my large bosom) for a bit and pull up on the thighs. Man does that feel good. Heart pounding from the get go in class.

I want to do more ashtanga work, but I really have a problem with all that forward bending in room temperature. It's no good. The first day I did it in the morning I was sore at the hamstring attachment point top of the thigh. That's dangerous stuff. However in practicing Bikram, I'm all delightfully sore in the heart of the hamstrings, right where you want to be working. The meat of the muscle.

Next weekend great posture clinic with Lynn Whitlow coming. I'm missing a bunch of it - teaching Friday and Sunday morning prevent me from getting there for more than Saturday day but that's fine. Sunday after I teach then practice on my own I'm going to a restorative 2 hr class. I CANNOT WAIT to bliss out. Big week of work, huge draft due Friday, so not much blogging for a bit. Namaste!

First official Mysore practice

2010-06-04T05:33:00.000-07:00

I'm glad I was alone... I don't think it was very pretty - but I did it along with my Richard Freeman video. I made it up to about 90% through the standing series. I didn't stop because I had to, I stopped because I want to ground myself in the basics before moving forward.

Things I DIDN'T get:
- My sun salutations this morning were sluggish and I'm still dealing wtih a wrist injury. I didn't stay up off the hips.

- I didn't have the bandhas. Not for long at least!

- I didn't have the exact breathing, though I did my best on that front.

That said... I am looking forward to doing more. I have to be careful practicing in regular temperature however, as the muscles (especially the hamstrings) are tight. Amazing that this practice is done in the morning!

I'm also looking for tips on working the transition from chaturunga through up dog staying up off the hips.

When we struggle with motivation.

2010-06-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

Motivation. It's such a loaded word. For me, it's associated with a lot of "should's" that seem to float around my brain.

Usually a period of distinct lack of motivation, at least for me, coincides with some events in life. I have had two disappointments in the last two weeks, and am feeling that lethargic feeling that comes with feeling down, and not being terribly active.

My solution to these times of lack of motivation is patience and gentleness to myself. I know that soon enough I will be back in the swing of things, eating in my healthy way, moving in my healthy way, and that to force myself up to that level of activity means not paying tribute to the real me, the actual me, the authentic me.

The authentic me needs time to rest and reflect right now. I will be back, but on my own terms, of acceptance and love.

When one door closes, another opens. Usually a bigger better one. Like French doors with stained glass, right?

2010-06-02T05:56:00.000-07:00

Sadly, this yoga teacher training I wanted to attend has been cancelled. I applied for a scholarship to do social media and blogging to publicize the training. I must say I was really hoping to go. So I found out yesterday there were not enough attendees so they had to cancel it.

This disappointment and my last - the unexpected passing of my dear aunt, have led me to the kitchen. In my past, as I recover from Compulsive Overeating Disorder, I might have gotten junk food to numb out the pain. I did something slightly different this last two weeks. I cooked a fabulous dish definitely serving as comfort food (lasagna last night and brisket two weeks ago). But the difference between bingeing on junk food and cooking a dish that requires time and effort, care and attention, is huge.

I love losing myself in cooking. Especially a complicated recipe like lasagna, where you simmer the sauce, boil the noodles, grate the cheese and assemble.

I will find my way back to my mat this afternoon for a trip to the hot room to do some Bikram. It really has been too long. I'm also dabbling a little bit with home practice and am wanting to dip my toe into ashtanga to work my upper body strength. Unfortunately I tweaked my wrist a little bit ago and am just starting to get my chaturunga back.

When I thought about going to Bali in August, I wanted to do a lot more vinyasa based yoga to get strong in that way as well. So I am going to pursue that goal over the summer, while still practicing Bikram as well. I am giving myself a little time to grieve this small loss before pushing on ahead and trying to practice every day.

Hoping you find love on your mat today.

Grateful! Grateful! Grateful!

2010-05-29T15:12:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of Recreating Eden
I am so unbelievably grateful today - I truly feel as though I have dipped my toes in the river of abundance and it's sweeping me faster and faster toward my goals. And, I have felt recently that the universe is benevolent.

Recently I completed a yoga photoshoot, in order to use pictures that I own for my sequence handout sheets at workplaces. Little did I know what I would hold in my hand when I completed the document, design and all. All the work I do on newsletters, forms, and other marketing materials I generate in InDesign by Adobe has paid off - I have a document that looks great. Truly original! If you would like to see it I would be happy to send you a pdf but it belongs to jointly to me and my employer (they agreed to shared intellectual property). You can see some pics here.

On another note, we have been in an ongoing struggle to replace our failed leach field at my house. The project has dragged on and on... so I finally changed designers. Today our new designer showed up and our excavator uncovered beautiful soil for an in ground system on part of our land. This means - a much cheaper job for sure. In uncovering this soil, we cleared part of our land that we thought we would be waiting years to get to. Now it's all open and I have news that I'm going to be able to easily afford the system, and will have a huge new 1acre lawn bulldozed and seeded with grass by the fourth of July. I cannot believe how wonderfully this has turned out!

When the universe closes one door, another opens. In this case, a beautiful set of french doors with stained glass.

Yoga Photoshoot!

2010-05-27T13:31:00.000-07:00

Well here they are! Some pics from my photoshoot. Hope you enjoy them. More soon - busy day! Click the photo here to see the Picassa Web Album.
"Anna Van Fleet"

Yoga is not just for the skinny minnies out there - yoga has taught me self-acceptance and given me self-esteem as I practice. I continue to gain appreciation for all my body can do in the yoga room, and I carry that out into my life.

I hope these pictures inspire a new generation of yogis and yoginis who understand that we do not all have to look like those in the pages of Yoga Journal to find the path.

Cleanse Day 2 - energy, love and light!

2010-05-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of Appetite of Life
Good day my fine feathered friends. I am just bursting with energy. I cannot believe how amazing I feel - I'm buzzing inside. Yesterday I had herbal tea and water to begin my cleanse and around 2PM I went and shopped for veggies and made juice.

Juice recipe:
2 apple
4 celery
handfull watercress
chunk of ginger (to taste)

This juice is amazing - I loved it yesterday and am having it again today for lunch. For dinner yesterday I did a combo of carrot, celery, tomato, watercress and ginger but that was really nothing to write home about. The juicing thing is quite an art and I do not have the science of the green drinks down yet.

I did one other juice fast in my life and it was all about weight loss and getting ready to get ready for my pending wedding. I reread some things that I wrote about it at that time and realize how backwards my thinking was then. I really wanted to do anything to lose weight then. Now it's all about my health. I didn't even think about weight loss as a motivation to do this cleanse (but I'll take it if it comes.)

I was acting out of fear then, fear of my weight, of looking bad in pictures, etc. I have grown so much since then. I have gone through therapy for my Compulsive Overeating Disorder (COE) and have become a yoga teacher. I have followed my passions and my life has opened up so much.

So this time around, I'm juice feasting for health and wellness. I can feel such a difference.

Because I have a strong Bikram practice, I was also able to practice and teach a class running on nothing but fresh juice. I would not encourage a first time student to do anything like that. However I know myself and my body and I was able to do it. I had a coconut water between and made it through no problem. I feel happy and adjusted and have none of the fears I did in my last juice fast - I have no fear of sitting and drinking juice with people when they are eating, for instance. I'm also not stuffing myself with juice - I'm making good amounts, diluting with water, and trusting my body to tell me when it's ready for more. Result: I feel positively buzzing with light and energy! Amazing.

Cleansing Day 1

2010-05-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of Joanne Tucker at http://joanne-tucker.artistwebsites.com/ beautiful flower paintings, check them out!
Today is day 1 of my cleanse. There are numerous reasons why it's the right time to cleanse. I'm adding in a lot of yoga, fresh juices (time to dust off the breville!), teas and broths for a while and will end as it's time to end.

My body is crying out for a break - some introspection - and some time to reflect as it warms up here in Vermont. My recent trip to New Orleans and the passing of my aunt have put me into a cycle of comfort food that's not doing me any good. It's one of those things that really perpetuates itself - the reaching for comfort.

I'm working with Pema Chodron's Getting Unstuck lectures as well.

The teachings tell us that there is suffering.

There is dissatisfaction and frustration. Often nothing seems to go right. There really is a wound. But it is not necessary to scratch it. Working with addictions is about not just impulsively grabbing for something to stop the itching, not just grabbing for something to fill up the space, not giving in to this impulse to feel okay and just to get comfortable as soon as possible.

When we scratch the wound and give into our addictions we do not allow the wound to heal. But when we instead experience the raw quality of the itch or pain of the wound and do not scratch it, we actually allow the wound to heal. So not giving in to our addictions is about healing at a very basic level.

It is about truly nourishing ourselves.

So... these are the teachings I am working with through the end of this month as I add lots of healing and introspection to my daily life... and leave behind some of the things that are clouding up my vision.

Last night preparing for bed, I did a very nice sequence. The yoga poses (without meditation and pranayama) are going to be used in a wellness program I work with for the purpose of preparing the body for rest. I must say they left me feeling clear and relaxed.

1) Restorative Seated Forward Bend
Sit, propped up by a blanket or two under the hips if needed, with legs wide open, and bring a chair or prop onto the mat. Lean forward to place the forehead gently on the chair (use something soft if you need to.) There should be no effort in keeping the legs open and straight so do as much as is right for your body type. (Extremely tight hips? Open the legs as much as is comfortable and put rolled blankets under the knees.) Relax in this position, eyes closed, for a full 3 minutes. Allow the body to twitch and move and settle.

2) Sphinx pose
On belly, place forearms on the floor, shoulder width apart, palms down, fingers facing forward. Lift head and upper body up to assume the pose of the sphinx. Upper arms should be perpendicular to the floor, chest up, neck relaxed. Add depth to this position by pulling the palms gently toward you on the floor. No need to move the hands or arms, just feel what that slight pull on the floor does to open the chest. Remain until physical fatigue sets in then change... should be a minute or so.

3) Child's pose with a block to support the forehead if necessary - hold 1-3 minutes.

4) Dvipida Pitham (Pelvic raises, dynamic with the breath)
On the back, feet planted on the floor, heels close to the hips, palms down. On inhale, raise hips up to maximum, drop chin to chest to stretch the back of the neck. On exhale, lower the hips down as you gently unwind the spine vertebrae by vertebrae. Celebrate the looseness and relaxation in the lower back. Repeat 3-5 times or more if you're loving it.

5) Supine twist
On back, bring knees up into the chest. Arms out to the sides, palms down, keeping knees together, lower knees toward right elbow. Rest keeping or trying keep both shoulders on the floor, space and extension in the lower back (think left hip away from left shoulder.) Look left if your neck is not tweaky. Relax. Perform twist to the left, then repeat both sides. Take your time.

6) Savasana

7) Meditation on the breath 3-5 minutes

8) Alternate Nostril Breathing Alternate Nostril Breathing for 3 minutes or until the feeling of clarity in the sinuses and lungs is achieved (I don't advise going on and on forever here! This is powerful stuff.)

Sleep...

Enjoy

Rebuilding, getting the feet back on the ground, grief

2010-05-21T06:44:00.001-07:00

I lost a member of my non-immediate family this week after returning from vacation. Needless to say I'm struggling to get my feet back on the ground - it was very sudden. I'm hoping to be back in blogging and practicing form soon. I teach for the first time in a while tonight, I'm hoping that pulls me back up a bit as it usually does.

Kapotanasana and backbending

2010-05-11T06:52:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to write about the practice I had on Friday before I taught. I did 30 minutes of lower back work viniyoga style - lots of hip raises, hip stretches, cakravikasana, vimanasana, supta badokonasana and supta padangustasana.

Then moved into some sun salutations, just trying to get the repetitions in. Sun salutations are a new part of my practice and I'm really working on the jump backs and jump forwards and keeping off my hips when I come up to upward dog.

I then did the practice that I've been waiting to retry - backbending up and down the wall. I was alone in my studio so I went very slowly. I set up my mat perpendicular to the wall. Rested in Wheel prep pose, then pushed up. I walked my feet in a bit, looked at the wall, and placed the first hand there. Then you walk up and kind of drift over the top in this daring moment, then you're on your feet!

I placed a block beside my mat to mark where my feet were. It always feels like a long way to drop back. It's really the scary part. However when I was little I dropped back into backbends no problem so I know that even if I went down, I'd be ok. So... I stood in prayer and rested while the blood shifted all around. YOu can hear this "whooshing" sound and sensation while going up and down that's for sure. Hands in prayer, extended up tall through the upper back.

I moved the eyes back and stood backward leaning, getting tall, breathing, and connecting with calm energy. Then looked back at the wall and brought my hands out to the side and reached back - WALL! Then I walked back down. I went up and down four times! At the end I did get a little tired and ended up not pressing up into wheel and kind of coming down on my head but it wasn't that bad. I should have stopped before that happened though.

Lastly, I tried a backbend I really want to be able to do - Kapotanasana.

Image Courtesy of beatayoga.com

I went back and got my hands on the ground. I tried this twice, just getting the sensation of the backbend. I also tried Laghuvadrasana, which is the ashtanga pose that comes with Kapotanasana. THat's a really hard one! There's about a six inch gap between where I want to be (head on floor) and where my strength holds out. If you go further than where your strength is, you collapse down onto the floor. Learned my lesson on that one.

Anyway the deep backbend practice was wonderful - but I'm struggling these days to get my Bikram in. I need that as a base and to add all this stuff on!

However, I'm off to New Orleans for a week and will not be terribly yoga focused. I am going to try to do some bathroom Bikram and even visit a studio down there. Have a great week everyone!

Balinese art, yoga, and most beautiful peaceful scenes

2010-05-07T07:14:00.000-07:00

This video contains some of the most amazing images I've seen. Just watching it was like an eight minute vacation while sitting at my desk at work! Bali is an Indonesian nation which has a very interesting population - Bali contains the majority of Indonesia's Hindu population. However it is a Buddhist-inspired and Javanese-influenced version of Hinduism, one of the major tenets being that all gods and goddesses (many in Hinduism) are expressions of a single supreme deity or being. What a perfect place to practice yoga indeed.

Bali is known as an enchanted place, where the native population is peaceful and restful, and the surroundings awe inspiring. I particularly love the rich reds, golds and blues in the ornate finery you see in this video during a mass cremation ceremony, where a dragon effigy is burned as well and the smoke rises through the trees. The flowers - the lotus flowers - some of the most sculpted and delicate flower images I've ever seen are in this video. Makes my daffodils quake in their boots I'll tell you what!

Take a trip with a cup of tea and this video... You'll love it.

Blowin' in the Wind with Vrksasana (Tree Pose)

2010-05-06T13:52:00.000-07:00

Image compliments of http://muselan.typepad.com/studieswithlaura... as well as the idea for this post.

I did a little run through of this pose in my dining room waiting for a friend to come over. The windows are open and a strong storm and accompanying wind are whistling and whipping about outside. It was a great experience. Coming up into the pose I'm reminded of this little quirk I have in this pose - I love having my foot on skin above the knee on the inside of the leg (rather than placing my foot on pants.) It increases my feeling of stability.

I haven't practiced this version of this posture for a while, because I do the Bikram style pose in class most often, with sole of the foot facing the ceiling instead. It's been a while since I settled into tree pose! Picking up to balance first on my right leg, I felt what I feel so often in my balancing postures. A small foot weaving back and forth on the floor, between keeping the big toe down firmly, and being pulled out to the outer edge of the foot due to strong external rotation in my hips. In the Bikram studio, this sensation doesn't seem to correlate to anything besides... well, balancing - but in the dining room with the storm whipping around outside, I actually felt myself as a tree blowing in the wind.

With arms in front of chest in prayer, I got my legs strong, inner thigh firm. Then worked on lifting the rib cage up to avoid collapsing into the hips. I stretched the cervical spine up and relaxed the chin. As I do this frequently in my Bikram practice, it seems like a tiny release of the neck, a slight tuck of the chin, and I can feel the cervical spine extension. It's like gaining an inch. That's huge when it comes to spine lengthening!

Arms go up and the drama begins. As I move calmly into this expression of the pose, my abdomen and core muscles naturally firm to help me balance. Now THIS must really be what a tree feels like swaying in the wind! So much more length, so much more to control. I marvel at the fact that my core muscles were pretty relaxed in the first phase of the pose (arms down).

Resting between legs, I feel the inevitable, "That was fun! Other side! Other side! and the ego enters the conversation wondering if I'll be able to do it "as well" on the other side (read: not fall out). Standing with legs together I'm much more tuned into the natural weight shifts that go on in standing. I connect with the tree in the wind feeling, but feel much more rooted.

I captured most of my sensory experience with the first side. Though my second side was different of course, not much more to report. What I noticed is that my left foot, which I've nursed back from an injury that's lasted years, tends to grip more with the toes for balance. Consciously relaxing that tendency allows me to press the ball of the big toe down into the floor, increasing balance. I really felt the energy increase as the arms went up, then loved that settling-back-in yummy, comfortable feeling of bringing the arms back down to the chest.

Mix and Match Yoga

2010-05-06T06:39:00.000-07:00

image courtesy of ant217 on flickr
I have had a fun time in the last 24 hours practicing yoga! Yesterday I taught two classes for a client, and today I get to teach one in the opposite part of the state as well. After I got home yesterday I was going to hit Bikram at the studio but it was so beautiful outside! I thought of writeouschick on twitter who practiced outside recently and thought to myself, hey that sounds like a great idea!

I brought my mat and little dvd player outside to the deck, along with some ice water. First I did the lower back therapeutic sequence from my Gary Kraftsow Viniyoga DVD. I'm trying to treat some pain I have with this sequence, because I think one of the best ways to become a therapist is to practice on oneself. Feeling relaxed and loose after that, I changed gears.

Shiva Rea's Yoga Shakti Solar Flow 2 sequence was next. I'm really trying to work on my upper body strength. Thus, I need to get my sun salutation/vinyasa strength up. Bikram is great, but the returns I'm getting are more in the fine tuning area. However when I do a vinyasa based practice, I feel so much work happening for my upper body, a place where I'm notoriously lacking in strength. It's hard to move a body that's overweight through sun salutations. Well, it is if you want to keep your hips up off the floor as you transition to upward facing dog. Shiva Rea moves so fluidly while breathing so easily. Her breathing pace is way different from mine - I'm breathing about twice as fast as she is to do the same amount of work, which throws off the vinyasa rhythm a bit. However, working through handstand (only did setup and some kicks, I didn't want to kick through one of my windows!) some really nice backbend prep work and full wheel variations, etc.

I was hoping to do some backbending up and down the wall after that but ran out of time. I'm hoping tonight is the night for beginning that practice. Coming soon next week... I'm off to New Orleans for a week! Yay!

A beautiful evening

2010-05-05T05:50:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I went to work together yesterday for the first time in quite a while - thanks to my car being in the shop. It was such a nice way of beginning our evening together. We got home and relaxed in the living room, watching a storm roll in.

I wish I had some images to share with you because it was magical. We have a view from a number of big windows out over a bit of a valley and up a wall of mountains with sky lining the top. We are on one side of the valley about a third of the way up. As the storm threatened, the sky was many shades of black and gray. At war. Huge darker patches made a domineering backdrop to what you might usually consider the darkest colored storm cloud.

A wall of rain came over the mountain ridge. We could see it moving at a blistering pace swallowing everything in its path. From our perspective, the rain wall moved horizontally across our view - we got to see it march down the mountain.

The rain came, dashing first lightly on the sky lights then pounding, deeper, deeper, deeper, until tick! tick! tick! Tiny balls of hail rained down on the skylights and the deck, where they melted immediately. A few minutes of storm and the epicenter moved through, thundering and flashing light once, which I missed because I was petting a cat.

The sky changed again and a fuzz of orange light just over the ridgeline reminded us that indeed the sun was still there through the fog and rain. And as a few seconds passed, the most glorious sun emerged - shining brilliantly directly in our faces through the raindrops shimmering on the trees. A mist literally danced down the hill across the valley from us, breaking into three small mists being batted around by the mountain's fading foothills.

We sat in wonderment - will we ever see a light again like this? Maybe never. We looked out a side window for the rainbow that had formed, found it, and went back to sharing the play by play of the mist dancing around.

I thought I would share a moment that reminded me of Bikram's first lecture at my teacher training: Yoga is everything.

Feelin' the burn

2010-05-04T05:56:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a great class. I decided at the beginning of class to really work my abdomen and endocrine system in class (some hormonal imbalances are plaguing me right now.) Boy did I work hard, you know the kind of class when you go for padahastasana and you're like dripping sweat. Every muscle contracted... etc. I found last night that my backbends I was doing to prepare for the photo shoot changed my postures slightly. I'm going to try to pick up a practice that more serious yogis do... the backbending up and down the wall before class. I've tried it a few times. It can be scary to drop back that's for sure. However, I felt change in my body and I know from a posture clinic wtih Esak Garcia that the best way to change your postures is to backbend - open up the spine. Anyway I'm feeling wonderful from that class last night. Like the body is afire.

It's strange how you have a rockin' awesome full of effort class and you wonder... have I been slacking off recently? No, not really. But when you blast one out like that you know there is always more to give. That's why Bikram rocks. There is always progress to be made!

Morning linkies anyone?

Some fit sugar stretches for tight hips - eagle reclining twist, ardha matsyandrasana, and double pidgeon. I like these - they're pretty advanced for tight hips though. I'd start myself with pelvic raises, regular pidgeon, and this one which doesn't have an official name that I know of - (anyone know if it has a name?)

pondering yogini asks, what female superhero are you?
To be honest, I am not exactly up on my comic books, though I have recently had a renaissance of sorts with some old cartoons I used to watch - specifically Thundercats, GI Joe, and Transformers. In honor of that... I'm going with two of the ladies from these shows.

Cheetara from Thundercats and Scarlet from GI Joe.

And, back to yoga for this beautiful post for teachers.
Learning to accept a student who shows consistent effort but little "improvement" in the art of postures. This is especially applicable in Bikram as everyone in the room wants to improve their postures. A counter to this in my own experience is a great guy who's a regular in my class who just took his tenth class last night. The change in his postures has been incredible. From beginning to end of his first ten class card - the difference is amazing. Last night in locust he busted out this beautiful lifted leg with toes pointed. It looked like a ballerina's point. He's doing so well.

I think the heat allows things to open up at an accelerated rate in the hot room, which is why people's bodies really do change a lot practicing Bikram regularly.

Yoga Notes... and Congrats LZ!

2010-05-03T05:55:00.000-07:00

Firstly - LZ CONGRATULATIONS! You won in an exciting drawing performed by my hubby last night, on the couch, with a laptop and an internet random number generator. See yesterday's comments from "hubby" on the giveaway post. How cute is he??

I'm hoping to start a regular feature - a sort of morning round up if you will of some blogs that I follow. Hope everyone had a restful and nourishing weekend. I saw a friend I haven't seen for about fifteen years and it was like no time had passed at all. I believe the lesson I continue to learn with friendships is that I have many wonderful friends from my past who will make my life fuller as I find and reconnect with them.

An interesting twist on food journaling - writing down not just what you do eat, but what you crave and pass up. I'm intrigued!

A meditation mantra and photos for gaining spiritual, emotional, and yes, even material wealth - in order to help others.

J's awesome TT blog... no need to say more.

via shinyyoga.blogspot.com this amazing story about compassion in the real world. Not always pretty.

Photo shoot complete

2010-05-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

Photo shoot, teaching and practicing yesterday... I'm a sore puppy. I'll have the pictures in a few weeks.

Happy Blogiversary! A giveaway for followers!

2010-04-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of http://kedarphotography.wordpress.com

Many thanks. Today is my blogiversary!

Last year I started this blog as the dream of attending Bikram Yoga Fall Teacher Training 2009 materialized in my mind. Teaching yoga is something I knew I wanted to do from the first moment I sat down to stretch with a book I received as a gift – The Supple Body http://www.amazon.com/Supple-Body-Fitness-Strength-Flexibility/dp/0028604415. I learned the routines and practiced them on a family trip to China for three weeks. As we cruised along the Yangtze River I awoke and stretched on the upper deck of the boat, watching the fields go by. The air was murky, the water a churning yellow, and the landscape serene in the morning sun. The quiet and calm of purposeful stretching inspired an introspective mental state that felt like home to me. That was in 2000.

As the spring Bikram teacher training gets under way, I reflect on all the changes in my life since I made that decision to go to training last fall. It was a grueling experience and I am indeed fireproof (as Bikram would say) for having come through it. I am pleased that trial-by-fire training was my first. I will teach lots of yoga in my lifetime, only some of it being Bikram. Not everyone is ready to step into the hot room. I will go to them; I believe in the power of practicing and learning about one's own body. In my opinion, everyone needs to experience the vessel through which they experience life - in an intimate and personal way. Yoga is the method I use for that work (any yoga butt that ensues is a definite plus ha ha).

My goal as a teacher in the workplace and in the studio is to be a model of self-acceptance in the practice of yoga. I strive to practice patiently with a good attitude and a smile, whether I'm falling out of standing bow for the umpteenth time or doing restorative practice surrounded by pillows. I have fulfilled a life long dream and my life is much fuller for it.

I'm giving away a fabulous prize to express gratitude for my blog followers. Thanks swankysoothers (on Etsy.com)! I got one for myself too. Hey - it's my blogiversary - I can relax if I want to.

These awesome 100% organic wraps are made with flaxseed and rice for ultimate heat therapy! They are lightly scented with soothing lavender chamomile and smell sooo great! They are made with swanky, designer fabric- you will look good while relaxing :)! Can be used hot or cold. To heat just warm in the microwave in 30 second intervals (they come with instructions). Eye soothers can be warmed for 1-2 minutes. Eye measures approx. 3x10. Flaxseed is great for retaining heat and moisture and giving a calming effect. Rice is also great for retaining heat. ****lavender and chamomile create a calming and soothing scent, great for right before bed!****

Here's the deal :

If you are a PUBLIC follower as of 5/1/10 at 12am
You live in the USA (shipping costs, people!)
Please leave a comment in this post asking to be entered to win the eye pillow
Make sure I have an easy way of emailing you or contacting you either through your blog or profile.

I will do the drawing this weekend by letting my hubby pick a name out of a hat. I'll contact the winner by next Monday. My family members are not eligible to win.

Thanks for reading. Here are some linky treats for you!

A really cool guide to mudras. I don't know much about hand positions for meditation. I liked this guide.

http://anmolmehta.com/blog/2010/04/26/yoga-mudras-free-illustrated-how-to-guide/

A long and in depth article about teaching yoga to treat low self esteem

Yeah Dave on Big Round, Hefty and Sexy
These pictures of Iceland's Blue Lagoon are incredible. Breathtaking.
http://peaceloveyoga.blogspot.com/2010/04/vist-to-blue-lagoon-relaxing-magic.html

My blogger skills aren't great right now I know these links should be renamed and "hidden" but I guess I still have more to learn. Always!

Thanks readers and friends for being with me on this fabulous journey.

When the universe says "try it another way" what do you do?

2010-04-27T08:28:00.001-07:00

The Universe wants me to try it a different way. This morning I was about five minutes late running out the door. Trying to prep for a headshot first, but also have all my yoga clothes, props, shot list, etc ready to go. Hence, I was five minutes late and feeling that urge to make it up on the roads.

I was going about the speed limit in a construction area where they had pulled up pavement recently and POP goes the tire. Thankfully there was a place to pull over right there. I spent about ten minutes trying to do what seemed like fifty things on my phone at the same time, resulting in an increase of "have to fast" energy. You know, the kind of energy where you rev everything up - mind, heart, body, tension, blood pressure and circulation too I'm sure.

I made arrangements to cancel the shoot, cancel my two yoga classes for work tomorrow which are about 1.5 hours away, and get AAA on the way. Really, the way I got myself worked up... you'd have thought something much more serious had happened. I was very lucky - close to home and husband's work, relatively close to the tire shop, and my day job is very pleasant and understanding. Everything was and is fine... the shoot has been rescheduled for Friday. I actually got to talk to the photographer a bit once I calmed down. She is a friend of a friend and so I didn't do a lot of in depth planning with her - she got my shot list and sample photos of most everything yesterday. I think the job will be a bit bigger in scope than we planned so I'm happy to have talked with her a bit. I think it will go better Friday than it would have today.

So... this brings up quite the feeling of wonderment within me. Here I am, just cruising along, planning, planning planning, then executing. I'm very methodical and detail oriented. I spent yesterday planning for the shoot and had all my ducks in a row. I pride myself on accurate execution - good planning means things are done on time, on budget, etc. So one tire goes and it sent me into a place where I have tons of tension in the body to unlock. As my husband was driving me home from the tire shop, I had the urge to scream. I don't mean a high pitched girl-sees-mouse-in-the-fifties scream. I mean a power scream from the alto range. Nothing but rage.

When reality disagrees with my expectations I have deep patterns. I have worked a lot on this in the past few years, but apparently it's still there - probably will always be there, just have to work on how I recognize it first, then handle it. So I'm relaxing and unwinding, appreciating the rainy day in my living room with my kitties abounding. Since I did a blasting hard Bikram practice at 6am to open up my body and get loose before the shoot, I'm going to relax today for sure!

Thanks from the deepest part of me for your support about the photo shoot. It's going to happen! And with all the kind words, I'm feeling great about "putting myself out there." Namaste friends.

A photoshoot tomorrow

2010-04-26T05:56:00.000-07:00

Hi friends! Here's some campanula to start your day courtesy of All Posters.com.

I'm quite excited today and a bit nervous. I am doing a photoshoot tomorrow to capture some of the poses that I teach in the workplace so I can make up sequence sheets with non-pirated images. Most of what I teach in the workplace is very low impact - viniyoga moves, and gentle yoga. Things that can be detrimental to yoga for beginners in the workplace: weight bearing moves, balancing, strenuous or deep stretching, and vigorous pace. Instead, the focus is on movement and stretch while keeping the body as safe and relaxed as possible.

A big focus of this session will be on capturing low impact moves. I will however stick in a few more advanced postures just because I'm not sure when I'll have this opportunity again!

Which brings me to my very human admission of some body issues coming up as I prepare for the photo shoot. To be honest, I feel less-than as I look at beautiful long-limbed lean yogis online doing perfect sun salutations. My husband and I talked about this, and he said, what's the spirit you're bringing to this?

My answer is this. Self-acceptance and emotional growth are the basis with which I mark progress in my personal practice. Not the perfection of asana. I may carry extra weight as a result of my battle with and subsequent and ongoing recovery from compulsive overeating disorder, but I am strong and I am proud of all my body can do for me.

The decision to share some photos with the online community and with my students around my state in workplaces is a kind of coming out, a kind of acceptance of myself, a marking of a point in time, as I continue to grow and change.

So... I'm hoping to have some cool stuff coming up and I am excited and nervous, but I know I'm heading in the right direction. I can feel it. We shall see how the pics come back!

Home Practice: Asana to Savasana

2010-04-23T05:17:00.000-07:00

Image Courtesy of Jar0d on flickr

This is a substitute for a pic I took of my daffodils yesterday that's still on my camera.

This morning I woke up early with hubby. Really early. I made myself some parsley ginger mint green tea and did yoga while it steeped. I have begun my exploration of Gary Kraftsow's lower back, hip, and sacrum series. I'm trying to learn it and get it "in my body" so I can teach it.

Viniyoga is so interesting. Most "postures" are two postures in one - one movement to be completed on the in breath, and another movement on the out breath. I'll talk more at length on this subject in the future - it's one of the main tenets of viniyoga. The first series on the DVD is 23 minutes long. I toyed with it yesterday afternoon, and instead of doing three of every movement (timed with the breath) I opened up the practice to six of each movement.

By the end yesterday I was working so hard - lying on my back in my yoga room, doing seemingly "easy" poses - truly working within in my body to increase circulation in the lower back by moving slowly, with control, and with the breath. (Ujjayi breath for anyone who cares) Boy did I feel the "work" aspect of the practice!

This morning I was up early and knew it was the perfect time for an exploratory, moderate practice while my tea steeped. I did six minutes of Sat Kriya Pranayama breathing, then I did the viniyoga lower back hip and sacrum therapy series, moderating the range of motion in the movements, deepening my attention to the sensation of the breath. Low and behold, as I moved slowly and rested fully between each posture, I felt amazing shifting going on in my lower back and hips.

It reminded me how much we must take the time to soak in our yoga practice, not just gut it out and practice. Asana to Savasanaas they say. Asana being posture (where there is typically most of the emphasis), Savasana being the corpse pose, lying on one's back, palms up, receiving benefits and resting between postures. Moving with the breath and taking the time to rest and reflect between the postures allowed for movement, and healing. I could feel my left piriformis muscle release finally, then feel the left adductor tense up. I could feel the layers of this chronic tension release. After the adductor released a bit later I could feel all these little muscles in the left hip, shoulder, and if you'd believe it - my lower lip - all this lateral tension in the body melted away.

During savasana, I relaxed completely and tried to let the body breathe me, instead of trying to breathe. It's a strange sensation but the body will breathe on its own - you don't have to be out in front of it as it were. It's an amazing softening that comes with relaxing the breathing mechanism deeply. Now that's balance. I got up with extreme excitement and hoping that the early light of summer helps me wake up and do this practice more often.

I will write more about effort soon. Sometimes we must take things down a notch to experience true healing.

If you made it this far, linky treat for you! I really enjoyed this post recently.

Practice, practice, practice.

2010-04-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

The Bikram teacher training is starting again, and it's bringing up a lot of feelings for me as I just completed the last training this fall. I remember what I learned about any issues that came up for me then - practice, practice, practice. I have been a little like a wandering puppy who wants to wander away, but needs to come back to the Bikram studio where my newspapers are, so I can stay "on track." How many metaphors can you mix? I can mix a lot at a time!

It's such a beautiful thing, really, to go into the studio and work it out. With a Bikram practice, it's same series each time. It does truly turn into a moving, open-eyed meditation. Yesterday I was thankful for our studio's renewed focus on explaining a locked out knee - that it's not just pushing the knee back to its full range of motion but squeezing the heck out of the thigh of the standing leg, pulling up on the kneecap.

I fell fewer times that usual in standing bow. And I added in some viniyoga at the end to help loosen up my back and hips. So much external rotation and "contracting the thighs" is detrimental to my body without requisite balancing.

Taking Yoga for Granted

2010-04-21T10:07:00.001-07:00

This morning I was debating what to do after work. Yoga is my standard on Wednesdays but the last few weeks it has been unseasonably warm and we've gotten a jump on some outdoor tasks in the afternoons. Sometimes that results in a workout, sometimes it does not. All the time it results in body conditions that need to be "undone" by yoga (like bending over, lifting, and reaching.)

It took about a heart beat for me to get my yoga clothes together. I was dragging a bit though. I realized - I'm so lucky - I just have to show up! I get to practice for free at my studio, with a great fun teacher who's class I haven't taken for three weeks or so... How can I take this for granted! It's a day that I don't have to teach after I take so I can actually rest in savasana, and do some pigeon pose to work on some hip tightness I am experiencing. I'm really looking forward to class now!

This morning I was up a little early so I transcribed the yoga sequence from the Gary Kraftsow DVD for acute lower back issues - stabilization and rehabilitation. I'm going to practice it a bit (quite a bit) and really get it under my fingertips so to speak to be able to teach it at worksites.

In addition, I'm designing a help go to sleep protocol (brief yoga series) for a PATH Adventure. I work for PATH (actually a sister organization) and our next health action plan is going to be for sleep. So I'm designing the series! Anything help you get to sleep?

A Mini Getaway

2010-04-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

If you have three minutes and can close your eyes... you can enjoy a mini getaway at your desk!

Plant your feet, and move your hips toward the edge of your chair. Chest up toward the ceiling, and there you are - sitting with great posture. Pick up your hands and drop them onto your thighs to help relax the arms.

If you've heard anything about meditation, you might have heard something about "turning off the thoughts" and "just focusing on the breath." Well that is a difficult and confusing thing to do! The mind thinks. That's what it does. That's its job! So for a quick toe-dip into the world of meditation, try working with a simple phrase repeated continuously. This serves to tie up the energies of the mind while giving you a break, and the chance to feel yourself breathing.

Palms up on the thighs, return to your attentive position, and close your eyes. Wait! You have to finish reading this first, I guess!

Try repeating this phrase over and over. You can do it with the breath, or at whatever pace feels good.

JUST THIS

Repeat this neutral phrase, eyes closed, with relaxed shoulders and jaw, for three minutes. Experience bliss!

Turn up the Heat

2010-04-20T05:46:00.000-07:00

Last night I practiced hard. It was great. It's not that I don't normally practice hard. But yesterday I was in the zone and was working every posture during class. I am beginning to feel something of a six month itch, I think. My six month anniversary from coming home from training is coming right up! I have the urge to do a 30 day challenge sometime this spring - probably after I get home from New Orleans.

My goals in class right now are to really really try to hold standing bow without falling out. I fall out so much that I know I'm not getting the effects of the posture in my body a lot of the time. So I'm really, really trying to hold it. Most of this has to do with (duh) the standing leg. When the muscles are burning, you're so present with the body. A momentary lapse of attention and the leg loses stability. I have a nice deep bow - good flexibility, but need the strength and stability to hold the darn thing!

I also want to use my core muscles more in standing head to knee. Well, there's a lot about the standing leg I want to work in this pose too. I am prone to external rotation in the hips so it feels like I'm always being pulled outwards. These are the goals, it seems to me, ongoing!

The Bikram series is so amazing. It's continually a place to work. In other news, the scholarship I'm applying to in Bali (teacher training, viniyoga style) at www.YogaTrex.net is pretty much good to go - I've submitted most of my materials and a marketing plan and now I sit back and wait. I would love to be a social media ambassador for this training. The thought of Bali is with me always - and it's alive on my desktop a click away... all day long.

Bikram as a Voluntary Practice

2010-04-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the yoga closet I had a pretty amazing practice. I love practicing with Bikram's CD because having the boss cajole you into the standing series postures is something I downright enjoy. Also... I need help and motivation to stay in my standing poses long enough to continue to gain strength.

When I hit the floor I just did not change the CD. I worked with the breath, the dialogue in my mind, and held different postures for different lengths. In many styles of yoga, the goal is really a daily personal practice, where there is no teacher spewing information - it's more about listening to the body and following the breath.

I love Bikram, but if restorative yoga burned as many calories, I'd be there in a heart beat. I adore restorative yoga and a slower pace. You can still work very intensely and deeply with adaptive yoga. So I took that spirit to my floor series yesterday, though I was moving to my maximum in the postures. It was so lovely, sinful, like red velvet cake, to practice Bikram quietly and at my own pace, holding, feeling the breath, stretching, and coming back to rest. How joyful.

I want to note to my friends out there in the Bikram blogosphere that I am going to be generating more non-Bikram specific content on this blog. I hope you stay with me! I want to start chronicling some of my other yoga stuff and health stuff that I do for work and professionally. I'm just all about yoga and want to open access to these wonderful teachings to people who are not yogis yet. Hence outing myself on my blog and joining twitter and all kinds of stuff. I appreciate your support and feedback always.

Five ways to sneak yoga into your day.

2010-04-16T06:29:00.001-07:00

We don't always get to practice. In fact some people spend years thinking about practicing yoga before they even try it! So if you're a newbie or an oldbie everyone could use a bit more yoga in our lives.

1) Head to the Bathroom.
What??!!? No really. The bathroom, in many workplaces, is the only place you can go to make funny faces, floss, stretch, do EFT, or a little bit of yoga. Guys - find a stall!

2) Rock out - in Mountain Pose
Plant your feet, hip width apart. Make the knee joint soft, not locked. Relax the butt - no tucking under here. Lift up out of the waist, imagine someone pulling your hair up to the ceiling, and stand tall. Let the arms hang loose off the shoulders. Chin neutral so the back of the neck is relaxed.

3) Close Your Eyes and Breathe.
Do you pay attention to your posture for most of the day? Neither do I. When you stand up straight, you free up your breathing mechanism - the heart, lungs, and the diaphragm. Feel what it feels like to breathe. Nothing fancy.

Feel the air go in through the nostrils and fill the lungs. The belly expands slightly as the air fills the lungs. Then everything contracts naturally as the air leaves the body on exhale.

4) Four part neck stretch
Stand in mountain pose and do this gentle four part series:
- Drop your chin to the chest, wait a beat, return to neutral
- Drop your right ear to right shoulder, wait a beat, return to neutral
- Drop your left ear to left shoulder, wait a beat, return to neutral
- Lift your chin toward the ceiling, wait a beat, return to neutral

5) The return
If you can, meander by a window on your way back to your desk. Or step outside for a breath of fresh air. Look at one specific thing - be it a car, a bird, or a tree. Recognize it's realness, it's being, and appreciate it for what it is. Say a silent thank you to yourself for taking this time to nourish. Make yourself a cup of tea and get back to work!

I'm out.

2010-04-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

I have officially outed myself... so hi... my name is Anna!

Exciting Opportunities Abound.

2010-04-13T07:36:00.000-07:00

So much has happened in my mind in the past few days that it's hard to stop and write! I feel this urgency and excitement about my life, about yoga, about the world. It is very exciting - but I am committing to taking some time to just be this afternoon... just be. Don't do, just be! And maybe work in the garden when my hubby gets home.

The report - I missed the Saturday morning class I was going to go to - we arrived and it was full. However it was so beautiful in Boston on Saturday! We walked around looking at the yellow forsythia and beautiful pink (insert proper flower name here). Trees were blossoming, row houses with brick sidewalks, blue sky. I had great fun with my friends from boarding school who live in Boston.

Sunday was the conference. My first class was a kundalini workshop. It's so very different from all the other styles of yoga I've done. I find the chanting a little daunting but easier to do in a group setting (where we're all doing this weird stuff). I have some kundalini videos at home and I'm never bold enough to make the SAT-nam vocalizations as strongly as I learned they are meant to be made. Kundalini yoga is all about moving energy up the spine. Find it, open things up get them moving, and move it up the spine.

Rapid spinal flexion with powerful short breaths was the warm up... and the exercise of Sat Kriya for six minutes was extremely challenging and fired up my body. I won't get into how to do it here but you can read about it if you like http://kundaliniyogabootcamp.com/sat-kriya/. There was music and chanting and by the end of class I had a huge grin on my face. I have tons of respect for anyone who does Sat Kriya for many minutes each morning. It's something I would like to incorporate. So much yoga to do!

Gary Kraftsow taught two workshops and I attended them both. The first was upper back, neck and shoulders work and the second was lower back, hips and sacrum. I have been inspired by his teachings for so long that I was pleased to get right up front in both classes to learn as much as I could, to try to get a feel for him as a person, not just a teacher at a conference. I admire his quiet demeanor and quiet demands of excellence of the students. His cues are made up of completely non-metaphorical language. This is because much of the work he's done with the American Viniyoga Institute is aimed toward creating evidence based practice. Meaning, they apply for funding to study back pain, COPD, GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), etc. They have protocols written up in medical journals.

It was amazing to me to feel my whole life dovetail around what I learned. The practices were deep and profound while appearing un-yogic and un-fancy - no fancy standing bow pose here. The work is extremely accessible to people of all physical abilities. And it can be ratcheted up with mental effort to be challenging indeed. This work is so inspiring to me personally. It is the absolute opposite of Bikram. And... it's PERFECT for teaching in the workplace. I am quite excited to pick up Gary's DVD http://www.amazon.com/Viniyoga-Therapy-Back-Sacrum-Kraftsow/dp/B000U0C9UE and start teaching some of the sequences here that are scientifically proven to help back pain.

I found a second series to Bikram that has been scientifically proven to help with back pain, basically. And this is one I can take on the road to all types of people, not just those who enter a Bikram studio of their own volition. I have so much excitement about this, about my practice (started this morning!) and about bringing Viniyoga to my rural community. I went up to Gary with a bright shining face at the end of a long day and introduced myself and told him I can't wait to come study with him. I felt that he felt my enthusiasm.

Lastly, I found a scholarship opportunity to a viniyoga teacher training in BALI(!) in August. I am quite looking forward to applying. Yogatrex.net if you're interested in trying it out. I'm wanting and intending to be in Bali in August. My application has come together in my mind and soon shall be on paper. I hope to be an enthusiastic brand ambassador for the training.

Lastly,

Annaconda's Yoga Shack Open for Business

2010-04-08T15:24:00.001-07:00

My Bikram Yoga closet is officially open for the season. Season being, until it gets too cold next fall to heat the space with space heaters. Bikram yoga - 26x2! 26 postures, 2 breathing exercises, performed in 105degree heat and 40% humidity. 90 minutes of heaven and hell interspersed like a chocolate vanilla swirl cake cone.

Let me paint a little picture for ya.

Our house is unique. It's quirky. It's got a lot of wood - exposed wood, wood slatted ceilings, unique lintels. Our criteria for purchasing the house were:
1) ability to go outside naked - not that we do much but we wanted that degree of privacy
2) not tcttr (to close to the road - we had many tools and acronyms to get us through the house buying process)
3) land
4) proximity to our town of work
5) school district
etc
etc

So we found this place that was originally a writers cabin which had been built onto in two large expansions. It has lovely little outbuildings, a perennial garden that I'm expanding daily, and it's somewhat homehewn (new word! yeah!) inside. There is a room on the second floor that might have been designed to be a potential second bathroom? Laundry room? Not sure if there's real plumbing, I dont' think so, but there are some fixtures. It's very rough. It's just like this extra room. So I have turned it into my yoga closet.

There are currently two flannel blankets/sheets tacked to the ceiling to create a sort of drop ceiling, diffusing the light from the raw bulb above. Our house is not particularly well insulated. We're working on that. This room has two outside walls and is in the oldest part of the house. So... it's cold and drafty in there. I have tons of old sweaters and even a sleeping bag lining the space where the walls hit the floor. Two space heaters take up space to my right when I practice (don't lose your balance, hey!) A low quality mirror balances a little off center on a ledge close to where I've stuffed "insulation" where the floor meets the wall. And on the wall is a poster of Esak Garcia and his wife extremely pregnant. She's doing a beautiful balancing stick and he's doing an advanced pose where he balances on one arm, whole body outstretched.

I hung out there for 90 minutes with the boss. Just have to get my humidifier cranking next time. Temp - 100 - 105 today. Humidity not quite there because I didn't sweat enough. Just gotta fill the humidifier. Other elements to the room that make it great are extension cords connecting to a timer - like for xmas lights. That way I can warm it up for myself (2 hrs) so it's nice and toasty for when I get home.

Today I found an awesome tweak that worked so well for my standing head to knee today. I think I have stronger external rotational muscles in my hips than internal. The balance goes that way. So I thought hard about internally rotating the standing leg to get the weight to stay over the ball of the toe. It helped me stay balancing for longer. I fall out of that pose uh lot.

Happy practice! This weekend is a non-Bikram weekend for me. I'm going to teach tomorrow at work for 30 minutes and also Bikram at 4pm, then drive to Boston and stay with my buddy. We're hitting Ashtanga on Saturday morning and then Sunday I'm seeing Gary Kraftsow twice and attending a session on Kundalini. Fun!

Twitter anyone?

2010-04-07T12:50:00.000-07:00

Anyone into this new agey thing called twitter?

Wellity!

2010-04-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

Yay, I'm feeling human again! That was a two week period I wouldn't want to repeat, thanks very much. I didn't really practice for about two weeks - twice I came in and did the poses in a semi-heated room before I taught, that's about it. I was so dehydrated I could just teach. A week ago Monday I sat down during savasana and was woozy when I stood up!

Enough about that. It's over, and I'm nourishing myself. Thank you for all your kind well-wishes!

Last Friday was such a beautiful day. It was the first day I was feeling well enough to practice along with teaching so I popped in Bikram's CD and cranked the heat. I love practicing with him. It's a good thing, because the warm-ish weather is here and that means I can officially re-open my yoga closet for business. But I digress. On Friday, it was sunny and in the 70s and people did not come to the 4pm class! Two people showed up. Having just practiced myself, I did not opt to lead a silent class which I am allowed to do with a super small class size and experienced students.

Instead, I did a private lesson! We worked through the poses, practicing and talking about them, mostly answering the two experienced students' questions. It was so much fun. In Bikram teaching, you're getting a large group of people through a series of a LOT of poses interspersed with rest periods. There's not a lot of room for conversation, you know? You get them in, you get them out, you get them through the postures and make sure everyone is doing class safely first and foremost, and getting maximum medical benefit.

With two people, who I know pretty well, it was so nice to be able to answer questions and give them more than a quick line of feedback on the posture. I found a VERY strange thing - both students were hardly if at all touching their head to the floor in rabbit. Now I know that the point of that posture is not to press your head into the floor or create any additional pressure in the neck. I'm not advocating that AT ALL. But you do place the top of your head on the floor (hopefully after touching your forehead to the knees.) Dialogue does not say "lightly pressing" - it says put your head on the floor. It's just the way the pose is done. Don't turn your neck, don't push into the floor, and use your arms/hand grip as leverage to lift the hips up. A fabulous thing to get to do in a private lesson is to really look at warrior II precursor to triangle in the mirror, encouraging the students to SIT DOWN. You can say it a million times in class but still you've got to move on if they don't and you've got like close to 30 people in the room.

I remember Lynn Whitlow telling us at the end of training - don't even try to correct their triangles for the first few months. You'll get overwhelmed/bogged down. It's really true.

Anyway it was very interesting. I'm trying to get more students interested in a RARE thing happening in June - a posture clinic with a senior teacher in my rural area!

Another fun yoga happening in my life is that last week (during my sickness unfortunately) I was on the road three days giving presentations for wellness (for my day job) and TEACHING YOGA ON SITE! First official classes! Did some breathing work and gentle stretching with the groups, and I'm doing another workshop this week as well. Definitely butterflies-and-rainbow yoga but you have to start somewhere accessible at the worksite.

I'm heading down to the Yoga Journal conference in Boston this weekend to see a teacher who absolutely inspires me - Gary Kraftsow, the leader of the Viniyoga yoga style of yoga therapy. So interesting - on the one hand, I love the universal healing appeal of the Bikram series. On the other hand I love this Viniyoga, and teaching individually, yoga therapy, etc:

Yoga provides the means to bring out the best in each individual. This requires an understanding of a person's present condition, personal potential, appropriate goals and the means available. As each person is different, these will vary with each individual.

Viniyoga™ is an ancient Sanskrit term that implies differentiation, adaptation, and appropriate application. As a style of practice, Viniyoga™ refers to an approach to Yoga that adapts the various means and methods of practice to the unique condition, needs and interests of the individual. As a result, each practitioner is given the tools to individualize and actualize the process of self-discovery and personal transformation.

The Viniyoga™ approach evolved out of the teachings transmitted by T. Krishnamacharya and T.K.V. Desikachar of Chennai, India.

-from viniyoga website

Anyway I'm very excited! Should be fun.

Still Ill...

2010-03-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

Wow this thing just won't go away. I've taught a few times without practicing which is a new experience for me. It's ok, not great. I wish I could be practicing. However with the fluid situation and my stomach, it's just not advisable. Too much liquid literally makes me sick. Hoping to see a doc soon!

Woe

2010-03-25T11:15:00.000-07:00

stomach bug... second day in bed... surviving on Pedialyte. Tomorrow I teach... and return to work, no matter what. This will be a good test. I plan to survive on dialogue and am praying I will be able to teach without having to run to the restroom!

a GREAT dialogue class

2010-03-23T05:58:00.001-07:00

I don't know. I think something really clicked for me watching Diane teach and use the dialogue. I have most of it in my brain - last night's class was EXCELLENT. I was extremely methodical and was able to make a lot of little tweaks on people. It was a great class. The dialogue helped me help them work harder and deeper in the postures. It single-handedly allowed me to make the class about 10-20% harder while keeping my voice helpful, cajoling, and calm.

That's what the big difference is between using the dialogue and not. The dialogue makes it harder. There is no vagueness. No room for it. Not much room for try - but you can add that in if you see someone struggling who needs encouragement to stay with A before moving to B.

Practice? Well... I had hoped for more "improvement" in my standing bow balance. I ended up kicking my water bottle across the studio when I came out and landed on it. I was so in the zone it totally knocked me out of orbit! I was working a lot of things in my personal practice that I learned this weekend and was able to keep my heart really really pumping all the way through the floor series. That's what the last posture clinic I went to did for my practice as well - showed me all the places I can work harder to gain depth. Had a great practice.

Inspirational!

2010-03-22T09:17:00.001-07:00

Posture clinic yesterday with Diane Ducharme, one of my favorite Bikram teachers, one of the most gifted Bikram teachers around. I actually went down to Bikram Yoga Merrimack Valley Saturday afternoon and Teri put me up for the night so I didn't have to drive 3 hours for an 8am Sunday class before posture clinic.

I am so sore and tired... but am itching to get back into the studio today! I have pages of notes, and did a better standing bow and floor bow than I've ever done with some coaching. I almost locked my knee in standing bow!

The biggest event of the weekend was definitely my realization about my current dialogue environment and real dialogue studios. I mean, there is no dialogue in my bikram community. No one teaches it except new teachers. OK, that's the reality of things.

Hearing dialogue taught well both by Teri and esPECIALLY by Diane... holy cow. I am quite torn at the moment. I want to be able to use the dialogue as a tool the way Diane does. Working the room in posture clinic she fixed people's postures one by one by talking them through the dialogue line at a time. It was amazing. Powerful. Inspiring. All the answers were IN THERE.

To be frank, when I got to bow pose in training, I thought the dialogue was a piece of crap. All it says is kick this way kick that way etc kick kick kick it just didn't seem to DO anything. Well... hearing Diane correct people using the dialogue instructions in order was mind-blowing. My own bow changed completely. I realize that all the extra stuff that people say is trying to get you to do all the stuff that the dialogue says.

It's really difficult. Is the reason people don't teach dialogue because they don't know how it is when it's taught well? Is it a resistance to regulations? A desire for freedom? I don't know. What I do know is that I am a good teacher. I think a good teacher makes dialogue come alive. I'm going to continue to work on becoming a strong dialogue teacher. My environment makes it so that I will probably always have a plethora of "extra" in my brain. Extra instructions, ideas, corrections, philosophy, personal practice stuff.

One thing I know is that I will never be a dialogue nazi or bash people who do not teach dialogue. There is quite a sycophantic bent to the Bikram community and that's not at all who I am, and frankly, I don't like the insular community when it gets snitty, self-righteous, and catty. I love it when it is inviting and close knit. I guess the two go hand in hand. I am welcoming and open to learning, from dialogue and non-dialogue teachers and studios. (I certainly did not have a catty experience this weekend at all - but I've seen it and remember it from training and from other trainees who report back about their experiences in other places in the country.)

There's such a difference from reciting the dialogue, even with feeling and emphasis, as opposed to teaching with it, taking everyone through it step by step and grabbing those who don't do a step and helping them get there or work on it. Without A, no B, right? It makes the class harder. I worked harder in Diane's class than I had since training. The class was harder. Not just from carpet (my triangle is so much weaker on carpet) but also because the dialogue tells you to touch your face in padahastasana, damn it, not to try. Not that you'll get there over time. The dialogue pulls no punches.

The other thing I want to do today is show up with a tape measure for 4 feet distance between the feet for triangle. People refuse to step it out and thus they don't get down in triangle in my studio. Unfortunately, all this means I'm going to be teaching a significantly harder class than most of the teachers at my studio. I know it's the right thing to do. I already have a reputation for being a "hot" teacher. I like that. I know I'm going to be tougher now too. It's for their own good. I don't want to blog about too much "internal" stuff about my studio but I had to get this all off my chest.

I'm hoping after a few more weeks of dialogue focus that I will have the missing bits in there in order to take a trip down to BYMV and teach.

To work on:
sep leg stretching - have the pieces but it doesn't flow out straight each time
triangle - always to work on this pose.
sep head to knee - have it but unsure of the order (it's not hammered into my brain)
locust full locust bow (especially bow) want to be able to do it verbatim. I have locust and full locust pretty well though. Bow... I never really saw the point of the dialogue till this weekend.
well... I'll have to say the whole floor series needs work. Except Cobra - I have that one down cold.

Man. :) that's a lot to do!

In the Swing of things

2010-03-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

It's great to be back. I had a very nice vacation. Have practiced a few times since I got back and I'm buzzing again with yoga! Friday (last) was my first class teaching after my little break. I was a little worried I'd, like, forget everything - it was the first break I took since training. Happy to report, it's all still in my brain, thankfully. I'm not a strict dialogue-ist but I do aim to get all the dialogue into my poses between first and second sets. When I say that, I mean the command, rather than the verbatim. "Create pressure with the left foot sole against the right thigh bicep of the thigh muscle" or whatever it is becomes left foot against the right inner thigh. Etc.

(though, as I listen to dialogue in my car sometimes I get obsessed with weird lines like that and want to have it in my arsenal to throw out on occasion).

Friday I was feeling mellow and taught a more calm, focused class. A student talked about jaw tension so I was giving cues about relaxing the jaw and neck and shoulders throughout. It was interesting! A student said, "Signature class!" (he's taken many of my classes.)

I taught the Sunday 4pm and my usual Monday 6pm and Monday's class was amazing. I can't imagine what life would be like if Bikram teaching were my only job. In one sense, it would be awesome - teaching two days in a row, my Monday night class was spectacular. (On the other hand, I think teaching tons of Bikram and living in the studio is not sustainable in the longterm.)

I thought I taught a very challenging standing series. Usually that means that you taught a LONG standing series, which means you lose out on the time in the floor postures to make up for it. But no - hard standing series with full rest and everyone moving in and out of poses together, hot hot hot, hit the floor at 51-52 minutes in. POIFEKT!

Can you believe the standing series on the Bikram cd is 48-49 minutes long! Even with all that talking at the beginning. He gives no rest between postures at all. That's true of training as well. But in my classroom, the students run out of gas if you don't get them to breathe between standing balancing poses for a second. On the CD, I noticed, standing separate leg forehead to knee is quite short.

Anyway... Personal practice - I have come back into practice gently, Friday after I taught I practiced and ended up just resting after one set of camel. Sunday I practiced in the studio alone with the Bikram CD. I miss that guy. I practiced hard just because I heard his voice. Monday I was a bit fatigued but stayed with it. It's so funny how different parts of the series become hard/easy. Right now I'm loving standing separate head to knee. Even standing head to knee and bow are feeling fun to me right now.

I miss miss miss my backbends. I had great, deep, few feet away from the floor backbend in the first posture before training and at the beginning of training, but alas, it's long gone at the moment.

So on the non-yoga front, I want to post a little bit about my relationship with food etc. I had a really tough couple of weeks there. I was doing South Beach, hubby lost a bunch of weight, I did not. Not like he did. It really killed me. I was getting really "diety" at the end, obsessing a bit about weight loss and food.

Because of my COE history, I know full well that true dieting is something I will never be able to do. I am not a linear weight-loss type of gal. My food and my emotions are still entwined, though I am at a much better place now than before. So anyway, with peer support, I decided to take two weeks off to eat whatever I liked, and to exercise as much as I liked, including vacation time where I did not do any bikram.

So the great thing is, I enjoyed myself immensely. I noticed that because of all the work I'd done, when I was "splurging", the portion sizes were smaller. My body did not feel nearly as good as when I was eating less and drinking just a little on the weekend. I really noticed feeling sluggish and full in the mornings.

We're back to our fabulous meal planning and shopping and cooking and both hubby and I are so glad to get back into it. And, with all that, I may have gained a little but nothing noticeable to me or my clothes. I think it was a necessary break to remind me that I like what I'm doing, and how I feel when I do it. I will continue to work until I start to rebel again, and will invite a break. Taking a break rather than "fighting it out" is so the right thing to do - it helps me see how much better I feel, how much healthier I know I am, when I'm eating healthy.

At this point, and long term, I'm a little bit unconcerned about weight loss. It finally dawned on me that over time I am getting better at this, and I am slimming down. It's taking ages it feels like, but I'm never going to unlearn all that I've learned. I'm doing this slowly, and mindfully - and it's truly part of who I am. So I know, for instance, that I'll have more days of healthy eating than not in 2010. I don't know if I can honestly say that about any year before that (since I was young).

As I get better at caring and cooking for myself and my family (just DH and the kitties for now) I will continue to improve my health.

One of my concerns has been that I hope to get pregnant later this year. Of course the looming thought of motherhood and pregnancy weight gain make me a little scared. But I have to trust that this bank of self-care is accruing interest, you know?

Away for a while

2010-03-02T06:17:00.000-08:00

I've been M.I.A. for a while, I miss my bloggie buddies! Working through some stuff mentally (dealing with the fact that my hubby dropped 30 lbs since the beginning of the year and left me in the dust...) but still at my practice and teaching!

I'm off to Florida for a few days for some beach time and spring training baseball as a thanks to hubby for looking after things while I was away at training. Here's to some WELL DESERVED VACATION seeing as how I was back at work the Monday after I got home from training.

See you soon!

Ho hum....

2010-02-11T12:21:00.000-08:00

I did a lovely water-free class yesterday. I drank about two liters of water beforehand so I knew I was juicy enough to not even bring water into the room. Right front and center. I was pouring sweat during the breathing! It felt like just when I got back from training, when the humidity and sweat of the east coast felt really foreign to me.

Standing head to knee was not wonderful yesterday - I have such a hard time with the initial set up of that posture. Because of the length of my arms / the size of my chest / the size of my thigh getting the initial grip around the foot is so very difficult. However, yesterday, when I kicked out on one side, I quickly readjusted my hands into the fully interlocked grip and it felt great.

I know the point is to have that grip the whole time but my arms do not reach at the beginning. I'm not sure what to do with that. Just keep trying, I guess. I don't want to be moving my hands a lot in class, setting a bad example... but it's much better form to have the full grip as I kick out. Thoughts?

Standing bow is coming along. My flexibility is there. I need to take a pic from the side to see how close the leg is to straight. I'm sure there's some ways to go but I'm completely abdomen and chest parallel to the floor. I know what it means to come DOWN in that pose. So many people spend so long (like years) not coming down! Come down! Fall out! Join me! Fling forward! I do it a couple times a class, but I know it's the right thing to do. Keeping the standing thigh burningly tight squeezed to the bone is the name of the game in this posture for me. I try try try. I'm one of those people who can easily get the leg straight (because I'm flexible) but it's more of a challenge to keep the thigh burning tight to the bone. I'm working on it.

Some postures that were awesome yesterday
- Standing separate leg stretching second set legs close... felt good.
- Separate leg head to knee did almost all of both sets with both legs locked out, hands in prayer. Where did THAT come from!
- locust - for some reason my body is loving this pose again. Haven't since training. Finally getting the leg back up to 45 degrees and getting a little more height and strength with both legs.
- full locust - a teacher came into our studio to practice on Sunday and the teacher had her demo this posture. Thank you - it has changed my idea of what it's supposed to look like going in, being in, and coming out of this posture. Love it.
pretty much the rest of the floor series felt great too.

I think my body is healed from training. I can't explain how much better things feel this week than... any time since I was at training. Whoopie!

I got some feedback on my energetic class from Monday night... participant (not teacher) said - great class - amazing energy! Then said that there was too much energy in triangle. !??!?! I know I have to take all feedback lightly which I'm trying to do. I need all the energy I can get in triangle, and I figure most people do too. The line that was the most energetic was "reach up, reach up, reach up, touch the ceiling!"

I liked what I did with it. There. I said it. :)

Powerhouse

2010-02-09T12:20:00.000-08:00

Last night - practice: room just did not feel hot. Standing balancing series not as good as Sunday but all in all things felt good and I worked hard. I got about 80% back into my first backbend - 80% of my max. It has been two weeks since I've been able to go back to any kind of depth.

My body is changing. Half Tortoise and Rabbit poses are my gauge for that. I did an awesome rabbit feet together good grip hips high for about the first time ever last night. Very exciting. Had one of those days where energy built and built and by separate leg head to knee with stretching on the floor at the end, I was flexing so hard my heel was inches off the ground.

Also (thanks dancingdj) I tried to create CRAMP ON TOP OF THE THIGH in standing head to knee pose. Didn't succeed, but remembered to try!

I came out of class feeling good, ready to turn around and teach. The class I taught last night was SO HIGH IN ENERGY. I mean I wasn't pepping them to death - I was managing my voice volume in the small room, micromanaging the heat. But I was so enthused and energized from my own last two classes I was really bringing the energy. It was a challenging class but a class with a really good clip - nice pace - and I killed them. But we had fun. Had some newbies in the room as well.

I can't speak highly enough of my Monday night practice then teach. The only problem is how to sleep afterward! I could not sleep last night.

Sunday morning - perfection

2010-02-08T08:39:00.000-08:00

I had the best practice yesterday.

I have been undergoing the most hellish pre- "time of the month" for the last two weeks. It affected my practice so much on Friday that I had to lie on my back the last quarter of class - I almost puked from the pain of being on my belly. Might be TMI for some but there aren't that many people reading this... so I'll take my chances.

Friday night and Saturday I slept. I was an emotional wreck. Exhausted.

Saturday I was reading between naps from my favorite new book, Moving into Stillness, by yogi Erich Schiffman (the title of which has inspired the title of my blog). He's not a Bikram guy. Pretty far from it. In fact most of my non-Bikram yoga influences are about as far from Bikram as you can get. I think that's because my yoga is a lot about mitigating the type A nature of my personality, not reinforcing it.

I was reading about all the things that drew me to yoga in the first place - the internal nature of exploration of the body with kindness and mindfulness, the playful and fun nature of yoga, working with lines of energy... really there is so much in the book. I was just dipping a toe into it and see many many more hours of study to come.

I arrived early on Sunday, the full 30 minutes before class began, and did a bit of restorative and yin yoga - to open the joints in the hot room before working on the muscles in class. Very important for me as I've been feeling so wrecked recently. As class began in pranayama I was snuggling my feet into the ground, working my leg line, stretching through the spine... and tuning out the teacher completely. I don't usually do that but I gave myself permission to play that class.

One thing that struck me in the book was to honor the minimum edge ALONG with the maximum edge. So much is made of getting to your max, extending your max, pushing the edge in Bikram. What a wonderful and joyous thing it was to appreciate my minimum edge - the point of first stretch, and move with grace from there! Extending and expanding in half moon with the breath, not pushing right to the max. The upshoot was that I wanted to stay in every pose (well maybe except triangle) for much longer than the bang bang bang sequence of bikram allows.

My standing balancing poses were way way more effortless than I have experienced for two weeks. I stopped at the beginning of the second set of sep. leg head to knee to continue breathing easily and calmly because it felt so good. I didn't want to get into an elevated breathing pattern yesterday. It didn't feel right. I still made it into the pose before the first side of that set was done, but I did it when I was ready.

Ah. What wondrous fun I had playing yoga in the studio yesterday. Light and refreshing.

Good other things are happening in my yoga life - I'm teaching a seven class series of yoga and meditative breathing to one of my clients this year. One visit a month now through August! That's just the beginning - other clients are asking for visits as well. I don't meditate regularly - sometimes I do, but that and yoga is a little too monk-y for me. I have meditation training and have gone on retreats, and I love working with this stuff so I know it's going to feel expansive and wholesome and right... The curriculum I developed is:

Tune into the body
Tune into the breath
Wake up - Springtime Stretching 1
Wake up - Springtime Stretching 2
Summer Stretching Warriors
Ergonomics - stretch at work for safety

Working with an employee population with total beginners and people who inevitably have injuries is an interesting situation. I've done wellness programming for worksites for years so I'm familiar with this. Each visit will be two 30 minute sessions back to back open to all employees. The first two sessions will not even be on mats. We'll start doing seated breathing, some gentle chair stretching and standing stretching for the first two.

Then Springtime stretching we'll move onto the floor and the mats. Still, it will be very gentle - bringing the seated stretching onto the floor (cross legged on blankets), cat cow to wake up the spine, of course some half moon like poses, and the most basic sun salutation (with no jumping back, lunges, etc.) along with some supine twisting and a nice restorative rest at the end.

Second Springtime stretching will introduce down dog. Imagine! Four sessions in before a downward dog! But it's a must, you have to identify people with tendonitis and wrist issues, scoliosis, that kind of stuff - down dog is a serious weight bearing pose (which is why Bikram is such a good beginners series.)

Summer warriors will introduce warrior 1 and the full sun salutation. If I can I'm hoping to make that one long session, because you just can't do that much in 30 minutes. We'll see.

The ergonomic stuff is so essential and there's so many great resources for this kind of work that it's a no brainer to add at the end.

Anyway... lots in the percolator!

You don't have to believe everything you think.

2010-02-05T11:41:00.001-08:00

Anna - you don't have to believe everything you think!
Love, your blogging alterego, Ariella.

Musings

2010-02-02T08:17:00.000-08:00

Practicing recently has been a struggle. Of course I'm happy when I'm done, but I have found myself in that spot where I want to say nasty stuff to myself and not acknowledge gains I've made in my practice. Sure they're small, but really, it's been mentally tough on the mat for the last week.

Teaching last night was my most difficult class yet. I had some distractions, a new person specifically, who I knew from the gitgo was going to be a challenge to me in class. I wanted to laugh at one point, I wanted to clench my teeth and scream at another. Of course I held it together and taught. One of my other students noted my "strong dialogue" tonight. I felt at certain points that I was being perhaps a little harsh in tone but since I worked on that at training I know instinctively to manage that during class.

I struggled to keep the newbies doing the right thing while teaching the whole class, not just the newbies. You really do have to teach to the lowest common denominator. The newbie came out of class smiling and talking to everyone, first yoga experience ever, smiling and talking about coming back, etc. That was a good feeling. I think some hormonal swings are going on for me right now and it's that one week a month or so where I'm on edge and little things seem HUGE to me. I'm like 80% closer to the edge to begin with at this time and have to be mindful of that urge to blow my top.

In food musings... I promised my husband I'd blog something. We had a 15 bean soup kit - basically a bag of beans and a "ham packet" (do not even begin to ask me what the hell is in a ham packet - powdered ham???? powdered delicious?) and I had soaked the beans. Saturday night I was out like a light and my husband, an extremely good cook - he has worked as a line cook in restaurants before - started in on the soup. When I awoke he said that he had given up and it was in my hands now. He went off to the gym while I did some housework and fixed the soup. Various spices, more water, boil off some of the tomato paste... just a few tricks up these here sleeves!

This week we have an exciting week of menus for dinner on our low carb kick.

Monday - Salmon with pesto and tomatoes broiled in foil with salad
Tuesday - zucchini cups with tomato and ground beef and stirfry broccoli raab
Wednesday - Chili Lime pork chops with salad
Thursday - Roasted Tilapia with napa cabbage and shitake mushrooms
Friday - chickpeas ground beef and cilantro

Lunch chicken peanut butter chicken skewers (light on the pb of course!)

I have been tracking the weekend shopping lists and when this week is complete we'll have four weekly shopping lists "in the can." We'll have tried all the recipes. It's sad that hubby doesn't like salmon - I thought last night's dinner was divine but he was all about fish-as-vehicle-for-bringing-me-more-pesto. Tilapia, however, does work for us to enjoy once a week, it's mild and cheap and easy.

We seem to have a system down. It's quite fun what's going on these days in the kitchen. It's cool to have a sticky note posted of the meals for the week and recipes standing by so either of us can get to work in the kitchen any day of the week. We try to keep light prep loads for the nights when we both get home late.

A humbling practice

2010-01-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I practiced before I taught. In the northeast, we got about two inches of RAIN yesterday. In my tiny little studio, a well insulated box with low ceilings, we have trouble controlling the humidity when there are many bodies in the room. There's a tipping point of a certain number, and after that, you just try to manage things rather than controlling them per se.

So if one had turned up the volume on my thoughts during practice yesterday one would have either heard a string of colorful and exotic expletives, or a lot of beeping (if it was a censored broadcast.) I just had a tough class. I'm trying to be more mindful of the fact that the physical reality of my practice doesn't change that much day to day, but the mental atmosphere sure does.

Yesterday it was hot and humid. For whatever reason, in the first half moon side to side warm up I went "uh-oh." I hadn't practiced since Friday (teaching Sunday rather than practicing as usual). I thought I'd be feeling very strong as resting from gym and other activities usually leaves me feeling that way. But I had some food and alcohol over the weekend that I would consider sluggish-making. Anyway, for whatever reason, I was back to yelling at myself over the dismal state of my balance in standing bow, not to mention standing head to knee.

The bonus to this practice was that in the class I taught, a half hour later, I was extremely mindful of the students in the room and their experience. I took teaching them very seriously as I knew it would make for a challenging class for just about anyone with the heat and the humidity. I did get the humidity down for the start of class but it popped up a bit. Luckily I managed it well and it didn't go above 50%.

I do consider it a good class when the students don't have time to listen to their thoughts. I even threw in one of my favorite bumpersticker phrases during the floor savasanas somewhere. You don't have to believe everything you think.

I did a lot of explanation of the savasanas, and the length of them - approx 20 seconds being the amount of time it takes the blood to circulate throughout the body (high speed oxygenated blood bringing healing and nutrition to the body). I also showed them about a pet peeve of mine that Emmy showed us. In the situp, you will see many people doing a couple of things wrong.

Firstly, there is the error of leading with the arms rather than keeping the arms with the head. You know people are keeping the arms and head together when they move a little slower than usual after they've been given the cue. No wonder - it's harder to lift yourself up that way.

The second issue with the situps is that little extra ego based "I got this" moment of reaching the hands up to the ceiling (jerking a little more into the lower back than necessary) before bending forward. The situp is meant to be one clean movement, arms and hands going STRAIGHT for the toes. Not reaching up then over and down. There is not supposed to be that moment of lower back extension at the top of the situp. Emmy said you will end up with a sore back from doing that over and over.

Because the room was hot and very gooey with humidity, I kept the class moving and light. I actually surprised myself with the pace, getting to separate leg head to knee with stretching a little faster than I planned. But with pacing, I ended the class with an extra long savasana, 3 minutes of which was technically "class time." I felt great about the class though, I felt I gave the students the perfect class for the room for that day, to give them maximum benefit. I constantly reminded them to come back to the breath, to save the fidgety energy, to extend the exhales on the floor, and to be efficient in finding and enjoying savasana. I said "stay wtih me" and "stay together" once or twice to keep things moving. My commands were light and precise but after triangle I was giving a sort of barebones dialogue, not wanting to add my words to the humidity. Light and snappy were suggestions given to me by my studio head for a sluggish class (boy Friday 6pm was that last week!) and I felt it appropriate.

I am pleased to have turned my own practice into a tool for my teaching. Bikram is so freaking amazing that way. It's never easy. Maybe some days it requires lighter effort, but they are few and far between and they're not what I associate with Bikram. Bikram challenges you every single time you enter the room to practice, to show up, to look into your own cosmic mirror.

Back to the dialogue...

2010-01-25T06:49:00.000-08:00

I recorded myself last June delivering dialogue. I used editing software to cut out the mistakes and the breaths so it's like machine-gun rapid fire dialogue. It does not have the softer edge that I brought out at training (and that is essential to teaching). However, it's very useful for just hearing the words over and over and over.

Upon return from training, I was listening to dialogue in my car (again, just like before training!) A few weeks ago I pretty much hit my limit with that. I was even making cds of "problem poses" and listening to selects. This morning I went back to the old reliable, the cd with the full series on it, all the dialogue from the packet minus secondary dialogue and pranayama.

Boy is the dialogue amazing. There is so much information CRAMMED in to those 46 pages or whatever it is. Tiny things like exhale breathing before you suck in the stomach and sit down into first part awkward. I had been leaving out that exhale. I also have been leaving out certain other things. A specific one that I can note is the eye gaze focus commands in tree and toe. I remember by toe focus on the floor four feet in front of you, usually say it on the second side.

I am glad I took a break from listening to it. When you start to get angry every time you start the ignition, it's time for a break. What did I find on break? A bunch of depressing news on NPR. Some interesting stories, but a bunch of depressing news, some snarky tones in the reporting about Obama (NPR always trying to seem like they're not liberal-leaning and so they jumped on that Mass senate election travesty like white on rice.)

Ooh... let's not get into politics. Really let's not. I used to be a politics junkie, then I started dealing with more important things. In getting ready for training I let that go completely and just focused on the yoga... and I have to say I like it better that way. Politics riles the blood. I am not apathetic, but I don't need to have my finger on that pulse.

Yesterday I taught the Sunday morning class... packed like sardines, about two away from room capacity. Managing the heat in our small studio with a class like that is difficult. The heat is easy. The humidity is the key. I knew that it would get humid beyond control quickly wiht all the bodies (and the low ceiling.) I turned off the heat early as the humidity climbed. We practiced with windows open almost the whole time to manage the humidity. It was a great class. I'm happy to return to my dialogue studies and bring more and more dialogue into my teaching.

The Struggleometer.

2010-01-22T08:37:00.000-08:00

I haven't been blogging every single practice these days... and I like it that way. There is a lot of mental ease in my practice these days. I am really constantly trying to keep myself out of judging mentality. I'm just showing up and practicing. When I got home from training, I had a lot of feelings about how I should be and how my practice should look as a teacher.

The thing I hold to tried and true that I learned in training is to be an example to my students. So the ways in which I do that are:

1) I take Savasana very, very seriously. I try my damndest to get there quick and not move. They say it so many times over and over, and I didn't move much before training, but I really try to get people thinking about the health benefits of being still when I teach, and I try to model that good behavior.

2) Similar to #1, I try to move with grace, and that includes resting between standing postures without moving, just focusing on the breath. Hey we all have a stray hair or a wardrobe malfunction once in a while but I try to be a good example there.

3) I try to manage the things that come up in my practice with frequency.
- Judging myself and others
- Being competitive - wanting to have the best pose in the room
- Cutting myself down - I can't do this, I can't do that, I can't balance in standing balancing series is my most frequent thought by far.
- All the type A crap - wondering what kind of practice I'll have, wanting to "look" like a teacher should look

4) Managing my struggle-ometer
When I did a back to back last week, I knew I had to pace myself through the first class. All I decided to do was keep things light in my mind. The class flew by and my postures didn't change that much from when my struggle-ometer is at full blast (11 out of 10 like Spinal Tap.) But I felt lighter, happier, and easier after class.

5) water
I drink less, period. I do make sure to drink at party time and fixed firm when I'm teaching afterward though. Getting into savasana after the standing series with no water is a habit that I love. THere's no need to add cold water sloshing around in there when everything's trying to enjoy

NATURAL IRRIGATION OF THE CIRCULATORY SYSTEM WITH THE HELP OF THE RESPIRATORY SYSTEM!

Doing a water free class in the middle of training opened my mind on the water front and I'm so happy for it.

---

I taught the best class I have ever taught on Monday night. I can't get into why but basically there was someone in that class I had been waiting to kill. I taught an incredibly focused class. If I had practiced I would have died (with pleasure). I know they say that some people don't listen to the teacher and just do the auto-pilot thing, but I'm not like that. Nor were the students that day. They were listening. They were with me. I took every single posture to the max. They stayed with me - I could tell at the end they'd all had their brains turned off for 90 minutes.

My brain, your body. As Diane Ducharme says, I'm driving for the next 90 minutes. It was so incredible and the students were so focused - I mean like no one fell out of standing bow! I fall out almost every single time multiple times on the first set, so there were three times where I just said Wow. I don't throw that into teaching much, but I was blown away by their focus. I wish I had taped that one cause I have yet to tape one of my classes and (gulp) practice along to it.

back2kcab

2010-01-14T07:03:00.000-08:00

that's back to back...

I am exhausted - I did 3 hrs of yoga last night with a 25 minute break in between. The second class was not bikram exactly, it was "hot yoga." I know I would have been better mentally if it had been Bikram, because I knew what to expect. Instead it was a bastardized version of the series, which I really don't dig very much. However, it's not my class, not my studio, not my problem. I did it because a friend asked me to stay and do it with her. It wouldn't have been such a big deal had I not been working out at the gym a bunch this week and eating light.

It was nice to take the first class easy - I didn't slack off at all, just kept it light and stayed right within the range of happy thoughts, happy mind, no struggle. I was surprised, actually, at how much my postures were about 80% the same with that kind of mindset. Sometimes it's important to turn down the "struggle" dial and let the practice be, pay attention to the breath and the room, etc.

Have not done much on the meal planning front, though have been enjoying some tasty delights.

On Sunday, I whipped up this veggie/minestrone/mulligatawny soup.

I had steamed some broccoli so had some broccoli water. Started there.

Added a head of cauliflower, rough chop

one pepper rough chop (could have used more)

Added kale that needed to be used

one onion

green onions

can of diced tomatoes (big)

de-fatted chicken broth (quart at least, it was a big soup)

lots of turmeric and ginger

other spices - s&p, garlic powder, crushed red pepper

optional - bag of edamame thawed or red beans cooked
tiny touch of olive oil.

continue to spice as it cooks - ginger and turmeric being the keys here!

I mean holy moly it was so tasty. I LOVE it. It was so easy to put together, especially since we had good homemade chicken stock ready to go. It was super easy... usually I would sautee the veggies before adding the broth but I just started the

Back to work.

2010-01-05T08:55:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was a long day... but a rewarding one. After four days in NYC visiting friends and drinking champagne, it was back to work. I knew I'd want to do a little something in the morning so I hooked up my yoga closet and did a class with the bikram cd. I didn't blow it out at all, it was just a way to get moving - I'd say I did about 50-60% effort. In the winter in New England it is impossible to get my yoga closet above about 90 degrees (unless I leave space heaters on all night long). So it's more of a gentle practice when I do it at home these days. It's weird to do bikram gently and with pants on, but whatever - it feels better than not doing it!

So then I realized we're moving to the new schedule and there was going to be a 4pm class for me to take before I taught the 6pm class. Woo hoo! Today I woke up feeling... well not really... but I got the sensation that I had done something nearer to a double than anything I've done since training. Class last night was good, I didn't blow it out too much because I didn't know what it would be like to teach afterwards.

It was fine! In fact, there was no time to second guess and recheck my pranayama dialogue (not that that is a bad thing to do in general). Just practice, then change quickly and check people in, then teach. Wow. I continue to listen to my recorded dialogue in my car... and I work with different poses on repeat to beef up dialogue. So teaching was fine, class timing was totally cool. We lost our big clock (it was old) so there's only a handheld clock to check. I didn't check much but hit the floor somewhere between 52 and 54 minutes. It's still a challenge to get the whole floor series in but I did it, only ran over by 2 minutes.

Practice... well... I'm committed to practicing extremely regularly, and just experiencing my body in the poses. I still feel all whacked since training. Head to knee is better (for me) but still of course I dream of the days when it really improves. Probably in another year or two it will be rock solid. Standing bow - my form is beautiful and balance is abysmal. This is one that if I were to fret - I would fret about my continuing lack of balance in this posture. It's like I know standing head to knee is hard for me, and I accept it. But I can't accept as easily where I find myself in standing bow.

Sigh ;) Really I just like to practice and be in the room practicing. It's just flat out easier for me. Like I could stress out like I used to, but I also have that off switch for the stress and I just chill and practice, knowing that it's years that make the difference, not days. I have nowhere to be. It's not like I'm going to "finish" bikram.

On New Years day, I was asked by two friends to lead a class at a friend's apt. I taught a vinyasa style class (with a few bikram poses thrown in for fun). It was great fun. I noticed how much Bikram is so command based - I had the chance to talk more about experiencing the poses during this class, but I didn't take up that opportunity much. I did end with a nice meditation and reading and I liked that.

Up and coming in 2010

2010-01-04T11:15:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! So... I have made it through the holidays, all the vacation, rich foods, drinking, parties, etc. I'm glad to be on the other side, frankly, It was enough to come home from training and try to get back in the swing of things... but then to have the holidays was amazing and fun, but I'm happy to get back to ROUTINE.

I have changed the name of the blog because I DID go to training and in a sense it was way easier than I thought it would be (the old name of the blog.) It's not appropriate for what I'm going to do in the future, however. I will continue to write about yoga on this blog, but will also include some thoughts on eating and cooking. DH (dear husband) has decided he wants to shape up a bit. I couldn't be more excited to continue my journey and include him more in the healthy eating. Possibly even exercising and coming to Bikram with me!

So as I begin to delve into the world of writing and talking about food and eating, I want to write with full disclosure that I am currently in recovery from Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and Compulsive Overeating (COE). In my recovery journey, it's been very important for me to NOT diet. Starting in the fall of 2007, I legalized all foods and swore that I would never diet again. In late 2008-2009 I worked with my therapist to learn how to start tracking my food intake without playing mental games with myself. I learned and am still learning how to be objective, use information, and make informed, adult decisions on how to live.

I am happy to report that I am on hiatus, maybe permanently, from therapy! I also consider myself in strong recovery. There are times when I use food to soothe my emotions, but it is no longer like it used to be, where every single day I would starve myself and tell myself I had to get thin then get home and binge myself into oblivion. No longer do I come up with crazy extreme weight loss plans and binge as soon as I eat one extra almond. That is very unhealthy mentally, physically, and especially spiritually. It's mean on the spirit and I will never again treat myself that way.

That said, I have had the goal of actively losing weight, to get my body mass index down, so as to be leaner, stronger, and to look more healthy. Thankfully, these days, I feel extremely healthy on the inside, and I am moving closer and closer to having my outsides match the great way that I feel on the inside. Through using the fitday.com food tracker and measuring tape, and doing regular bikram (not to mention the teacher training for 9 weeks) I have definitely shaped up this year. I have not done much weighing yet so I can't say how much.

So... posting about cooking, food, and eating on this blog along with the yoga will be a very personal experience for me. I may even talk about weight. I hope that I can do it in an honorable way - and if I can't, I'll just go back to writing about yoga. But I think it's a more honest reflection of my life in the blog to talk about all of it together. Especially since DH (dear hubby) is along for the ride now and wants to do a healthy eating challenge. I am committed to enjoying myself and not depriving myself. And hopefully having fun and making the blog more interesting!

We're going to use South Beach as a game plan. True, South Beach has a restrictive phase, but I will treat those as guidelines, not rules. Continually I will assert - no food is off limits to me and if I'm hungry for something or just want it anyway, I can always have it.

That said, along with writing about our journey through this, I also want to blog about the idea of meal planning and cooking in advance and freezing. I have always thought that those were things I'd love to do in an ideal world. However... it has never really happened.

This week is the first go at planning for and shopping for the week's dinners in advance. I used a menu planner from the Rachel Ray magazine. It's not south beach style cooking yet, but that's fine. I actually think portion control is more challenging than not eating white rice or bread. We hardly do that anyway. So hopefully by the end of 2010 I'll be a whiz at putting together menus and shopping lists and doing some bulk cooking and freezing. Hey who knows... this time next year I might even be pregnant!

Week flying by

2009-12-17T11:49:00.001-08:00

Last night's practice was at my home studio. I rushed to get there which always leaves you feeling a little harried. However it was just nice to practice. It's not nearly as optimal with the heat at that studio as the studio I visited on Tuesday so I'm heading back there tonight.

Last night's practice - firstly, I keep meaning to say, there was NO HUMIDITY at training. It's so different to sweat because the humidity is right vs. sweating because it's really really hot. The sweat just flows back here on the east coast in ways I completely forgot about for the last nine weeks. Would you believe it really gets my grips messed up sometimes?

Last night I had a run of the mill practice. Second set half moon - AW YEAH BABY I'm at my true body maximum at the end. That's one of the prettiest gifts training gave me. Awkward - before I left for training I had a foot injury that continues to make the second part of awkward truly my weakest point in practice. By the end of training I sat down in that pose to close to where it's designed to go. Since then I'm trying that. The result? I fell straight back on my ass and rolled back onto my back last night and laughed. I like being there taking chances, showing people in the studio that it is OK TO FALL OUT OF YOUR POSTURES. If you fall, that's just you finding your balance! I'd much rather fall out than hang out way high up on the bar stool for a few years.

Head to knee - how do I say just awful in a positive way :) I had no stamina in the pose, my hands were slippy and sweaty. With all this different kind of sweat - different conditions - I have to rework my grips. It's hard for me to reach around the foot to get the initial grip in this pose anyway. Last night - nothing doing. However, it did bring me back to something I learned in training. Apparently the initial part of the pose where your thigh is parallel has been modified a little bit - Bikram was letting people pull the foot up so the thigh was past parallel. I tried to remember the foot "light as a feather" in my hand. Still nothing helped my grip.

Triangle sure feels good to be home. Thank you training, I now LOVE this pose.

Floor series, came and went, nothing amazing doing, just practice.

Today has been great at work, something that I was worried about turned into a real feather in my cap which is amazing and I got my year end bonus. Life is good.

Ah... practice.

2009-12-16T06:42:00.001-08:00

I finally feel like I'm home. I went to a sister studio to practice last night and had a wonderful, deep, focused, strong practice. New studio, front row, nice and hot, new teacher. She was all business, it was great.

My half moon second set was maybe the best it's ever looked. I love this posture since I've come back from training. I still strain to hold it and maintain breathing, but boy do I love it. And I did a bunch of camels yesterday during the day so my backbend second set was nice and open.

Standing balancing still a challenge, but I know that I have to work on squeezing the thigh in standing bow pose. Maybe this will help me. I have great depth but it's such a challenge holding it. Balancing stick - all four sides... held with strength and purpose.

The thing I like most about practicing post training is working with something I learned about half way through training. As the heart rate climbs and the heart slams in the chest, for me, it activates a panic sensation. About half way through training, I started working with my breathing, to really focus and maintain long smooth breathing throughout class, especially when my heart pounded.

Bikram said during training that you'd be operating on a higher level when you returned to your real life, having been turned on to the beginnings of self-realization. I don't know - I can't say that is happening or not happening to me, it's terminology I won't pretend to own. However when I stay with my breath and breath long slow breaths and stay calm instead of letting that heart-pounding-working-hard feeling make me panic (like "I'm not going to be able to keep this up, I'm going to die," etc)... I do feel a real connection with the sensation of working one layer up. Being one step removed from reality. Operating, as Bikram would say, in a higher dimension.

The true test of your fitness in a Bikram class is how quickly your heart calms between postures. I can't say that I have that level of fitness; my heart pounds through the spine strengthening series. But I do, in the rest periods, truly rest, and feel it come back down. I can now identify the sensation of blood rushing to my head in my first backbends of the day. Boy is that wild. Sometimes it is very intense, especially when coming up. That's why I like to do camels throughout the day so that when I practice I don't run into the wooshing and lightheadness in the yoga room.

I had this amazing delicious appreciation towards the 3/4 mark of class last night, appreciating the sweat, the practice, the difficulty, the heart pounding feeling, and really appreciating my own strength and my ability to keep my breath calm in the face of it all, to rise above, as it were. I am so happy I have worked so hard in the past year to get to where I am, where I can truly LOVE practicing Bikram. I am not struggle-minded in the yoga room. Not anymore. I think it's awesome.

I can always connect with beginners though because I remember what it was like in training when I couldn't even stand up some days. When I had shooting pains in my shoulders, cramps, all of it. This year, my 30th year, has been so amazing. I did not know at the beginning of this year that this would be the year that I became a yoga teacher, something i have desired since 2000. I am so proud of what I have accomplished this year. And I love practicing at my home studio, but am psyched to make it over to the other studio twice a week for a new environment, new teachers.

Settling back in...

2009-12-15T09:54:00.000-08:00

I'm finally feeling like I'm inhabiting my own body after training. It was amazing how the last 24 hours in Vegas, the trip home, and the first week home at various points felt like I was watching a movie of my life happening... like I was disconnected from my body, and especially my own volition. I had set things up and they happened to me, around me, and for me. Sure, I still had to do a bunch of stuff, but I followed the path I had created for myself and landed home safely.

Getting back to work within 24 hours of landing was a choice I might not make the same way again. However, I love my job and the people there and so it was the right thing to do. I only managed three practices last week. My body is and was crying out for MORE YOGA PLEASE.

Last night was my third class teaching. I felt great. Much more comfortable. The timing of the class was great, the attendance good, and the heat was perfect. Nice and hot, not TOO humid. Lots of red smiling faces at the end of class. Someone brought a seltzer into class and cracked it during class... it inspired me to add "Crack a beer" to my dialogue. It was funny if I do say so myself.

In general, I feel that my teaching dialogue is strong through the first water break. After that... I have strong poses in a sea of mush. My second teacher to take my class said lots of great things to me about my class and my energy then gently reminded me to keep reading my dialogue. I have not stopped. I took week 9 of training off of dialogue study and I'm thankful that I gave myself that peace. Since I have been home I'm back to listening to the dialogue recording I made in the car, at work, whenever I can. I love auditory learning. So at this point, I feel good about:
Half Moon/backbend/forward bend
awkward
eagle
standing separate leg stretching pose
pavanamuktasana
fixed firm
camel

I feel ok about:
pranayama breathing
kapalabhati breathing
standing head to knee
standing bow
balancing stick
standing separate leg head to knee
rabbit
spine twist

I could really stand to work on:
balancing stick (it just feels a bit icky)
triangle
tree & toe
locust
full locust
bow
separate leg head to knee w/stretching

I know that all the dialogue will get there. The stuff I have I have cold, exact, verbatim.

Regarding practice, I squeezed in a mini-bikram class yesterday before teaching leaving me feeling glowing and plumped up. Maybe pumped up is the right word. 45 minute class with myself in the studio was really really awesome. I looked around when practicing by myself and said... hey! I am a yoga teacher! I'm practicing here, practicing hard, doing my thing, and I have this beautiful space all to myself. I did feel energized for teaching. A little longer though and I would have that wilted sweaty look that I don't want when I am teaching.

Today I'm off to a sister studio to get my butt kicked. I'm hoping to practice every day this work week - 5 classes - plus sunday morning makes 6. I'm hoping that amount of practicing gets me back to feeling like my body is singing. I don't feel awful per se, I just feel the transition from Vegas to Vermont, relative warmth to WINTER, yoga life to regular life with job... I feel it in my body.

I have read some stuff recently by Erich Schiffman (a yogi I admire) and many other yoga blogs that I follow. I wonder if sometimes my blogging about yoga is petulant and whiney, rather than sage and "still" as it "should" be. What a gas. There are always lots of "shoulds" I'll be working with in my life. That's the way my mind works.

I read other people's stories and see them immersing themselves into the yoga world much more deeply than I will be able to do. I admire and envy them at the same time, then return to my perspective, my life... and realize that a life of balance, love, family, and commitment to my circle of people is more important than running off to India to study with the masters. There are many things I can be doing to deepen my practice while maintaining my regular old life. I can be more joyful with what I have right here and right now. I don't have to run off to India or open a yoga studio of my own to do that. In fact that would not be a balanced act on my part.

I am committed to helping my current studio increase its profitability over the next year. I'm helping with marketing materials and ideas. Hopefully we can see some real benefits from marketing over the next couple of months.

Being Home...

2009-12-11T07:58:00.000-08:00

Being home is tough. Training was tough... Coming home right after graduation (like moments after) and diving back in to work/teaching/life is a tough transition. I have particularly struggled with finding the way to practice. From 11 classes a week down to... 2? 3? I have tried to get to more classes but there was snow, no snow tires on my car... It's cold here!

I can't use my yoga room at home. It only gets up to 80-90 degrees. I did one practice there this week and I'm heading to class today thankfully and will practice on Sunday. I'm basically freaking out about how hard it is to get into a heated studio here in Vermont. At least it was this week. I know it's going to get better but yuck. Snow, cold, no practicing... I don't feel very good.

I want and intend to practice more. And, I'm getting a month at the gym because at least I can swim and be in the sauna.

I try to stay positive really I do! I will feel more positive when I don't feel quite so panicked. Hopefully soon. I do love being home with Jonas and the kitties. That part is great. I would have given myself a few days at home before returning to work if I had thought things through a little better.

The cycle is complete!

2009-12-08T07:02:00.000-08:00

I taught my first class last night. From here on out I'll keep my posting about class to a minimum, but what a milestone. I arrived two hours before class started to meet with my studio head to discuss the nitty-gritty details of teaching. After a few moments to reconnect, it was time to get down to business. We reviewed the heating, humidity, and ventilation systems in the room. We reviewed the process of checking people in. The night before, I had gone over my dialogue a bit. Yesterday I was tired and shellshocked, fighting a cold, and was of course nervous to see what would happen when I taught!

People streamed into the studio starting exactly a half hour before the class. For a studio that only has ten people in class much of the time, there were fifteen or more people there - maybe sixteen plus my studio head. Checking everyone in and keeping money straight kept me out of my head and busy before class. Many of my yoga friends happened to be there, everyone was welcoming.

Class - started five minutes late, ended five minutes late. It was amazing to get in there and go to the front of the crowded room. My studio head ran the heat in the room for me so there was one less moving part in a room full of people's moving parts. Bikram is 26 postures two breathing exercises, everything done twice. First there are standing postures and then postures on the floor interspersed periods of rest. Getting all the postures in (two sets) in 90 minutes is incredibly challenging. I didn't fret too much about the timing. However, hitting the floor at 55 minutes left me only 35 minutes to complete the floor series, which was just difficult. I ended up teaching one set of most of the poses to get the class done on time.

I really felt that I had lots of good energy to give and good encouraging things to say. I had a beginner in the class and she was excellent, listened well, and I was able to keep an eye on her and keep the class moving. I made two corrections and it didn't mess me up too much, I was able to keep things moving. I need to work on my half moon, triangle, and cobra dialogue, keeping things moving, fresh, etc. I got a little stuck in triangle and said the same thing over and over again (stretch your right hand down left hand up etc.) and my setups for these postures could have been more snappy.

All in all I am extremely pleased and it was rewarding to see them come out of the room, red faced and smiling, cheering me on - "great class!" so timing is something that I can work on easily! One down, a million more to go.

I'm home.

2009-12-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

Wow. I'm home. I'm shellshocked. Friday night was the last class. The last couple days I was able to work hard every single class - maybe in anticipation of being done. I felt happy to dance and hug and cry after class, but every bounce around was accompanied by deep pain and tiredness. Went out to dinner Friday night and then to the optional class Saturday. Graduation was Saturday. It was uneventful, tearful, etc. then I pretty much got on a plane right away to get home.

The redeye flight - happy to be on it, happy it was over. Traveling all night was a decision that I made, so I stuck to it. It allowed me to be back at work today. Still, the whole time up until pretty much now I've felt like I'm dreaming... it all happened so fast. Yesterday seeing Jonas was amazing. Having a few sips of beer was yummy. One of the greatest experiences of yesterday was cutting up lettuce and cilantro and tomatoes in my own kitchen. That was divine. Seeing my kitties - amazing.

So... I teach my first class tonight! I'm tired, have a cold, and would rather go home and sleep but I will teach damn it! Last night I slept from 5-10pm then got up and made some tea and looked over the dialogue. I then fell back asleep listening to it on my ipod. Tonight - I'm hoping to make it through all poses all sides all sets in something like 90 minutes. What comes out of my mouth? It will be an experiment. The dialogue itself can always be improved upon.

The teacher training... well it was an amazing experience and I learned so freaking much there. Just coming back into the real world and talking to real people makes me understand how much I've learned. Would I recommend it? I would specifically not recommend it to someone, then wait for them to argue with me about how much they want to go. Depending on how far they would argue that is how much I would support them going. You so have to have the desire to be there with full knowledge of what you're getting into. Without that burning desire you will not make it. Ten people dropped out of the training. Out of 300, that's not too bad. Basically, it's really, really hard. I am so amazed at myself for making it through - amazed and proud.

I won't blog too much about teaching specifics, to protect the privacy of my studio and the students. We'll see how it goes. I do hope to blog still about my practice. Having not practiced bikram since saturday morning, I'm feeling... weird. I want to be in that room so bad - not just to teach. I think my first practice will be at home tomorrow morning though. In the studio, Wednesday will be my first day. I'm contacting studio owners locally to say hello. Most studios are far away and not accessible for daily life but I am not going to practice a ton at home either. I'll figure it all out. This Sunday I will be husbandless and thus will get to do a double. Whooppee!!!

2009-12-03T16:56:00.005-08:00

Week 9 is grueling, long, no letup. It is not winddown week. However Craig and Emmy classes are amazing.

2009-12-03T16:56:00.003-08:00

Barely. Good news have first few classes scheduled and am happy.

2009-12-03T16:56:00.001-08:00

I feel like so much information is being forcefed into me that I might want to phisically puke. My brain - foie gras. Body- BEAT DOWN. Spirit - hanging on.

Thanksgiving dinner

2009-11-26T20:48:00.000-08:00

We had an amazing four hour dinner... with unofficial talent show. Everyone was amazing. I got a haircut from my neighbor across the hall - a great stylist. Fabulous!!!

I started to really comprehend the enormity of going home next Saturday. I have gotten used to being away from my loved ones and am thrilled at the prospect of going back to them. Him.

End of week 8... Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T12:47:00.000-08:00

Well... I have had a tough couple of weeks really... I haven't written much because I have felt strongly that I have nothing positive to say and I didn't want to be negative. Week six, seven, and the first few days of week 8 were a real grind. I did not feel the end was in sight, nor was it until now. The schedule was long, hectic, unforgiving, and the classes just pile up. The sheer amount of yoga in the hot room is pretty unimagineable. Many times I had the thought "don't look down... I'm doing this. I'm really doing this." I read many accounts of training and I knew exactly what I was getting into but I had no conception of how it would feel and how tough I would become in this process.

The last few weekends have been studying studying and more studying... getting four or five postures memorized a weekend, which leaves little time for resting and relaxation, which is really what we need. My body is hamburger. I was feeling very strong (with the requisite days of weakness and inability to do much physically that comes with the strong days) and making progress in my practice then in about the middle of week seven my foot pain came roaring back and I had to sit an entire standing series, in abject fear that this would sideline me for good. I have tried to explore the idea of being curious about the sensation while trusting that the yoga would continue to heal me. Thankfully I am feeling much better and had a twinge free (muscle spasm free) class this morning. Posture clinics have been quite challenging, I sang like an opera singer in one. They had no idea but singing in front of people is definitely a stress button to push in me... more stressful than the posture clinic in fact. It's funny how they find your exact buttons to push to get you out of your comfort zone here.

Yesterday we delivered our last posture "final spinal" in the lecture tent on stage. Our group was lucky enough to end there, where we can stomp and cheer and hoot and holler. The week had really been dragging for me and I was feeling extremely negative, withdrawing, not wanting to be around people, not wanting to practice... just a large dose of don't wanna taking over. But that posture clinic really perked me up, then we had a class taught by bikram last night and a great lecture by Lynn Whitlow that really did bring so much of training together for us. This morning instead of the back to back we were all expecting we got one class (a great class) and were given the day off except for a great turkey dinner given by Bikram for us all. Wow did I need some time off.

I feel extremely thankful for my health, my practice, my family, Jonas, the kitties, my roommate, this experience, all the things and people who encouraged me to come, this country, everything. This morning I worked so hard in class. I gave it my everything. I'm proud of the minute differences I can see and feel in my practice. I miss everyone. I can't wait to come home. It's official, one week from Saturday I'm on a plane. I cannot wait.

Wednesday week 7

2009-11-17T11:48:00.000-08:00

I could hardly write last weekend... Week six was so hard for me. I had two very weak classes and I was worried that since I didn't set myself the goal that week to do every posture that I was just a slacker innately and that I had to set hard and rigid goals for myself in order to practice well. Not the case, it was a visit from mother nature that caused the weakness and so I was back to full strength by the week's end. In fact on Saturday I practiced right in front of the podium with Rajashree teaching - and completed a no-water class. In order to do that I was peeing like crazy every ten minutes before-hand but it was an amazing experience. I felt great and totally focused.

Week six had a nice 3 am night followed by a 5am night. That just kills me. I don't want to say too much about it because I don't want to be negative.

Today I had a great great morning class. I went farther in many poses than I have in the whole training, incorporating and consolidating my gains. It was a morning class to boot - wherein you often are less flexible. So we're really on the downslope here - just like 18 days left total, 8 days to Thanksgiving (theyr'e giving us a nice banquet dinner) and then nine days after that till I get to go home. I cannot wait to go home and see Jonas.

We're on half-tortoise in posture clinics and there's talk of finishing all 26 postures by the end of the week. I am not sure that's going to happen but I'd love it if it did (even though I haven't much looked at the last three postures) because that would be a huge load off our minds and allow us to enjoy the weekend. WE have our cpr certification this weekend and my posture clinic group is going out to dinner together Saturday night.

I still have $200 of my $600 food card to use in the hotel which is much better than most people - I have been very careful about budgeting that money. I have lots of "room food" in the room - ramen, instant mashed postatoes, canned veggies, crap like that. I'm pretty done with food you can cook with hot water. I'm going to try to make it to the end without going shopping. I will run out of bananas for smoothies in the morning but I will only have two full weeks left when that happens and so I'm not so worried about pumping nutrients in. I have made it this far and know that minus a few fresh things I'll still be able to make it to the end. Good news is I've been so careful with my money that I will have enough cash for new glasses when I get home. I've needed them for about three years so I'm quite excited about new glasses for the new me.

Postures:
half moon really getting some good gains in lateral flexion
awkward - doesn't suck nearly as bad any more
eagle almost tucking my foot behind the calf
head to knee not much new - can touch head to knee sometiems, balance still crappy
standing bow can't wait to see what it's like at home
balancing stick stronger, longer
sep leg stretching - i can really feel my spine stretching
triangle - STRONGER AND LONGER!
head to knee sep leg - better stronger longer more stamina
tree toe - some improvement not much
floor series...
bow I felt awesome today - my foot pain went to my kneewhich killed this pose then today it went back to the foot and this pose ROCKED again!
everything else is pretty much the same, rabbit my um, chest, doesn't suffocate me anymore must have lost some inches there
camel I almost saw my toes today
sep leg stretching I really touched elbows to calves first time and stretching I touched both thumbs to my forehead thsi am.

Woo hoo!

2009-11-15T19:03:00.001-08:00

No big post for wk 6 long and hard I'm upset tired and want to go home. Did a water free class and went in front of the podium for the first time Saturday.

2009-11-09T11:11:00.001-08:00

I finally held all four triangle poses!! Day 36 of training! WOO HOO!!!

Week 5 Stayin' Alive!

2009-11-08T12:43:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!

I'm in a happy place today. More than halfway through training, I'm rested, I went to the spa this morning and memorized a posture while sitting in the jacuzzi and steam room. I spoke with some friends, which is REALLY nice. My roommate and I worked really hard on memorization yesterday and ran our errands right after class so Sunday has arrived and I can truly relax. Praise be!

This week was amazing. We were put through our paces. Along with our standard 11 bikram classes, we had our final anatomy test, then nothing but posture clinic. We went from Standing Bow through the end of the standing series this week. I have not heard of any other training that did this many postures in a single week. The stress levels around training were extraordinary. People were in tears, walking around the hotel bleary-eyed, mumbling things about locking your elbows and touching your forehead to the knee. We have taken over the east wing lobby area - at most times during the week when we're off, there are yogis down there reciting and performing postures. The "civilians" as we call them (normal hotel guests) walk by, drinks in hand, with wide eyes. On occasion some dumbass drunk dude will say something about "can I help?" and laugh with his buddies. We just laugh.

I was in relatively good shape until Thursday night with the postures. I got great feedback this week. I delivered standing separate leg head to knee when I was just tired on Wednesday night. It was the first time I delivered a posture I was kind of unsure of, and certainly I had not delivered a pose when I was feeling totally out of it. It went just fine! I surprised myself and I'm glad I went. When I did tree and toe stand together on Thursday night I finally was told that I'm to move on to starting to think about and deliver corrections to the demonstrators along with the straight dialogue. Woo hoo! Thursday night, after that, we had another day of posture clinics ahead, and I finally got to the point where I did not know the next posture and would have to memorize a page worth of stuff overnight to potentially teach it the next day. (In the end, we did not do the first "floor series" posture the next day so my stress was not warranted.)

I definitely had a moment of looking around and wondering who I was going to study with. I work with my roommate a lot and my neighbors but my neighbors have been doing their own thing recently. And when I study with them sometimes recently I've felt like I was butting in (which is a feeling that I hate.) This is probably all in my head of course. So I stress ate some chips instead of studying, but stopped after about five minutes and started to study on my own and found some folks to work with the next morning. It was a good little emotional rollercoaster ride for me to have that reaction and to pull out of it.

Physically this week - I am extremely proud. I set myself a goal that I would do every posture this week. We do two sets of each posture for the most part, so there were 3-4 times where I took a knee for one set of something. But I DID EVERY POSTURE. I did not let myself "check out" when it got hot and hard and just sit there. Bikram taught a brutal class Wednesday night where he did not allow anyone to sit. "If you sit you disrupt my class. You must leave." I was in the middle towards the back. Bikram CORRECTED THE PERSON NEXT TO ME. She ended up leaving the room after that. It was the first time his eagle eye has been so close to me. It was terrifying and exhiliarating though because I know that he has seen me and recognizes my effort and alignment are 100%. Thursday night Jenna from SF taught. I don't usually post names of people in this blog because I don't want to get into any of that. However Jenna was amazing in posture clinic (tough but accurate and helpful.) And her class was easily my favorite of training. Very tough but calm and focused. Laser beam focus in the room. I loved it.

Friday night there was a camera crew in the room. There were rumors going around that our sleep depended on us staying on our mats in the room (typically many people just can't hack it and leave the room, especially if we're not allowed to sit down and take a knee (by Bikram). He killed us on Wednesday. There was palpable fear in the room. The weather all week was warm so the room was toasty, floor hot all week. So I talked with a buddy of mine who had been struggling all week - we talked about breathing in the warm up poses (especially eagle) and going into the poses carefully and with control so that you go exactly to the right point at the right time. I'm so glad I had that talk with her because I meant to help her get through the class but I helped myself at the same time. I kept track of my breath ALL THE WAY THROUGH CLASS. It's so amazing to breathe "low slow flow" when your heart is pounding. I also said "I love you Anna" throughout the class when things got tough. I have always struggled with saying things like that and meaning it. It may sound hokey or cheesy but I needed to feel that connection with my higher self, like I was there, powerful, and taking care of myself, doing this out of love and not punishment. It often feels like punishment. I was glowing and radiant after class. I worked my ass off but was so very very proud of myself. It was easily my best class. Of course, I still haven't held all four sides of triangle, but I'm getting stronger.

Saturday morning, at the end of it all... I was so tired and my body was revolting against me. My practice was shit. Just shit. But I was so close to making it through every posture that I willed myself on. I willed myself on! Come the floor series I had that horrible feeling where your body is made of lead. I was so close but it was so hard. I ended up in tears, sobbing, doing some semblance of the last few postures. I would not give up. It was not pretty. It was straight up ugly in fact but I did them.

So... that's week five. I did it. I stayed alive. And I'm happy for it.

Week 4 Strength and weakness

2009-10-31T19:19:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing week this week. Monday night (second class of the week) I felt like I had a whole new muscle suit of armor on... This week I did some amazing things physically. Many here at the training arrived with all these capabilities so it's maybe not that amazing for most teachers but it's big for me.

In padahastasana, warm up forward bend, I touched my forehead to my shins. In standing head to knee pose, I touched my forehead to both knees - then quickly fell out of the posture, but I did it for a second! My balance is getting better and I can definitely hold all parts longer. In half tortoise I kept my hips on my heels for the first time EVER (trying to do this since the dawn of time). In the final forward bend (seated) I touched my elbows to the floor early this week and Friday night in Bikram's class I touched, for a moment, my thumb to my forehead (while holding my toes with index and middle fingers). It was an incredibly rewarding week for me. I felt very strong until Thursday, then I had a weak, weak day. A cheeseburger halfway through the day may have helped me back on Friday - I had a great hilarious class with a British teacher and Friday night's class with Bikram. He requested that everyone wear black and orange and we did... Saturday morning (this morning) I was all icky feeling and had to take it kind of easy. But all in all this was a great week for me.

Posture clinics are going well. I have to take back what I said before about the teachers giving us harsh criticism. They have been completely fair in my opinion and are definitely trying to help us be better teachers. I delivered standing bow pulling pose last night (we were in clinic till 12:30am) in front of the head of the posture clinic "department" at training. I was incredibly nervous but did a very good job. I actually put so much juice in it that she said you're doing a great job but you use that energy in that balancing pose and you might knock them out of the pose! She gave me tips on the pacing and intensity of the next few postures and sent me on my way. Best "homework" ever. Awesome.

I have started to become a helper for my posture clinic group. I have a reputation as a good dialogue deliverer - good inflection, command and power, and the ability to control my voice purposefully. I have helped quite a few people this week and plan to get to posture clinic 20 minutes early each night to help others. It's good karma yoga. I could help out at the weekend study sessions but I need that time to get ahead in my own memorization. There are some who arrived with the whole dialogue memorized but I am not one of those! Double posture clinics will start this week and we will quickly catch up to what I know, then I'll be scrambling like everyone else.

Note for those going to training:
Bring three outfits that are for posture clinic only. Capris, tanks, sports bras - separate from anything you practice in. There are rules about what you can wear to posture clinic and they're strict about it. So save yourself some scrambling and have separate posture clinic clothes. NO GREEN THINGS AT TRAINING - no mats, water bottles, blankets, sweats, clothes of any kind. NOTHING green. Ask Bikram why at training.

Memorization-wise - DO NOT sign up for training at the last minute. Save yourself some grief and wait for the next training. Sign up early and get your dialogue and spend 3-4 months with it. Arrive with the standing series memorized and memorized well. Then you will be VERY HAPPY. When you memorize work with someone so they can check that you're doing it verbatim. You can't just read it out loud either. You will be delivering it with feeling, standing up in front of about 40 people and three teachers writing notes about you that you never get to read. It's purposefully more stressful than teaching an actual class (so they say.)

Every day you need good electrolytes. I like Ultima brand lemonade - it's stevia sweetened. Great. I also use trace mineral drops in my water. I have two insulated water bottles, one for straight water, one for water and trace minerals and ultima mix (1 scoop). I put ice in my bottles. Some teachers recommend against it. It is my habit to reach for coldness in the hot room. I will try to work on that. I swear. Rooming with someone from my home state has been wonderful. The luck of the draw can be good or bad... I guess that's why they call it the luck of the draw.

Last thing, in class, just wear shorts for guys, shorts and sports bra for girls. They haven't cracked down on the capris in the yoga room yet, but they could - Bikram wants to SEE the KNEE.

I guess that's it for now... Happy Halloween. I wore my orange cardboard flames that Janet gave me with my going away present to class this morning. They wilted about as soon as I walked in the room, but I do have a pic of my friend in a nun habit and me in my flames. Maggie and I went to the wax museum today (also some great pics.) I swear pics will be posted soon... Internet issues prevent it usually. I should be studying but I'm watching movies and studying at the breaks, chatting with Jonas, and trying to rest and relax before a massive study effort tomorrow. WOO HOO!!!!!

Week 3 Lock the f-n knee!

2009-10-25T11:16:00.000-07:00

Week three started on a very high note for me. Bikram was gone for the week to Japan and many other such exotic places where he is needed and wanted all the time. What that meant for us was a week of being excused at 11pm. It gave us a sense of regularity and calmness of schedule that was quite welcomed. Our schedule for the week was:
8:30-10am class with Emmy (with 8am sign in)
12:30 - 3 anatomy lecture with Dr. Tripiani (think I spelled that right)
3-4 lecture with Emmy (more about Emmy later)
5-6:30 class with 4:30pm sign in
9-11 pm posture clinic with various teachers leading small groups in really targeted teaching training exercises
BLESSED BLESSED SLEEP

Wash, rinse, repeat.

About Emmy - she is the 83 year old principle teacher of Bikram's Yoga College of India. She's been doing yoga for over sixty years. She is an absolutely amazing teacher who has seen everything. She is a stickler for alignment and I loved every one of her classes, even the one I ended up crying in... because of the heat. It wasn't particularly hot for most but it was for me. This is typical - some of us are strong and heat proof while others are weak/sick/suceptible to the heat/ etc. We're all on our individual ups and downs.

So Emmy is known for her toughness. She is tough in a different way than Bikram is. He is off the wall bouncing with energy. She is as Minali (staff member) says Silent. But Deadly. She was the first teacher to get off the podium and roam the room sneaking up on people to correct them. That's a freaky feeling - you don't know where she is and you are doing everything with the fear of god in you because you don't want to be poked and prodded or snuck up on from behind. Thankfully I work with attention to alignment all the time so I was not corrected this week. I spent 2-3 classes right in front of her as she taught from the back of the room so that was great. She holds poses for longer than I can (she asks us to hold poses for a long time) but I always fall out. I'm not that strong yet. Monday she taught a two hour class to start the week which had everyone walking around sore and tired for days.

Her lectures on pain (and other things) and her pose corrections and day of triangle posture clinic were wonderful. I have pictures but the internet connection here is 14 dollars a day so this is the first time my roommate and I have paid for it. She was up this time so her computer is what I'm using... and so I don't want to download my pics from my camera. But I will try...

I was riding high early in the week. In posture clinics, we deliver memorized pose instructions in a mock class setting with about forty people watching us, and teachers critiquing us. It is stressful for everyone, even me, who is not afraid of public speaking and feels good teaching. I am a born teacher and have wanted to teach yoga for about ten years, so this is the part of the training I'm stronger in. I'm not as strong at the actual yoga but it all evens out it seems.

In the hotel room suite, they have moved out all the furniture. There are two 15-20 person trainee groups in each room. We have our group that we stick with and another group each time so we eventually get to do posture clinic with everyone, and all different teachers. The room has taped off areas for the teacher, the demonstrators (the mock class members), etc. Everyone sits on the floor, there are strict rules about eating, going to the bathroom, no leaving, etc.

I have a theory about the militancy here. I feel that there are some who come to this training as a kind of yoga vacation. They're kind of la-di-da about the whole thing. Then there are those of us who researched the crap out of everything and take things very seriously, learn as much of the memorization stuff before we get here as we can, and are really tuned in. So I believe that the militancy in schedule and rules is for those la-di-da-ers - to get them out of la-di-da-land and heads into the training. Some of them have strong practices so the doubles don't automatically break them down (like me). Those of us who take things very seriously to begin with need to lighten up in situations like this as much as we can, because otherwise it gets to be very oppressive.

Lightening up is not one of my strong suits.

This week I was riding high on sleep and regularity of schedule. After class on Wednesday morning however I had chills in bed for 45 minutes and could hardly walk to afternoon lecture. It was 85 degrees out and I was wearing a hat and sweats and was still cold. After being checked by the nurse I had a fever and was sent to my room to rest. Fever broke over night but I think my immune system was weak and I picked up the cold that's going around, so I've had two days of very sore throat followed by the rest of the cold, coughing, sneezing, congestion, the works. Thank goodness it is the weekend when this is happening.

So... my time with this computer is almost up but I'll try to add some pics.

Pose checkin One third of the way through

2009-10-24T15:04:00.000-07:00

Pranayama - fine. working on contracting the thighs throughout and sucking the stomach in. I can at least do these things both most of the time.

Half Moon - I don't feel I have that much more lateral flexion in the spine (thanks Dr. T) but what I have is regular. Backbending - I had my nice deep backbend for a little while and it's gone way away. padahastasana - I don't feel I'm making progress in this pose, but I'm also not really pushing it too much. I haven't been strong enough through the entire class to push the warm up yet.

Awkward- AWKWARD! this pose is one of my most hated moments of every class. the first part at least I'm able to do wtihout getting too tired. The second part I have marked improvement in since training started. I came with a foot injury that this pose was very painful. Now I'm doing it and going down as far as the barstool (some days farther) without pain. third part - have pain in my left knee when I go down and frequently I fall out. I still suck at coming back up in this pose at the end, no chance of having my spine straight.

Eagle - patiently, I have almost got one of my feet behind the calf muscle all the way (second side!) This is exciting. Also this week with Emmy here I started to not just interlace the fingers but extend them palms together. I don't have the palms together yet, but I'm trying. I'd say there's a 1-2inch differential depending on the day between the palms. And when I'm tired to start, I fall out. That's pretty much true of everything.

Balancing series -
Head to knee - have marked improvement. From someone who could hardly stand on my left foot when I arrived, this morning, Saturday, I kicked out and held it on both sides. for how long? Maybe ten seconds to be honest. I don't have very good balance on one foot. I have tiny, narrow feet. Still, improvement.

Standing Bow - thanks to Emmy, I work on bringing my kicking hip down in the bow, and don't go forward till I feel the kicking back leg pull my arm back. At that point I try to bring everything down. I can bring it down but I have never held it for more than five seconds. I really hope this improves. I do feel stronger in the pose.

balancing stick - when I'm on, I'm on. I know my alignment is awesome in this pose. it's a matter of stamina. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I'm sitting for one set to try to survive the standing series and do some triangles. Sometimes I hold the full pose for the full time. Finally, one pose I can say that about! I had a good balancing stick before I left. I really work on charging forward.

Sep. leg stretching - I havent' made any improvement in this pose really, because at home I practice on a mat not a carpet. practicing on a carpet is really really hard, especially a new slick carpet. Sliding city. I find myself using my arm strength to hold my legs from slipping sometimes. I also frequently when tired find myself taking a knee here to try to avoid skipping any triangle.

Triangle - DOOZY. firstly, I am proud to say that whatever I do in this pose, the master pose, the hardest of the series, I do honestly and fully. No crappy hip popping up legs close together triangle for me. That said... I feel sad that I don't have more strength to hold this pose for longer. Though it's by far my toughest pose, I continually work towards making full effort and trying. Because my stamina is just not as good as most of the other trainees, it's rare that I do every pose of a class (when doing doubles in the hot hot hot teacher training room and getting very little sleep). So that said, I am trying to the best of my ability. Emmy did a lot of triangle posture clinic stuff wtih us before she left and I learned a lot about rolling the hip forward and tightening the butt behind it, then lifting off the hip and twisting away (back). Fabulous, amazing, powerful stuff. Putting it into practice - I hope that by the next time I check in that I can say that in at least one class I was able to hold it in great alignment for two sides two sets.

Head to knee sep leg - doing this pose hands together in prayer most of the time and inching my forehead up the leg a bit at the end when I can. that's totally progress.
Am usually wobbly wobbly wobbly at this point in class.

tree - stronger balance than before, no 2 knees in one line yet for me. With my extra chunk on my body I do the best I can. I don't have very open hips in that direction. Am working on focusing on that hip joint exactly to work on that.

toe stand - have gone down on both sides (amazing since the foot injury disappeared in week 2). Short arms make it super hard for me to have help stretching up to the ceiling. I know I need to work my core to do this... but I'm not there yet. Once or twice I got my hands into prayer before tumbling forward.

Savasana - holding my heels together is hard for me. My left leg (of injury fame) doesn't like it - the knee doesn't like it. I try to do it in some classes. this pose gets dicey (can you believe that?!!?) when the heat is pumping through the floor. There have been times while I'm trying to rest and catch my breath that I cannot stay in savasana because the floor is burning me. then I pop up, usually in tears, and sit on my butt, knees bent. I hate it when the floor is really hot - there is no relief, nowhere to run. I don't consider leaving the room a real option. tears come easily at that point, but I try to control the abject sobbing because it's a waste of energy and water. I think a lot of that is a feeling of firstly, cooking, secondly - not fair. Bikram often says you have nothing to lose because you had nothing in the first place to begin with. I have always taken the floor not being burning for granted in savasana. I've always taken it for granted that there was always somewhere to rest if I needed it, to find peace. I do feel so upset/angry/not-fair about this being taken away from me. It's easy to check my ego at the door regarding my postures. I knew coming in I was not as strong as most trainees. I try to do what I do 100% right though. Having savasana not be a soft place to land is very very hard for me when the room is hot. (like 120 - 130 degrees.)

Wind removing pose. Sigh... no real progress here. I have short arms. the third part, I try all the tricks - trying to grab my shin to get one arm some leverage to get to the elbows... no dice. No dice. I really try. Will continue to try. Also losing some more weight will help.

Situps - with lots of focus and instruction, these have improved, my effort and execution have improved even while tired.

Cobra - this pose has really changed at training. I have a pretty cobra, and can get my arms to 90 degrees with the help of my hands, but always using the spine strength first and adding the arms at the end. I love feeling the strong back side of the body in this posture.

Locust - nothing doing here. Sore, tired, rarely do I feel any freedom or lift or lightness here.

Full locust - I was soaring this morning. When exhausted, my maintenance level of this pose is pretty pathetic. But good to be doing it. I just feel like lead sometimes and even while looking up, I don't go up.

Bow - when I really push this to my limits I get a yucky tweak in the left lower back. I know there is a tightness there ongoing. So instead of trying to push it up up up, I'm trying to find length through that hip from the lower back to the thigh. I continue to work my awareness there. I know it's worth it for me to work the length before the height. Alway always looking up in this pose. I didn't know why before Emmy told us about looking back (or up) in prep for any backbend, to calm the body's natural protect-that-spine reflex.

Fixed firm - no problem.

Half Tortoise - I am getting closer and closer and closer to the day when I will be able to keep those hips on the heels. I move so slowly in to this pose thinking every day that today may be the day :)

camel - I have a great camel at home. Here I struggle to do camel. I have not made progress in this pose. however, I know that doing it, every class, is the culmination of the series, so doing it is important and is helping me build strength and flexibility. I don't hve too much attachment to this pose going out the window because my back is way stiffer from this amountof practice. Hopefully this will change in later weeks.

rabbit - A hard pose for me. I was not even grabbing my feet till about two weeks before training. And that was a gift to me from a teacher who suggested I take a small gap between the knees and feet to help me grab the feet wtihout bending the heck out of my wrists. In this pose, my boobs literally suffocate me. I think there are a small group of people in the world who would understand that feeling and how awful it is. I can get so little air that sometimes it triggers absolute panic. Actually, it always triggers panic to be suffocated while upside down in a claustrophobic position. Sometimes I can breathe a little bit and stay with it. Often I can't. Working on stretching the right part of the back is awesome though.

sep leg stretching - I like this pose a lot. I realized when I got here that I wasn't exactly keeping both hips on the ground. I have seen some egregious poses though - mine is not like that. But I found a centimeter or two gap and I work to close that. Sometimes that means I don't flex my foot all the way off the ground. Most of the time I try to flex it a few times while keeping the hip down. When I'm feeling strong by this point in class (don't think its happened in 3 wks) I can do it all. My forward bend is out the window from what it is at home. But I always try the right way for the health benefits of the pose.

Spinal twist - I hope to be able to grab the knee with no towel assistance by the time I get home. I have short arms and big thighs and big biceps so it's not happening now.

Final blowing - this is getting way stronger.

Phew! More pose updates at 2/3 and all the way through.